Close Your Eyes and Breathe Deeply

i had more, but it got deleted. :(

2011-07-08T06:27:00.001+02:00

Today, I was reminded of the great love of Father and the divine appointments he has in our lives. I was reminded of how he chose you.. that one person reading my blog, out of everyone in the world to be where you are and do what you are doing when you are doing it. That everything he does has a HUGE purpose, and he is this glorious, mighty genius, we get to call Father.

There is a story, that I know you know well of the woman at the well. Father placed her at the well, Jesus was there - perfect timing, God's timing. She's the perfect representation of what it is to be human and trusting in self and worldly things and passions.

After questioning Jesus' intentions, Jesus says to her "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "give me a drink," you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water."

This woman looks, I would like to think, in the eyes of Jesus - but that's not recorded, and says to Jesus, Sir, you have nothing to draw water with and the well is deep...."

I'm not entirely sure where this post going... other than the beautiful picture of how human this woman of samaria is in painting a picture of our own souls. How many times do we look at Jesus and tell him that our problems are too deep, he has nothing to draw this water with. His grace ISN'T enough.

but it is. If we drink the water he offers, we will never thirst again... <3

what i've learned...

2010-01-14T06:48:00.000+01:00

well, i've learned some new things about me. or i've newly learned them.. not sure which.

i'm really bad at doing things with people that hasn't been planned. any ounce of being spontaneous has disappeared lately.

i'm very indecisive, and sometimes wonder how people can be so sure of everything and of life. I get nervous and worry and get confused so easily over small things - like tiny things.

I'm not always good at making my own decisions. i want someone to tell me what to do when I don't know what to do. I want things to be simple. I don't like conflicts.. like which way to wear my wedding dress. I want to solve things immediately. I don't like waiting a week, b/c i know i'll worry and be stressed out for a week.

I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people I don't see face to face. I also don't seem to make much of an effort to see people, lately. I don't like it. I get to busy with life (or my life) to really invest in or spend time in other lives.

i started teaching first grade at church. They are really cute. It's been so long that I've taught that age group, that I kind of freaked out inside b/c i'm now used to high school. But i'm excited.

I want to cling to Father more.

2009-12-10T23:12:00.001+01:00

It's Christmas time. :-)
Yay

2009-11-07T17:05:00.001+01:00

Cute Purikura Online cute

Wait? What? I have a blog?

2009-10-13T15:35:00.004+02:00

Sometimes I wonder if I'm enough... if I'll ever be enough, if i'll satisfy, if I'll always make him happy, if I'll even be able to make him happy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not as great as the last person, sometimes I wonder if I'm not as pretty or as nice or kind, or fun, or tall or giving or as independent (less clingy, able to do things on my own), and the list goes on and on and on and then I realize.. i've got it all wrong. I'm focusing on me and not on us. More importantly, i'm focusing on me/us and not on Christ. This is where I fall short.

I want to cling to the cross and I want that to be reality and not just a great idea. I want to hunger for the word and live it in every thing I say, every decision I make, every step I take... and I long to satisfy Christ.... that is where I should find my worth.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for a hope and a future.

<3

Life has been so crazy, yet so exciting at the same time. Since the last time I've updated, I'm halfway through my hardest semester, feel like the end is near but no where in site at the same time, I've been engaged for seven months, I'm living with a couple that works at and attends ASU and I get to go to a Dallas Cowboy Football game. I'm getting to fellowship and hangout and study the word with 4-5 amazing girls on Wednesdays at school and I am hanging out with a group of people who are seeking Christ on Thursday nights. Seth and I are goign to 'marriage mentoring' and i'm falling more and more in love with Seth every day.

Lara

mainly for me to grasp it all..

2009-08-14T17:30:00.004+02:00

What my semester looks like:
Managing Editor at Ram Page
Working for information technology (possibly in multimedia)
2+ hours at Central High School every week
18 hours of classes
Independant study researching portrayal of obama/american politics in German media.
Wedding Planning
Studying for teXes exCet exams
Studying for German exit exam

niel cole wrote this in cultivating..
When I get busy, I tend to forget the most imprtant reason why I’m here- my prime directive: to make more and better disciples. (Matt 23:18-20)! In fact, unlike Jesus, the busier I become, the more I lose compassion for the lost. It doesn’t take much for the multitudes to become more of a stumbling block to impede my effectiveness rather than a reason for becoming effective….A long line is an obstacle rather than an opportunity.

2009-08-11T16:00:00.001+02:00

Today my calendar says that love is powerful.

damaris.. speaking of language..

2009-08-10T21:34:00.003+02:00

i've been thinking about how no one really 'knows' english.

The dog THAT bit the child has not been found. (no name, therefore a THAT)
Their cat Fluffy, who bit me, was ran over by a car. (a name, therefore a who)
Mobil is the oil company that wants to invite you to support public television. (a business = a that)

easy. but we mess up a lot b/c we don't think about it.

i'm bored. :-/ can you tell?

2009-07-22T18:17:00.000+02:00

Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I’ll stand.

(Pre-Chorus)
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.

(Chorus)
So I throw my life upon all You are,
‘Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever.

(Bridge)
And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
Of how You gave Your life away,
Just to save me, Lord You saved me.

With You, where the love lasts forever.

2009-07-21T23:34:00.003+02:00

this season of my life is quite the interesting one. I am working somewhere I never really thought I would work... and I am also learning it is a place where I have learned lessons I'm not quite sure I would have learned otherwise. I'm learning my deep love for stories and people and giving a voice to the voiceless. And sometimes just allowing those who already have a voice a way to get news to the people. It isnt' about who writes it, how it is written, or what have you, rather it is about informing the masses in the most right, ethical, truthful way possible.

2009-07-13T16:36:00.001+02:00

I just got back from a week in Amarillo. Sara and Sean are married! Now I am back at work.

why do we pray?

2009-06-22T20:46:00.002+02:00

one of the oldest questions that I've heard is the question of 'why do we pray?' or 'how do we pray?'

The other night I was sitting at bible study and found myself asking the same question. Normally we pray for comfort for the sick for health for ourselves... and then I got to thinking later that night -- how often do we PRAY for salvation? How often do we pray to be refined to seek more of Father. We skip the important things.

I can only speak for myself... we skip those importantly things partly because we're trained to make certain prayer requests for aunt jo's brother's mother-in-law's pet cat. And another reason... praying the deep prayers, praying to be refined... that's scary.

Originally in this post I was going to point out some great quotes by some modern-day theologians, followed by scripture. But John 5:19 keeps coming to my mind. "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself, he can only see what he sees his Father doing." -John 5:19. As I thumb through some literature I was given on prayer I find I am rereading the verse over and over and eventually notice commentary..... So what does that have to do with anything? I want to listen to Father. Before telling him what I want him to do, I want to open my eyes to what he's already doing. I want to know what Father is up to in the lives of people I see every day. I don't want to hand Christ a wish-list. I want to pray in the power of faith... and the courage of hope.

I often say that serving overseas and serving here is the exact same... and when it comes down to it.. YES it is. The same needs, the same God, we should have the same focus. But the truth of every this is.. no, I, personally don't. I'm comfortable here. I know the language. I have friends. I become blind. Blind to their needs, blind to what Father is doing. I want to have his eyes. I want to have his ears.

While writing this I was reminded of two years ago when Father spoke to me so much truth... As i re-read the entry I found the need to share it. Not necessarily for others to be inspired, but for myself to see where i've been, to remember the faitfulness of father and move forward, knowing that i serve the same God - and to him, time or place isn't a factor or element.

July 19, 2007
My feet finally have the 'chaco' (teva b/c i am 'uncool') tan lines, except they aren't tan lines at all- they are DIRT lines. Today I prayer walked. For the first time, I felt the call to walk until I could no longer walk, to pray to my Father, Creator, life changer. What I am continuing to learn is that prayer doesn't change God and his plans, yet it changes me and my heart and that Father hears our prayers and is faithful to answer them. I feel like i can see God drawing me closer and closer to him. Today I felt my heart break for all those around-- believers, non. I was broken ruined and at no point did I long to stop praying. At 5:00n p.m. i felt the need to pray earnestly for salvation. Specifically. Later, I found out that at that time, someone at the Uni became a believer. That is and only is Father. God has shown me things today that I can't put words to. He has allowed me to cry out to him in a park that he rarely hears worship from-- a part of the park that he is definitely in, but where I long for his church to be planted. My prayer is that I would so decrease and he would so increase that it would only be his prayers, his words, essentially HIM praying to himself for HIS people. "He is mercy, he is power, he is love and he is God."

Today Father allowed me to see things of this world that brought me to tears. Father IS beyond all expression and I truly cannot think that high. I serve a God who is NOT served by human hands- as if he needed anything. SO many times I find myself thankful that even though I am un-needed by my Savior, I am wanted by him, but today I am realizing that i TRULY do want to worship this God, even if he NEVER needs me. If he NEVER would use my self, prideful self, I STILL want to serve him. Why he calls me chosen and why he's unashamed to claim me as his own, i will NEVER known or understand. I WANT to be his. I WANT to come to him, broken and useless, and I long for him to mold my heart-- I long to pray his prayers, and dream his dreams and love with his love. I no longer want ME. I want to so abide in Christ that I truly am the aroma of him. I want to have ONE passion. I want to love with the love of a savior and I don't want my life to be one simply of emotional highs. I want it to be one that is HARD, one where i do feel spent and worn out. I want my feet to smell, I want them to hurt and have dirt lines. I want to find the same Joy I find on the "clean" days, on the days that are dirty and rough and draining, and only in Christ do I want to find my rst. My life is a journey. I love that. I love that I can be real and vulnerable to those around me. I'm glad I can be broken. Many days I DO deny Christ and cling to disobedience. I want to stop that. I know there will be more, i know there will be days i'm not obedient and I will fall short, but I long to strive to abide in him DAILY. Christ called out, he cried out in John 12 for his people to look and SEE. He is LIGHT and he's CRYING OUT!! for us to understand!- Even now. I want eyes to see. I want them to have ears to hear. I want Father to heal this land, to heal our hearts, my heart, the hearts of all the people I come into contact with.

