The verse says it all. Many times I read the book of Ephesians and wonder if I am specifically an Ephesian at heart. I feel like it was written specifically for ME. Thankful I have scripture to walk through and learn from - and people who walked through the same struggles I do in God's word. Thankful God is willing and wonderful enough to give me the grace and mercy I need to learn from Him how to walk in truth.
Unfortunately for me, a lot of my motivation, self-worth, image, etc. is held in what people think of me. I journey through this and repent of it often. I have to take off the old man daily and put on the new.
And, although I planned to speak my mind and struggles, God is simply showing me right now that HIS grace is enough and that the gospel applies very much right here. I am not a captive to my sin. I am free.. and I can live in HIS grace.
I wanted to major in anthropology.
Not the store; the actual study of people and cultures.
This being said. I'm in LOVE with the Scandinavian culture of Seattle.
I cannot wait to learn more about it as I study to teach Seattle history. I love knowing where a city was, how it started, why it started and why a city and its people deal with different cultural and religious situations and struggles... what is it rooted in? Where did it begin?
I cannot WAIT to read and learn more about Arthur Denny, Henry Yesler and Chief Seattle (etc.) and I can't wait to find out how I can pray even more for this city I call home.
I have a deep LOVE for this city. I never realized when I moved here how much I would fall in love not only with its people, but with this place. So thankful God has called us to this city, and I cannot wait to see how that will flesh out the longer we are here. :-)
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Paul, the apostle, the man who wrote most of the New Testament was a well educated man.
I've never actually stopped to think about this. Sure, he made tents - and I think we tend