<3

2009-06-17T17:13:00.001+02:00

you know, we will never understand God. I love that. Sure I guess it can be frustrating, but his ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts higher than our thoughts. - I love that.

2009-06-09T17:24:00.001+02:00

Interesting

2009-06-03T21:47:00.001+02:00

thought this was interesting
http://www.joshharris.com/2009/05/should_we_use_twitter_during_c.php

Lessons learned

2009-06-01T22:20:00.002+02:00

Really, it has been forever since I made a real blog entry. I guess my 'interest' is dying out, either that or any and all writing skills have leaked to the newspaper world. Yeah; that's probably it. ;-)

This weekend, I learned a few things.... God is my home. He truly is; and I learned that through experiences, through seeing old friends and church members at a wedding. God is my home. Not past experiences, not the Dallas area, not San Angelo or Hamburg or Japan. God. I was also reminded that HIS testimony is greater than my own.

For the first time I saw in light what humility, true humility looks like. Areas in my life that I need to step aside from my pride and worship Father... even when I don't know what I'm doing... because, God is my home. He is who I serve, he is who I worship.

I was painted a picture of what it looks like to come to Christ and receive his kingdom like a child. I also learned that my words and my actions affect others deeply. And thus, I need to walk in Father every second.

quick thought

2009-05-28T21:46:00.001+02:00

read something interesting today; about how Father calls us to be present in our discomfort.

Matthew 18... “When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.’ Another disciple said to him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ But Jesus told him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”’

definitely something i sometimes fail to do.

Now from his breast into his eyes the ache
of longing mounted, and he wept at last,
his dear wife, clear and faithful, in his arms,
longed for as the sunwarmed earth is longed for by a swimmer
spent in rough water where his ship went down
under Poseidon's blows, gale winds and tons of sea.
Few men can keep alive through a big surf
to crawl, clotted with brine, on kindly beaches
in joy, in joy, knowing the abyss behind;
and so she too rejoiced, her gaze upon her husband,
her white arms round him pressed as though forever.
- from The Odyssey
HOMER

Robert Frost was a man of good words.

2009-05-22T22:00:00.001+02:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

My Intern Blog...for school...

2009-05-19T17:59:00.001+02:00

lifeasareporter.wordpress.com

2009-05-19T00:48:00.001+02:00

first day working at a "real" newspaper. It was way super overwhelming.

2009-05-15T03:25:00.001+02:00

Finals

2009-05-11T16:23:00.002+02:00

Finals Week is always so difficult. It's difficult to focus on studying, It's difficult to think about now... because your mind is in the future, or at least mine is. I want to focus on now so badly, because I'm nervous about this summer. I don't want it to come. I'm not ready to work or even intern in the real world; or figure out how I am going to make ends meet month to month. I feel so misunderstood lately, somethign I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off and move forward, rather than worrying about things.

Last night I found myself in tears... tears that came because I don't fear my own death, but I fear others dying-- and not knowing Christ. My biggest fear is cultural Christianity. So many think they are 'Christians,' but don't know and understand the God they claim to serve.... and last night I began to feel Paul's cry of wishing he could give up his own salvation for someone else...

Lara <3

interesting

2009-05-05T22:25:00.000+02:00

Red-Hot Redheads: Cool Facts About Carrot Tops
By Allison Ford (View Profile)

We’ve all heard that blondes are dumb, brunettes are smart and dependable, and that curly-haired women are unhinged, but of all the hair stereotypes out there, no one suffers more injustice than redheads do. Throughout history, they’ve been subjected to discrimination and fearful prejudice, being viewed as untrustworthy, mischievous, temperamental, and lustful. In ancient Egypt, red hair was seen as so unlucky, red-haired girls were burned alive. According to Greek myths, redheads turn into vampires when they die. It’s even said that redheads get stung by bees more often. Ouch!

It can be hard to grow up with red hair, constantly getting called names like “ginger” and “carrot top.” Having the rarest hair color might make a redhead feel awkward, but it turns out that there are some special attributes that make them pretty unique. Maybe they’re the ones who have more fun. At the very least, their hair doesn’t go gray.

The Rarity of Red
In the late 1990s, scientists discovered that gene mutation causes red headedness. Specifically, it’s a variant of the melanocortin 1 receptor (MC1R), one of the key proteins that determines hair and skin color. The mutated gene is recessive, so in order for someone to have red hair, she has to inherit two copies of the gene, one from each parent. Lots of people, especially those with Northern European ancestry, carry one copy of MC1R, but relatively few carry the two copies required for flaming tresses. Red hair can occur in any ethnicity, but the greatest concentration of redheads originates in Northern Europe, near the U.K. Scotland has the highest percentage of natural redheads, with 13 percent and Ireland is a close second, with 10 percent. Only about 2 percent of people in the United States have naturally red hair.

If red hair is so rare, why does it occur so often in the same geographic area? Some biologists think that it’s an evolutionary adaptation. In cold and dark climates, fair coloring lets the skin absorb more light, which encourages the body to retain heat and produce more vitamin D. Also, for most of human history, people didn’t stray very far from the place where they were born and intermarried with people with similar genetic traits. When there were plenty of people carrying the gene, their children were very likely to get two copies of the mutated MC1R. Now that people migrate more, carriers of MC1R are more likely to intermarry with non-carriers. That’s good for genetic diversity, but maybe not so good for the survival of redheads in general.

For the past few years, there’s been a rumor that redheads are going extinct, but that’s not exactly true. Because of intermarriage, the numbers are declining, but there will always be redheads, because there will always be carriers of the MC1R gene. It might be less likely that one carrier will meet another and have redheaded children, but it’s always a possibility. In fact, it’s not so far-fetched to imagine a future where everyone knows exactly what’s in his or her genome, and MC1R carriers can choose to have children with fellow carriers, maximizing the likelihood that their children will have red hair.

A Redheaded “Knockout?”
The mutated MC1R gene has some other surprising effects. Although doctors and medical practitioners have long speculated that redheads were harder to sedate, a recent study from the University of Louisville determined that redheads really do require more anesthesia during surgery.

The researchers ran an experiment where they put women under sedation, and then tested their response to pain. The redheaded patients required 20 to 30 percent more anesthetic than other women to achieve the same level of sedation. Scientists at the university also tried to replicate the experiment with mice, and found that animals with a MC1R mutation required more sedation, too. They theorize that the mutated gene somehow has implications beyond hair color, and perhaps affects hormones or enzymes involved in our neurological system.

The Siren Song of Red Hair
Throughout history, redheads have been mistrusted and maligned. In medieval Europe, the infamous witch-hunting manual, Malleus Maleficarum, instructed that red hair and green eyes were marks of a witch, as were freckles, which redheads tend to have aplenty. This belief might have stemmed from the general consensus that redheads were evil, wanton, and hot-tempered. In the Bible, Mary Magdalene and Judas Iscariot are often portrayed as redheads, as was Lilith, Adam’s first wife who insisted on sexual equality. Even Jonathan Swift, in his 1726 classic Gulliver’s Travels, characterized redheads as being wanton and promiscuous.

There might actually be some truth to the myth of the lustful redhead. A recent study by a sex researcher in Hamburg, Germany found that women with red hair had sex more often. Another survey in England duplicated those findings, and reported that redheads had sex an average of three times per week, compared to twice per week for blondes and brunettes. For these studies, it didn’t matter whether the women’s hair was naturally red or Natural Instincts. Of all the women who color their hair, 30 percent choose to become redheads—more than the 27 percent who go brunette and the 26 percent who go blonde. Some scientists theorize that these women are capitalizing on the perception of the fiery redhead to signal to men that they are looking for partners.

Even if redheads do have to endure a lifetime of sunburns and being called “ginger,” their hair doesn’t just make them stand out, it makes them incredibly unique. Some famous fiery redheads include Queen Elizabeth I, Galileo, Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon, and Vincent Van Gogh. More recent redheads include comedienne Lucille Ball and birth control pioneer Margaret Sanger. Not exactly a bad crowd to be associated with, if you ask me. If this is the company that redheads keep, then I’m off to the salon.

First published April 2009

want to be

2009-05-05T21:35:00.000+02:00

sensitive.

Reagan

2009-05-02T00:06:00.001+02:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

2009-05-01T22:55:00.001+02:00

Psalm 128
A song of ascents.
1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD,
who walk in his ways.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your sons will be like olive shoots
around your table.

4 Thus is the man blessed
who fears the LORD.

5 May the LORD bless you from Zion
all the days of your life;
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,

6 and may you live to see your children's children.
Peace be upon Israel.

Do you know why it's hard? Because when it's hard, then we understand the gosepl; when it's hard we walk in humility and when it's hard, we'll be dependent on God. - MC

about me

2009-05-01T00:25:00.001+02:00

found these pictures when i looked up the answers to the following questions...

The Questions:
1. What is your name? Lara
2. What is your favorite food? Iranian (persian) food
3. What is your favorite color? brown
4. Favorite drink? lemonade
5. Dream vacation? Ireland
6. Favorite hobby? newspapers
7. What you want to be when you grow up? teacher
8. What's one thing you call valuable on this earth? grace
9. One word to describe you? sinner

2009-04-28T21:28:00.000+02:00

Open publication - Free publishing - More practice

because I know you guys are so super interested ;-)

2009-04-13T16:25:00.005+02:00

Life has been changing so much lately; but it's not a bad thing. I'm looking forward to this summer and not looking forward to it all in the same breath. I'll be working at the local newspaper, trying to find rides... but all is good; I am confident that everything will work out.

It will be a hard summer in the aspect that I am not overseas... but also because Seth WILL be overseas... It's amazing how fast someone can become your crutch, your comfort... but Father is quick to teach me that I cannot place anything or anyone before him. He's showing me the needs of my friends and how to MORE SO (realistically) view my life this world, my campus, San Angelo with his eyes. I have opportunities in front of me, some I'm afraid to take, because it doesn't 'seem' to fall in line with what I plan to do (such as: taking a teaching job-- but with the chance of leaving to go overseas two years after; i feel horrible for only 'temporarily' filling a position)

So, everything feels like it's up in the air....

anyway here is a photo of me and seth from this weekend (it was Sammy and Tina's BEAUTIFUL wedding...)

Another page :)

2009-04-08T17:23:00.000+02:00

t&l page for my mag

2009-04-07T22:29:00.000+02:00

first page of two page spread

2009-04-03T00:11:00.002+02:00

To be honest; i'm not sure why i'm updating everyone on the production of my 'magazine' but ya know; whatev.. ;-)

----------------

It's amazing how life seems to sometimes spread its wings and take off; while at the same time keeping you grounded. Life is moving on; and I find this worldy thing i do... school, work, internships trying to find rhythm as it dances with my spiritual life.. and then i stop and realize why are the separate? they are one in the same.. Father has placed me where I am for a reason... and he hasn't called me to separate my school/work life from him.. in fact, the exact opposite.

I sometimes think mentioning this is stupid; b/c i know this, we all know this... but reminders are nice.

--- ;-)

I already have a wedding dressed picked out.. the wedding should be in ONE year... and I am going to start working at Standard Times (local newspaper) in May.

<3
Lara

2009-04-01T20:50:00.003+02:00

I was inspired by something a friend put on his face book today; it was a lone picture of someone he had met abroad... a person who literally has no one in this world... and my heart was broken from a short explanation and a lone picture.

I want to be family to the lonely. I want others to know Christ and I want to be made available. I long for more knowledge of the word, but also an obedient heart.

<3

2009-03-31T21:35:00.003+02:00

also; i'm getting married to Seth Chomout in one year!!!!!!

this is my best friend

2009-03-13T00:03:00.001+01:00

i love her <3>

she gets married in 4 months

2009-03-10T19:18:00.003+01:00

Oh gosh; it's so difficult to believe next week is Spring Break. I sound like every other year when I comment about how it feels the semester only just began and that time is flying faster than almost light itself. As far as updating everyone on my life, it's been so long since I've done that that I'm not even sure who to update anymore. If you spend time around me, you know I'm dating Seth but if you don't you probably have no clue-- simply because the girl who used to be so well at keeping up with people, hasn't kept up with anyone in almost a year's time.
Seth doesn't like it when I say this, but I honestly don't believe I deserve him. He has a heart that is genuine and a sensitivity toward me and also toward Father that is something I wish everyone could know.

Many know that I am still working for the campus newspaper-- and I'm still learning very genuine lessons working there-- this semester has brought on some new challenges; but I'm learning how to keep my 'work life' at work and allowing myself to enjoy the time I have been given away from the school campus/the office. My classes are enjoyable; I do have to study quite often, but I'm learning and I can sense that in myself. From Graphics and Layout to Developing and Designing a magazine, to learning how to be a teacher. I just started my field experience and "pre-student teaching" I enjoy it so much. There are times when I wonder what I've gotten myself into; that I am not cut out for anything I'm studying, be it the journalism world; the world of German or even teaching. I many times succumb to my negative self-talk of claiming that I'm not enough and will never amount to anything. I compare myself quite often to my peers, a quality about myself I need to change.
I will soon start an internship but the location of where has yet to be determined; I'm thinking I will know in the next couple of weeks though. Not knowing is uncomfortable and hard, but it's a lesson in and of itself.
I recently became a member at PaulAnn Baptist church, and it's nice to feel I can say (for the first time in four years) that I have a church home. Father is placing people in my life and around me whether it is at church or school to encourage me and to constantly help me refocus on him.

That's the short version I guess; but I'm growing- things are changing, but they always are.

xoxo

Lara

2009-02-27T00:12:00.000+01:00

some times I feel like the 'path' i've chosen as far as studying, the subject and the idea of teaching is not something i'll be great at...

*sigh*

but then I learn to suck it up and keep going... because father knows the plans he has for me :)

~Lara

thought provoking for those who don't think

2009-02-17T22:31:00.001+01:00

“How fortunate for those in power that the people don’t think.” - Hitler, Mein Kampf.

..perhaps THAT will make you think?
Maybe? !!?!?!

work in progress

2009-02-17T21:40:00.002+01:00

the photo is distorted, as I am waiting for one that is the original size.

<3

it's for my magazine class. Once i have the whole magazine finished i'm giving it to iWit... for fun. They'll probably think i'm crazy and weird, but that's fine, caaause i am.

love ya!
tschuessi

breathe deeply

2009-02-13T05:02:00.002+01:00

do you remember audio blogs? you could call on your cell phone? that was amazing.

and kind of weird.

floppy disks are becoming obsolete.

my teacher used the smart board for the first time today (finally)

I have 20 podcasts i need to listen to.

Something I read today and liked:

The Wild Pursuit
Relationships are the crux of life. They are what make us come alive, in fact. We only know ourselves in the context of relationships. Still, we tend to ignore the most important relationship we have: our relationship with God through Christ. Sure, we pray and read our Bible, we go to church and sing the songs—but do we connect with God? Do we even realize that relating to us is His desire? Or is He just a Mr. Fix-it to us? One of the most beautiful pictures in the Bible of God and His people is that of a husband and wife. We must embrace the fact that He is our Bridegroom and we are His bride. God pursues us as a man pursues a woman. He says, “‘Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her … In that day,’ declares the Lord, ‘you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master’” (Hosea 2:14-16, TNIV).

Thus begins the passionate pursuit of God after the one He loves. Jesus told Martha that the one needful thing was to sit at His feet (Luke 10:38-42). We must begin here. If we try to start with a formula or with service or with coming to God only to get something, we will find ourselves dry and thirsty. Why? Because we were made for fellowship with Him. We were not made to get what we want from Him and then go on with life while He waits for us to run out of steam.

C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, “A car is made to run on gasoline, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other.”

Few of us have experienced God in the facets of His fullness. He’s Father, or He’s Sovereign God, or He’s Provider, or He’s Friend, or He’s Healer. But is He Father and Sovereign God and Provider and Friend and Healer? Yes, all this and more!

God is never only one thing. He is never just God. He is never just Lover. He is never just Judge or just Warrior. He is All. He is I AM, and He is calling us to embrace the reality of what that means for us. It is a wonderful thing to embark on a journey of discovering and receiving all of who God is and will be for you and in you. But it is also terrifying.

Father breathes life into monday morning

2009-02-09T16:57:00.003+01:00

Jeremiah 1

"Do not say, 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the LORD.”

"…Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant."

also this was my fave song over the break at The Village

today

2009-02-03T21:51:00.001+01:00

i made this today.

2009-01-29T17:28:00.001+01:00

I wrote this. tada.

2009-01-27T21:20:00.002+01:00

In an article from a May 2001 issue of Education Week, Freda Schwartz, a high school English and journalism teacher, explained the importance of literacy and teaching journalism in American schools. Schwartz begins the article, titled Reading, ‘Riting, Reacting, the same way she begins her classes, with a thought provoking quote. “These give rise to discussion that take my students beyond the apparent horizons of literature we explore,” Schwartz said. The quote she cited for the article, and continues to use in discussion with her students is one written by Adolph Hitler in Mein Kampf: “How fortunate for those in power that the people don’t think.”

Schwartz explains that when she attended school, the categories of media were easy to identify, as there were typically only three: print, broadcast and film media. Print media, at the time, dominated the field, thus, literacy was an ‘absolute necessity.’ Today, however; there seems to be a decline in the public school curriculum regarding the ‘priority status of literacy’ (Schwartz 41). Ironic, Schwartz explains, while in today’s age, the need for literacy is much more important with the new and continuing change in media is so prevalent. Not only are there typically only three categories of media, but now, there are too many to count, it has become a ‘lightning-fast delivery of a vastly broader and broader based body of text.’ (41) “If anything,” Schwartz said, “our students need to be more literate than before, m ore proficient at deciphering, digesting, and interpreting text, and more proficient at creating it.”

In many schools, journalism is not a fully funded elective course (41), yet as Schwartz points out, the ‘skills taught in a journalism course involving the actual production of a publication are far too valuable to marginalize; just the necessity to learn editing skills makes such programming worth any funds allocated for it.’ (41) Also as pointed out in the article, students should not only be taught the skills of literacy in the class room, which in turn create thought provoked writing, but should also be taught integrity and the difference between fact and opinion. “If the pen is mightier than the sword,” Schwartz said, “why have we abandoned our obligation to teach our youths to appreciate that might?”

Monday full of thoughts

2009-01-26T16:20:00.003+01:00

You know, life can change so fast... one second it's one way and the next everything has changed. This isn't quite a new concept, but sometimes that change hits us slowly and sometimes it hits us in a matter of seconds. Your heart hurts, your face feels hot, you don't know what to think much less how to think. But life... is what you make it, I suppose. I have been given life, a life that I'm not sure how I deserve it. Father has restored the time of hurt, yet many times I continue to try to learn lessons from a lesson or experience that is over and done with. I haven't learned the lesson of 'moving on.' but I feel this past week and this past weekend have been some significant steps forward in the right direction.

There are still hurts in my life, hurts that I'm not who I feel others need or want me to be, and then it hurts because I find that I'm trying to live for men rather than for Father. The lesson of simply living for Christ is one I'll learn constantly, I think... so that means, I must DAILY shed myself of my fears, of my selfsishness, of my desires, and walk through the gates and focus fully on Father. It's hard sometimes.. Life gets busy, I feel tired, sick, stressed and frustrated, effort to read the word or dwell in the things I need to is hard, especially when I feel I should be studying for a class... so how do I make my priorties a priority? How do I learn to live this semi-adult life while keeping Father first?

It's the age-old question, and I definitely don't have the answer... but I know that Father is calling me to him... and I must follow, and be obedient. Here's the thing.. is that in the midst of 'not knowing the answer' I know all the right answers, yet how to step out and act on those answers, that's the hard part.

I long to be humbled, to be broken, to see with Father's eyes, love with his heart, hear with his ears. And I long to not just say that and have it sound ideal, but I want that... in what is reality. How ironic that bible gateway's verse of the day is James 4:10, humble yourselves before the Lord...

__________________

Also, Seth and I were talking yesterday on the way home from church about how it is really somewhat impossible to share the gospel soley through actions.... because the story of Christ requires more than actions, it requires words... Actions can lead to conversation, sure, but it is the conversation.. that leads to the telling of the gospel.

So.. are we sharing the gospel?

-Lara Nichole

i go to school.

2009-01-20T22:23:00.003+01:00

today was my first day back to school.

I think so far my favorite class is.... to be determined.

educational psychology seems pretty interesting.

2009-01-14T21:00:00.001+01:00

"Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean; wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones you have broken my rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners shall be converted to You." Psalm 51:7-13

january 10

2009-01-11T02:41:00.007+01:00

I resolve to be me, to be the person who I was created to be... to live in now, to not live in the past, to not live in the future... to worship my father with my mind, heart, soul and body....and i truly mean it..

hello internet

2009-01-06T02:41:00.002+01:00

I serve the God who hears, I worship the God who sees me... all of us.He inclines his ear to hear.

i like film cameras.

i dislike that film is so difficult to find now... and that the boy at target doesn't know what film IS... what?!

I like the words to "The more I seek You." I may have Laura sing that at my hypothetical wedding. Also Maurice is going to be a bridesmaid. He and I discussed it today. okay it's not a bridesmaid but we're going to figure it out.

today I went to the dentist. tomorrow I am going to david's bridal, wednesday I'm going to the eye doctor. thursday i go.. HOME.

2009-01-02T07:02:00.002+01:00

I like Bethany Dillon's version of Everlasting God.

I feel like Christ is silencing me. In more than one way. I lost my voice and have been given a temporary voice... a voice that is not my own... (i am sick..) but I very much feel like John's father Zachariah. Perhaps... father is teaching me obedience... we'll see...

life feels like it's changing a lot. I have no clue what tomorrow holds, but in ways it's exciting.

guten rutsch

2009-01-01T19:16:00.001+01:00

it's 2009.

Dare I say it, but I'm very glad 2008 is over. It was probably the strangest (but needed) year of my life. I don't really want to relive it.

What is my heart saying?

2008-12-30T05:44:00.002+01:00

three years ago, every single day I was having conversations with girls who I had never met. Conversations on the phone about Father, about the upcoming summer, about what was to take place, about those who were seeking and longing to know more, but didn't know how or where to begin... about Germany.. and about praying to see FATHER in the "fatherland." I will never forget sitting outside on the grass, up against the brick of the house talking to Jenn. Talking about life, about pains, about joys. Laughing with a beautiful Gina on the phone... I knew Jesus was in their lives fervently, planting his heart into theirs... replacing our hearts, with his...so where does this lead, how does this play into today? I heard and felt and saw the heart of Father in them... my prayer that year was that my longing for Japan, my wants which were not bad, and biblical based, would be replaced with the longing and the heart of Father.

So tonight, I have felt a tug at my heart. My prayer that my heart would continue to match up with Father's. I have many passions... cut up my heart into sections, each section defining a passion, you'd have a million pieces... so imagine how i feel as I feel those millions and millions of longings pulling at me, tugging at me. "Where do I go, father? You are my home, you are my deepest longing... where you lead, THERE I will follow." So as I am being called, I pray that all those passions become intertwined into the one heart they belong to.. that my heart is no longer the heart of Lara Johnson, but Father's heart.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. - psalm 62:8

So, I want to learn to love.
I want to learn to love with the love of a savior.
I want to learn to love with HIS heart.
I want to decrease, so he may increase.
Less of me.

<3

Friday after Christmas thoughts

2008-12-27T05:40:00.018+01:00

Seen glory results in faith.

It's a thought I've been mulling over, the past few hours. See, the thing is this: I have never seen Jesus. Literally, I suppose not. But I've seen him, I've seen Christ, I've seen his glory, and constantly Father reveals himself, his son, which once seen and felt and heard with my self, with my senses, I draw near to him, this produces faith. As more of Christ is revealed to me, whether through reading the word, through the experiences he places me in. Father gives eyes to see, ears to hear. To see who? to hear who? Him. His glory, brings us to faith.

I like the thought.

Also, I felt like quite the idiot, but yesterday for the first time i caught the symbolism of Christ dying on a tree. Sin was brought into the world through a tree (Adam and Eve ate fruit from tree of life) and sin was paid for when Christ died on the 'tree.'

Now for Photos I have found on my parents' computer

a photo from meg's wedding and i look hilarious in the background and a photo o fme and daddy from Hamburg...

after looking at photos, i just want to go. Not to germany, not to a certain place, just go. To cherish and treasure every relationship that I have been strategically placed in. To pour out in pr, to be intentional, to know what Father is calling me to, to have Father be my focus and to be all things to all people.

xx

for your viewing entertainment:

Er kommt aus Hannover, und er ist ganz wunderbar. :) Ich liebe Olli Pocher and watch this even if you don't know german, because the language is SO GORGEOUS... give it a chance! Oliver pocher is in one of my favorite German movies, and I own it, so if you learn the language, your reward is watching it with me.... :) That's to all my readers. Olli is a comedian, and he is teaching kindergarten in this episode. My favorite part is at the end when the kid is sad and he's trying to figure out what's wrong. Dang, i love German, it's beautiful. also i'm obviously tired and need to go to sleep b/c i'm rambling

I resort to writing

2008-12-20T03:12:00.002+01:00

I don't know how to drive. I am 22 years old and I don't know how to drive, and I need to learn, but there is something in me that doesn't want to, but something in me that becomes so angry when I realise how much of a fool I feel when I can't do things on my own, when other people my age have children and families and a life. I have a life, and life is much different when I am living in other places... and simply put: i need to get over whatever it is and I need to learn to drive.

Father is hitting me hard tonight and it hurts, a lot. I find in myself a want for more and a cluelessness in how to fulfill that. I want more.

I don't know where to start all the time. I don't know how to express myself, and I just want... peace. I want comfort.

Bethany Dillon's words for some reason are ringing in my ears...

I've been him, and I've been her
Covered up under the dirt
I want to get out
I want to be free
And know where I'm going

Thought I belonged
But I know I don't
Thought I had love
But it is not enough
An aching inside speaking to me
How could I feel like this
So aimless

----

so parts of me feels a bit irrational... but Christ is my aim, and I want to draw toward and seek him.

also i took this from billy v's blog, but i love Celebration of Discipline and it reminded me of things

Hsu closes this chapter by referencing 10 guidelines for practicing simplicity from Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. Here are a few:
1. Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.
2. Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.
3. Develop a habit of giving things away.
4. Learn to enjoy things without owning them. (library books, as i believe bill v suggested)
5. Develop a deeper appreciation for God’s creation.
6. Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.
7. Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God.

Christmas Post

2008-12-19T03:30:00.003+01:00

I hung out with the Moores at the nursing home last night. As every time, Father taught me in ways i never even expected.

So much of me wants to go into detail, but I feel the beauty isn't in the description of the place, or the events, yet the simplicity of it all, exclaims the greatness and the beauty of our God.

Lately, I have been infatuated with histories of carols, due to a book I got from Sams Club (Then Sings my Soul)

One in particular is I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day...
read this history:

The ravages of the war directly inspired another carol, "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," which was penned by Maine native Henry Wadsworth Longfellow around 1862. The sadness of this song reflects Longfellow's grief over the 1861 death of his second wife (burned to death at home when candles ignited her clothing), his bitter opposition to the war, and the sorrow of his son Charles having been gravely injured in battle. The poet's staunch Yankee views also show through in the original version of the text, from which three particularly partisan stanzas were dropped when the poem was set to music in 1872.

The excised stanzas include such lines as "Then from each black, accursed mouth / The cannon thundered in the South" and "It was as if an earthquake rent / The hearth-stones of a continent." Retained, however, were the following two poignant passages:

"'There is not peace on earth,' I said
'For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men"

and

"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep,
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.'"

Story behind the photo(s)

2008-12-16T14:14:00.005+01:00

This morning has been full of Germany memories. And i kind of miss it. (of course)

I had just finished crying, and sara took my photo at Balzac. But even though I had just cried, this is one of my favorite memories, because sara was there for me and made me laugh so hard, while crying so hard... and for some reason i love that..

My first time to make sushi in Hamburg, Germany:

Our 50millionth visit to the landesmuseum :-) I absolutely love this photo

I want to be excited as Paul was excited.

2008-12-15T22:18:00.004+01:00

I want to know Christ more. I want to experience him more. In the past weeks my life has been turned upside down in many good ways. I find myself... as who I used to be: excited. Excited about the unexpected-ness of Father... about now, about the future. About HIM. I'm excited about Christ, and as Colby Ivey always would say while in Japan, "I'm so excited." ... So i suppose excitement is the theme of this post.

That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are at Rome.- Paul, Romans 1

Father has been using this song in my life lately:

Falling down upon our knees
Sharing now in common shame
We have sought security
Not the cross that bears Your name
Fences guard our hearts and homes
Comfort sings a siren tune
We’re a valley of dry bones
Lead us back to life in You

Lord we fall upon our knees
We have shunned the weak and poor
Worshipped beauty, courted kings
And the things their gold affords
Prayed for those we’d like to know
Favor sings a siren tune
We’ve become a talent show
Lead us back to life in You

You have caused the blind to see
We have blinded him again
With our man-made laws and creeds
Eager, ready to condemn
Now we plead before Your throne
Power sings a siren tune
We’ve been throwing heavy stones
Lead us back to life in You

We’re a valley of dry bones
Lead us back to life in You
We’ve become a talent show
Lead us back to life in You
We’ve been throwing heavy stones
Lead us back to life in You

please visit my new favorite worship band's virb and listen to them:
http://www.virb.com/sojournmusic

also i love this movie:

I will probably throw up soon

2008-12-08T16:37:00.003+01:00

I feel horribly sick. I'm not exactly sure why, although I think it has to do with a lack of rest, not eating well, and stress from exams and my thoughts/worries.

My mind keeps tracing back to a year ago, and how I spent the holidays. The year in Germany feels like a dream. I don't talk about it much, and when I do it's a small memory here and there, but to be honest, that year is the one year my life was shaped, formed and molded. My heart grew to love, it grew to hate. I fell and I stood back up, and I grew up in Germany. Don't get me wrong... I still have a lot of growing up to do.

I was once told by Brandon Mclean that I was too mature for my age. Too mature in my thoughts, and my understanding and passion for Father... He told me it was a good thing, but probably why I hurt when others didn't understand, or care to understand. I'm not sure why I think the way I do, why I went home crying on Sundays during high school because no one cared or understood the words that were read from the Bible or the true love and faith of Father. At the beginning of the semester I recieved a phone call from (one of)my favorite couple(s), Krystle and Brent.. and Krystle pointed out that she was recently wondering why she didn't understand the things I would talk about in Sunday School during High School and why she was just now beginnign to understand those things. She said she admired me. I mention this because I don't understand... I say all this because I'm trying to work it out. What makes me so different? and am I really different? I honestly 100 percent believe that I have a capability of understanding things with my mind and with my head but it is harder for me to act out, to understand things with my heart and simply GO.

When I was overseas it was incredibly hard for me to share my life with others. With believers, sure... sharing life was easy. People constantly noticed my heart for discipleship, for helping others understand what Father is calling us to do, and people immediately noticed my heart for worship... but there were weeks when I would never see the chance, or take the chance, to share my story or my faith. I was damaged. My heart was confused. How could I say that this is what we're supposed to do, while at the same time I can't share Christ the way I would like to. I was challenged to learn to live life with nonbelievers once I got home. I was instructed to find a church home, but to stay away from Christian clubs on campus, mainly because i would quickly find myself in a Christian bubble... unable to learn life with nonbelievers. Living overseas doesn't really equal having constant believers around. On the way to San Angelo in August of 2006, this was reinfored, as I listened to Afshin say "If our prime directive was to become saved, wouldn't we simply go to heaven after we accepted Christ... we obviously are here for something else." I wanted to learn life. And San Angelo brought that to me.... and really prepared me for a year abroad.

I've been given friendships overseas, Betti, Lena, Jana, Jessica, The S family, Park, Bogdan, and more. He has set a passion in my heart for them, for their life and their culture, and the year overseas put me in situations that were relationship built and it was life. We sat over coffee/dinner discussing philosophy and faith. We laughed, we shopped, we got to know each other.... and I shared my life, and my story. Last Christmas, we sat in the warmth of a german house, with no germans around, but we read Luke. I somehow became fluent in German, was able to read the story and talk about my faith. We played music, we laughed, we drank wassel :-) <3 It was glorious.

So this Christmas, I remember that. And my prayer is that the family remembers the story of Christ during this season, remembers the festivities, and yearns and longs to seek out Christ.

That's my heart's cry. I want them to know, and I love them, and I really want to sit with them and drink tea and speak our foreigner's german. right now, please.

this is a blog.

2008-12-08T00:44:00.006+01:00

Alison brought up a good point the other day.

A football player jumps at any chance to play football. He may play for a certain team, but if someone says hey let's go play out in the yard, he is not going to say, no way man i can only play with my team. To some extent the same is of our faith... and where we are called to go. We are called no matter where we are to tell, to go. To "play" in the arena God has called us to, but if he calls us to go to Japan/Germany for a few weeks, we should go... God may call us to represent him there a bit longer than a few weeks... maybe a few years, maybe our lives, but where we are... that's where we're to play. We may be called to a certain place, but if we are given the opportunity to go overseas or share our faith where we are... Why wait? We're not called to a certain place. We're called to share our faith..... The harvest is here. Play ball. (heh)

---- she says it a lot better, they were her original thoughts.

I used to think the idea of sitting in the lap of Christ was the corniest idea ever, because God is so much more than that. But today, we were singing 'come ye sinner, weak and weary, come ye wounded, sick and sore.... i will arise and go to Jesus...he will embrace me in his arms" and I realised how uncorny that thought can be. And I realised that Father has been teaching me that over the past 17 months.

There's a lot more learning and a lot more knowledge with my heart that I now understand, and it is very hard to portray through this certain blog post.

---------

let's just say
that there is no one like our God and i'm infatuated and in love with him.

a... day... o f thoughts

2008-12-03T19:44:00.000+01:00

thoughts lara thinks while sitting in class

thought number one:

I love to pray. I don't do it often enough, but I love to pray. I have seen and felt and been a witness to the power of prayer, and I love being drawn to pray.

So, I say that to say this... when it comes to reading the word, my brain and mind has been settling in on 2nd Corinthians for the past two weeks. As I read I find myself drawn to prayer. I find myself literally overwhelmed by the words of Paul. I want to pray to him, about him, to know him. I want to pray for others, for nations, for this campus, for my friends, for those i'm close to, and for faces i've only seen once, and for faces i've never seen. I want to pray that I am that letter of Christ, written not with ink but with the spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts. I want to pray that I... we... find our sufficiency from God, because that is where it comes from and to know that with not only our heads but our hearts... and to pray for understanding that because of Christ we can come to God with unveiled faces... these aren't new things for me to hear or to read but I'm drawn to pray this and so much more... I'm only to the 3rd chapter in 2nd Corinthians and I have even skipped over important parts.... But here is where I struggle I have been drawn to pray, I have been called to pray, and I long to abide in Christ and draw toward him... yet I read this and I say 'Oh THIS is good!' But i haven't prayed. I haven't obeyed that sense of drawing.... and I want that to change.

thought number two:

I decided today, that I want all my dreams to come true. Okay, so that seems like a stupid decision, because who doesn't want their dreams to come true. So rephrasing this would mean: Today I decided, that all my dreams will come true. I'm very excited, as this means I will be living in Ireland. I will also be living in Japan and perhaps Norway (i haven't decided if this is a dream of mine yet... just a thought). I will also visit Lithuania and hang out with Rasmina (I did not tag her in this because she cannot speak English...)This also means I will have a happy life, in which Father gets the glory and not myself. I will also get married and have a daughter who's name is Kana Liane. I know dreams change, but my dreams are coming true. And that, Dave, is a fact. What's cool is I have friends who have and continue to help those dreams come true. Thanks, Clyde

thought number three:

Today in physics, we talked about how we cannot know the future because we cannot know the present. I'm pretty sure it was talking about particles... in some form, of which I do not know. But what I do know is that I 100 percent believe is that Father spoke to me in that moment last night when i was studying, and again when during Scott Williams, Ph.D's lecture today. I don't feel like analyzing the thought, because I'm still a bit at a loss for words regarding it.

thought number four:

Today Tina Doyle said this in my photography class: "It is a pain to do anything worthwhile."
Think about it.
I will quote myself. "Pain gives more than it takes."

thought number five:

I am very thankful for life. I am happier than I have been in a really long time, I enjoy what I do and what I will be doing. Last night, this kid who I don't even know, but Seth knows well- Lane, he drives a motorcycle, he's a ginger, and he comes to the biology lab, and he's usually loud and i get him paper... asked us at Hastings "What am I doing with my life?" Seth was encouraging. "You're going to be a doctor." But it was in that moment that I realised something. When we ask that question, it's not really a "what am i going to be doing with my life?" It's a.. what am i living for NOW? Who am I living for? What does my life amount to... RIGHT NOW? We always think we should strive for the future... when we are called to live in the present, of which we are unsure of. OH wait a minute... this goes back to thought number...three. So now, I will close.

Love you guys

xxx
Lara jo

Passions?

2008-12-03T01:30:00.006+01:00

I have new passions. Some trivial, some less so.

As we all know, and as is obvious, since you are reading my BLOG (short for web-log) I love writing. This has always been obvious. I have tons and tons of journals, I always write. I have different 'genres' - the occasional poetry, when that 'girl' who has no name, but is referred to by pronoun only, depending on which case it is... her, or she... or news writing. News writing... i love it. I love seeking out news, I love delivering well-written stories... and I want to do better. Lately I can't get my brain focused on studying for exams because I have my brain stuck in newspapers from other schools, seeing how they do things differently, how they do some things better and I want to strive for that. I want to be better, I want to continue to give the voiceless a voice, and I want to write the stories that matter. I want to write things people long to read, or write something that someone SHOULD care about and when they start reading it, find a new passion for something. I want to pass on passions, I want people to care about the society they live in, the community they live in, the generation they live in.

For example: Obama chose his national security team yesterday. The team whose main initiative is to END THE WAR IN IRAQ!! A lot of people know this, but a lot of people don't know this. This is information students want to know about, but don't take the time to know about it. I can't fix this, but I can put it in a paper that they might pick up and might be affected by... and in doing so, I learn more about my heart, learn more about my passions, learn more about my desires, and my faith.... I love that. Everything is so intertwined.

also, yesterday it was declared as official: The ECONOMY is in RECESSION. officially... important information, friends.

I used to be apathetic, but not so much anymore.
My main initiative is my faith, it comes first... and I feel like Father is drawing me to seek HIS glory in all that I do, and that means kicking ass at telling the news, at telling the stories... at seeking out the news that students NEED and want to hear. Again, I can't get my head out of my papers and my writing and my ideas to focus on studying.... this may be a problem, but in ways it is also exciting. I love having something to be passionate about. I don't feel like I am sitting on the wayside anymore living a life who's heart beats just to stay alive. My heart beats for a passion of telling, of sharing, of educating... and write now I'm called to do that through a student newspaper. My heart now beats to reach out, it's not about me, it's not about my name, but it's about telling... and oh how so many analogies can be pulled from this about my faith.
I WANT THE APATHY to stop... but it's a human struggle, regarding politics, economics, family, relationships, religion and most importantly: true faith

I also, really have a new obsession with WORDLE. It's pretty slick, joe.
www.wordle.net

watch this... I took everything i just wrote and made this... or rather, the Web site made it.

pretty rock star.

Today has been weird, dave.
Not normal. (That would be the definition of weird... right??) But sometimes, that is needed. I learned some things about myself. Learned where my heart is. Learned I know what I believe. Was brought back to a lonely day on a train from dusseldorf to koln, in which i was challenged and in which i failed and cried tears, wishing I knew how to speak... and I learned. :-) I somewhat... love, today.

<3
LaNiJo <3

thoughts that aren't my own

2008-12-02T06:19:00.002+01:00

i read this today at radiant magazine... it was in an email. I guess they aren't always corny articles

The writer of Hebrews tells us that in order for Jesus to help us, and in order for Him to be a high priest who is merciful and faithful, He had to be like us in every respect. Jesus was enveloped by the same environment that envelops us, tempted by the same deceiver that tempts us, and wounded by the same vice that wounds us (yet in all of this, He did not sin). He can help us because He knows the way, and He can be merciful and faithful because He understands. He resonates with our exploited hearts and knows the brokenness of our souls. His empathy is a great and wondrous comfort.

While the eyes of thieves stealthily covet our earthly treasures and while our intimate friends maliciously betray our weary hearts, I am thankful that we have a Helper. One who has already experienced the journey, paved the conquering way, and sweetly embraces us in arms of understanding.

(Matthew 26:14-50; Hebrews 2:16-18; 2 Peter 3:10)

that's what Paul freaking said!

2008-11-29T06:48:00.003+01:00

Since many are boasting in the way the world does, I too will boast. You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face. To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that!

What anyone else dares to boast about—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast about. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they Abraham's descendants? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder....

Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?

If i must boast, i will boast of the things that show my weakness.

2 Corinthians

---------

I would like to go to syria.

Thanks! - Lara

let's go back three years....

2008-11-28T16:12:00.000+01:00

Sophomore Year of College.... we were so cute.

Thanksgiving thoughts?

2008-11-27T00:10:00.002+01:00

I think something I struggle with is the concept that God loves me just as much as he loves the next person. I don’t see myself as better than, and I do view the God I serve as a personal God, but I think ii tend to view my relationship with him extremely different than someone else’s relationship. To an extent that is true. God speaks to me in different ways than he speaks to someone else, he TEACHES me in different ways than someone else, because he has made me different, he has made us all different. Christ knows how he formed me and he knows the best way to speak to me, to grow me, to teach me. So in those ways, my relationship with Christ is different than other people's relationship with him. However, as I read through 2 Corinthians I see, as Paul points out that we are just as much Christ’s as the next believer. I know this, I believe this, I understand this, but sometimes I forget this… not in a selfish way, not in a mean way, not in a conceited way… but when I remember this, I am actually overjoyed. People know this God. He is real, he’s not just mine, but he speaks to everyone, he speaks through us and he grabs our attention. This Christ is REAL….

Also for random sake I love that even though he can see my ugliness, he doesn’t see me as ugly.
Humbling, really.

ALSO Garrett Lively pointed out that Bethlahem means house of bread, so the bread of life was born in a bakery. (ha ha)

yes i do care, yes i know you do not.

2008-11-26T02:19:00.002+01:00

Thanks

2008-11-26T01:37:00.002+01:00

Thanksgiving, although I am spending mine mostly alone until the evening, is a time that I cherish. In the midst of everything going on, it's good to just stop and reflect... to look at what I'm learning and how far I've come.

I've been reading 2 Corinthians. Today, as I read chapter 11 I heard Paul. I heard the tone of his voice I heard his hurt, his longing, his desire for Christ... to be known, his desire for believers to be discipled. He hurts when his brothers/sisters hurt.

I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for that in other believers.

my first proposal

2008-11-22T20:36:00.002+01:00

it's only the cover letter, the rest is a bit boring, so i won't post it.... and i'm mainly posting it so lena can see her cute kitties

I'm a Lab Tech, I'm a geek, let's get over it....:)

2008-11-22T00:37:00.003+01:00

even though i mostly hate it, i love working for information technology because of the people it has brought into my life. <3 <3 (mostly)

i'll post photos later, yo.

Lara jo

someday i will drive one of those. <3

What does it say

2008-11-19T20:01:00.002+01:00

so many are dying to have their eyes read.

a girl I am extremely close to spoke so many words to me through her eyes a couple of weeks ago. She doesn't even know I took into account how her eyes spoke, and I doubt she realises how much she said through one look. Even today that look brings me to tears.

We speak through our eyes... and we rarely take those glances, those looks, those WINDOWS INTO SOULS (yes a bit cliche) into consideration.

I long to speak stories through my eyes.... and speak more with my eyes, with my heart with my actions than with my words.

that is all for today!

bye bye

sometimes memories are a good thing

2008-11-19T02:00:00.001+01:00

There are many places where Paul says "I die everyday," and every time I read this, I am reminded that that is our call. Paul says he counts everything as loss compared to knowing Christ. He claims that even though he comes trembling and in weakness and fear that he wants to know Christ and him crucified and that's it. Through reading the word, specifically 1 Corinthians, Father is showing me daily that I have to give up my hopes and my desires, my wants and my needs. That i can't constantly compare myself, because in doing so it's spiritual suicide. That all past trips, past experiences should be placed aside because I want to know nothing but Christ and him crucified. That's what I learned two weeks ago. Today as I sat over 1 Corinthians and discussed it w/ Stephie that again was taught, but I realized that I can't live for my profit, even my own spiritual profit, but for others. That i should show love to others, not so I feel comfortable or good, but for their hearts. If I am doing things for human reasons, what have I gained. Paul even poses the same question... What are my motivations? Christ's call upon my life, or my desires. Am I living in the flesh, am I trying to live in my own strength, or in the strength of Father... am I living in the spirit?

future of me

2008-11-18T19:27:00.001+01:00

I wrote this on Charles' wall, and i think i inspired myself about my future.

Sorry, Charles that you have to read it twice.

dang, well if possible my plan would be to tag along with you guys ;-)

nah, i have no idea-- finish school, work in the journalism field... but i'd like to see how all my passions become eventually meshed together- for overseas, for people to know father, for seeking out news and sharing, for giving the voiceless a voice, for teaching and for the language of german... interesting combinations, no idea how they will go together, but i'm confident that they will

look here

2008-11-06T15:36:00.002+01:00

I'm admitting it.

I MISS HANNOVER.

I miss everyone... a lot.

hm

2008-11-04T19:54:00.002+01:00

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works I meditate....

The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

(parts of) Psalm 145

------------------------------------

i voted today. pretty neat.

monday

2008-11-03T21:43:00.003+01:00

I am not sure what I long for. Currently. I long for peace and lack of confusion. I long for souls to know the captivating and wonderful love of Father... I long for those things. I know that... what I don't know is what I long for. Where is my life going? What are my plans? What will I be when I grow up? I don't know those things. I've been told I never will-- and that is why again, I have to learn to live one day at a time. One moment as it comes.

There are days I feel invincible and others that I feel weak, tired unsure and unstable. I think this may just be a part of the human condition-- the fact that I won't receive perfection until heaven... that my soul is aching to be with Christ and see him. I don't really know, I kind of just said that because it sounded good... but it's a good theory.

I applied for one internship and I'm not really nervous about it-- mainly because I'm pretty for certain I won't get it-- and that's OK with me. As Dr. Boone said, "you'll never know if you don't apply." That is true. What a genius of a guy.

Lately the idea that c-dawg put into my thoughts has been coming up- The idea that we, as christians, are educated beyond our capability of obedience.

I think there has been a ton lost in our ability to know what obedience looks like. We think obedience is defined by if we read our bible daily-- shouldn't reading our bible draw us to active biblical decisions, to prayer, to living out the words of the bible in our lives?
what happened to that.

admirable.

2008-10-31T19:55:00.000+01:00

1. worthy of admiration; inspiring approval, reverence, or affection.
2. excellent; first-rate

effect..

2008-10-31T12:24:00.002+01:00

one of the stories i wrote for the Ram Page received this comment

Thank you your article really helped me alot,excellently written,it was received at a very needed time.You don't know the details but I am a mom of 5 and I was ready to let myself go.

if that isn't enough to keep me writing... i don't know what is.

this semester, Father has shown me love, he has shown me how to have confidence, and he has humbled me.

2008-10-29T20:19:00.000+01:00

Lovely

2008-10-29T14:19:00.002+01:00

–adjective

1.	charmingly or exquisitely beautiful: a lovely flower.

2.	having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye, as a person or a face.

3.	delightful; highly pleasing: to have a lovely time.

4.	of a great moral or spiritual beauty: a lovely character.

Pure

2008-10-27T05:16:00.000+01:00

1.	free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind; free from extraneous matter: pure gold; pure water.

2.	unmodified by an admixture; simple or homogeneous.

3.	of unmixed descent or ancestry: a pure breed of dog.

4.	free from foreign or inappropriate elements: pure Attic Greek.

5.	clear; free from blemishes: pure skin.

6.	(of literary style) straightforward; unaffected.

7.	abstract or theoretical (opposed to applied ): pure science.

8.	without any discordant quality; clear and true: pure tones in music.

9.	absolute; utter; sheer: to sing for pure joy.

10.	being that and nothing else; mere: a pure accident.

11.	clean, spotless, or unsullied: pure hands.

12.	untainted with evil; innocent: pure in heart.

13.	physically chaste; virgin.

14.	ceremonially or ritually clean.

15.	free of or without guilt; guiltless.

16.	independent of sense or experience: pure knowledge.

17.

Biology, Genetics.

a.	homozygous.

b.	containing only one characteristic for a trait.

2008-10-27T05:07:00.000+01:00

i am citing this at the beginning, mainly for seth

http://www.state.gov/g/tip/rls/fs/08/99365.htm

[Chart developed by Solidarity Center (www.solidaritycenter.org) and International Catholic Migration Commission (www.icmc.org). Circulated by the Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, U.S. Department of State]

The chart below, extrapolated and simplified from the 2000 UN Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, especially women and children definition, is a useful tool for analyzing individual cases to determine whether or not they constitute trafficking. In order for a situation to be trafficking, it must have at least one of the elements within each of the three criteria of Process, Means, and Goal.

Human Trafficking is:

Process

Way/Means

Goal

Recruitment

Transportation

Transferring

Harboring

Receiving

Threat

Coercion

Abduction

Fraud

Deceit

Deception

Abuse of Power

Prostitution

Pornography

Violence/Sexual Exploitation

Forced Labor

Involuntary Servitude

Debt Bondage
(with unfair wages)

Slavery/Similar practices

If one condition from each category is met, the result is trafficking. For adults, victim consent is irrelevant if one of the Means is employed. For children consent is irrelevant with or without the Means category.

Human Trafficking.

2008-10-25T20:25:00.003+02:00

in march of 2007 I was given a heart for the abolition of human trafficking (the buying and selling of people) through a book I read. As I lived in Hamburg a few months after that, a place where prostitution is greatly popular, I felt Father was continually giving me a softenend heart for the women and children who are sold and forced to live in a world I cannot even imagine. They have souls and long to feel, but don't know how. Father has been renewing my passion for this subject the past week... i've been hanging out on www.stopthetraffik.org

In September of 2007, Kendall Payne sang this song at a closed concert i went to about this same subject matter... and Father has spoken me through it...

Don’t touch me, Don’t touch me there (2x)
I am bare and he is staring, we are trapped and caged like animals
I am small it isn’t fitting. I am screaming but no one’s listening
Don’t touch me, Don’t touch me there

I forgot what it feels like to feel safe, I forgot what it feels like to feel brave
A shattered soul never heals, this heart of flesh has turned to steal
I’ve forgotten how to feel

He liked her, he liked her that way
He broke her she has never been the same
Can you imagine? Can you fathom such a place where evil spreads its seed?
It’s upon us, It’s beneath us, It’s up to us to do something
He liked her, he liked her that way…

Listen little children to the story of a girl who found her knight and shining armor
When he saved her from the dragon he was strong and not afraid that there was
Smoke and there was fire and they lived happily ever after in his castle far away
Listen little children to the story of a girl

also here is a photo from my weekend

2008-10-23T17:09:00.001+02:00

noble...

highly moral.
grand, splendid.

i made these for a work assignment.

2008-10-22T20:13:00.003+02:00

at www.stripcreator.com

Think about these things...

2008-10-22T19:33:00.005+02:00

so lately, I've been running along the theme of training my mind for godliness. I've only thought about it... but today, when I was supposed to be listening to a lecture in class, I wrote down Phil. 4:8 like this:

Think about such things:

whatever is:

true

noble

pure

lovely

admirable

excellent

praiseworthy

And then, I began to think about what exactly each word means...

This morning, I found myself having to look up stupid words in the dictionary, like avalanche, to make sure it was used correctly in a news story... I learned that it is permissible to use avalanche when referring to falling objects other than snow. (so, Jessie Bo- the guy in holland was correct when he said 'oh shit, it's like an avalanche of sodas.')

So, If I may be a little corny-esque, let's begin today, with the word true.

Main Entry:
1true
Pronunciation:
\ˈtrü\
Function:
adjective
Inflected Form(s):
tru·er; tru·est
Etymology:
Middle English trewe, from Old English trēowe faithful; akin to Old High German gitriuwi faithful, Old Irish derb sure, and probably to Sanskrit dāruṇa hard, dāru wood — more at tree
Date:
before 12th century
1 a: steadfast , loyal b: honest , just carchaic : truthful2 a (1): being in accordance with the actual state of affairs (2): conformable to an essential reality (3): fully realized or fulfilled b: ideal , essential c: being that which is the case rather than what is manifest or assumed d: consistent 3 a: properly so called b (1): possessing the basic characters of and belonging to the same natural group as (2): typical 4: legitimate , rightful 5 a: that is fitted or formed or that functions accurately b: conformable to a standard or pattern : accurate6: determined with reference to the earth's axis rather than the magnetic poles 7: logically necessary8: narrow , strict 9: corrected for error
— true·ness noun

So what is true? We know what is 'true' and 'factual' according to the world-- objective truth, but subjective truth? is there such a thing? I argue yes... for obvious reasons, I'm a Christian.
So I set my mind on Christ- he is true....

i could say much more but i really need to study for public relations. I may fail if i don't.

thought?

2008-10-21T19:07:00.006+02:00

A week ago, I was struck by a thought.

When overseas, I was always told to never say "I grew up a Christian."
I understood why-- because people will immediately think "then of course you believe, it's how you were raised to believe." It was never an issue to address, but last week while sitting at starbucks I heard someone justifying their faith by saying the words, "well that's how I was raised."

It's not a reason. It's NOT a reason why you believe what you believe. I don't care what anyone says, it should not be a part of the reason.

I believe in ancient work, and I believe that my parents and my family poured a lot into me that caused me to draw toward Christ as he captured my heart, but I didn't believe because of how I was raised.

I've been thinking about making this post for the past week, how to phrase it, how to couple words together to get this thought from my brain into tangible words. I want to mention Timothy and the ancient work of his mother and grandmother which drew him to Christ but he didn't follow Christ because of 'how he was raised.' Christ extremely and 100% captured his heart and changed his life. I could go into greater detail but my stomach is churning and my mind is racing.

I do not believe in Jesus because of how I was raised. I believe in Jesus because he took me from depths of despair in my life and showed me how he offers true life. He did that through situations, as well as through his word in the bible and through mentors who poured encouragement into my heart.

The God of the Bible is the real, true, living God, and I believe in him, not because of how I was raised, but because he is real.

http://www.flowerdust.net/2008/10/17/keeping-your-mouth-shut/#comments

2008-10-20T22:33:00.002+02:00

http://www.flowerdust.net/2008/10/17/keeping-your-mouth-shut/#comments
found this interesting.
it also made me cry.

what is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other christians?

I’d rather look like a good christian than put in the time and effort to actually be one.

I currently feel NO connection to God when I pray or read the bible.

That I hate Facing the Giants.

When I say “I’ll pray for you.” I don’t usually mean it. I have been a Christian for 27 years and I still don’t understand the point of praying.

I struggle with having a quiet time. I’ve been a “Christian” since I was 6 years old and sometimes I wonder if I really am a Christian and why I don’t seem to have it all together.

Most people I know who claim to follow God are really sucky people who don’t care about anything but themselves and their comfort. It makes me not want to follow their rules.

‘not all Christians are republicans’

Sometimes I wonder if this whole Christianity thing is a lie.

That law is easier than grace … just tell me what to do and not do and I’ll give it my best shot.

Grace is too big, to wide open and scary.

I’m depressed- and it’s not because of a relationship with Jesus.

Stop making Christianity a scapegoat for not developing a personality. Quit being judgemental, flakey, egotistical, mean, rude, fake in the name of a God who was none of those things.

my Christian husband and i almost never speak of spiritual things…we have almost no spiritual connection at all

Staying

2008-10-19T02:47:00.002+02:00

what a weekend.

so i was supposed to go to dallas, but after we got an hour out the car broke down. Our friend heather, happened to be going to abilene so she saw us and stopped and waited with us until the tow truck came. She also took us somewhere to eat. That was amazing. So, my friend David was able to pick us up. The car is still in abilene, but we'll get it this week.

Other than that, the weekend has been good. I've finally been able to simply have some down time... God planned this.

xoxo
Lara jo

?!

2008-10-12T23:42:00.004+02:00

it has been brought to my attention how popular "casual sex" is. It has nothing to do with relationships or caring for the person... it's self-gratification. The very idea of this makes me want to throw up, it hurts and if I dare be so brash I don't agree with it.

I think sex is as Matt Chandler has said, the mingling of souls. It is something that requires a relationship, and is something not only physical, but mental as well.

I think God weeps over us for many reasons, but also because we are so confused with the world. Our priorities are jacked up. We place our thoughts, that we can only base on "well that's how I think" as our number one priority. We don't know or read the bible. We don't know the depth of life that Christ is calling us too.

I don't want to live for self. I want to live for my God, my creator.

I want Christ to make me a crisis-woman.

Lara jo

also, i am convinced that cupcakes are slutty muffins

hehe

Guest Writer: Micah Mathis

2008-10-09T16:06:00.001+02:00

This was written by Micah, it inspired me, and therefore I would like to share it. <3>

sitting in the cup inspires me to write =) i just had an interesting convo with a friend about Father and the work He's doing and the way people live their lives. End thoughts were some that came to mind, ones of Heaven and Hell and if people believe in these two places and where they would like to end up and if they believe and know which they will end up in.

So.....how are we living our lives? Coming to college i've realized that either a person will completely immerse themselves and grow in Father, or they will be kinda there and slowly slip away. Living life on my own has brought so many changes and choices that i never knew i'd have to make. one of them was how i was who i was going to become and what i was doing to actually get there. and college is great cause you can do virtually whatever you want! you can eat at taco mayo at three in the morning and get coffee every hour to help you stay awake thru class! the things you love are suddenly at your fingertips and you can have as much as you want whenever you want and the parents arent there to stiffle your elation of joy with the things you love! the things you choose to love.

I'm becoming who i was made to be. I'm an individual that loves things that I love. I'm unique. I choose to love Father. And love Him more than just the oh yea let me take out my Bible today, I mean a deep desperate and loyal love! One that you would give to your bestest friend! The one that brings you joy in beautiful things and the hand that wipes away your tears during your darkest times. To live loyal means to actually spend time with the one you are so loyal to. To want them. To seek them and yearn for that time together. And to be loyal when you are not together where your focus of them is not so clear.

If we are to live for Father we have to remember the end. That how we live now will affect us then. 1 Corinthians 3:9-15 says "For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, you are God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation and another build on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foudation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

So if we are living for Father then what we build up will be gold, silver, and precious stones, and those things will last, they will be our rewards in Heaven, but if we live a life that is not for Father we will be building up useless materials for our house, wood, hay, and fire that will burn when tested in the fire. And wewill suffer great loss for our life was nothing, compared to everything that it could have been.

Our lives can be filled so greatly! And yet we wont grasp ahold and say okay in this disloyal world i will choose to be completely loyal to one thing. One person. Father. And as we look to the end we realize that our lives are being purified to be like Him and our house is being built up from a solid foundation with firm walls. Heaven is not the end goal, disciipleship, living for the One that saves us is.

Lessons.

2008-10-08T15:06:00.006+02:00
every day is the same, each morning feels like the one before, but I am happy. Yes, I did end up dropping a class, for many reasons and as each day goes by I realize it was probably the right decision.
Here are some new things I have learned in the 7 weeks of school:

1. I have life, it is in Christ. I don't count on others, on my jobs, my grades, boys, or what organizations I belong to, Christian or not, to find my worth.
2. I can successfully use Microsoft 2007 and help others use it also.
3. Tears come seldom, but to cry usually only helps.
4. I'm a mad swiffer-er.
5. To pull away and withdraw myself is never the correct solution.
6. Some boys are creepy.
7. I have friends who are absolutely amazing. They encourage me spiritually, and in other ways as well.
8. If you want to see many things, do many things, meet many intelligent people, learn to work on a deadline, learn to live ONE day at a time... become a journalist.
9. Father answers the cry of our hearts, even if that is for the nations.
10. I can make my own Apfelschorle.

<3

photos

2008-10-07T19:10:00.002+02:00

this song reminds me of hannover

2008-10-04T07:28:00.000+02:00
It's a big girl world now
Full of big girl things
And everyday I wish I was small
I've been counting on nothing
But he keeps giving me his word
And I am tired of hearing myself speak
Do you ever get weary?
Do you ever get weak?
How do you dream
When you can't fall asleep?

I've been wondering what you're thinking
And if you like my dress tonight?
Would you still say you love me
Under this ordinary moonlight?
I'm so afraid of what you'll say.

Chorus
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To starting over from scratch
I'd like to know if you'd be open
To giving me a second chance

I used to think I was special
And only I have proved me wrong
I thought I could change
The world with a song
But I have ended up in India
With no lamp to guide me home.
The strangest place I think
I have ever been
And all this time
I thought that we were friends
My stubborn will is learning to bend.

I miss them

2008-10-03T23:19:00.002+02:00

From May 29-August 28

2008-10-02T15:18:00.000+02:00

2008-09-30T00:52:00.001+02:00
Jesus, in spite of his busy calender, never failed to keep in mind His prime directive - to seek and save those who are lost. (Luke 19:10). In the midst of his busyness, He took the time to lift up His eyes and see the multitudes. The Bible goes on to say, “And seeing the multitudes, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and downcast like sheep without a shephard.”

When I get busy, I tend to forget the most imprtant reason why I’m here- my prime directive: to make more and better disciples. (Matt 23:18-20)! In fact, unlike Jesus, the busier I become, the more I lose compassion for the lost. It doesn’t take much for the multitudes to become more of a stumbling block to impede my effectiveness rather than a reason for becoming effective….A long line is an obstacle rather than an opportunity.

The truth is, compassion cannot be something pushed on us from obligation, it is something that comes out from within. In fact, the world “compassion” used of Jesus in this passage literally means “bowels” - it is something you feel in your gut….

I cannot accept that if we love Jesus we will be able to sit back and sunbathe while millions all arounds us drown. I believe that the reason we don’t feel compassion is that we don’t really see the multitudes are indeed drowning.

-Niel Cole; Cultivating a Life for God

Move Forward

2008-09-29T05:15:00.000+02:00

My name is Foreigner
From a far away land
My feet are covered in earth
They've been here and back again
And I have seen
Great things from a distance
They beckon me
I follow them

And I move forward
I move forward
I move forward to home, to home

My eyes are soft and wise
They tell a story
Of things left behind
Defeat and glory

And I push every hindrance aside

-Bethany Dillon

my community within the society I live

2008-09-27T16:54:00.005+02:00
these are only some of the amazing people Father has put in my life... and yes, I am very thankful.

sara from amarillo, yvette from rotterdam, netherlands, casey from harper, tx

Rebecca from Belfast, N. Ireland, Marije from Rotterdam, Netherlands and Valeska from Lueneburg, Germany

Righteous...!

2008-09-26T22:44:00.001+02:00
How can one be a slave to righteousness?

being a slave to obedience leads to being a slave to righteousness, which leads to holiness.

when you are a slave to sin, you are free from the control of righteousness.

I think Paul was using reverse psychology, but it makes you think... right?!

for your entertainment... or education.

2008-09-24T20:15:00.001+02:00
How to use a squatty potty.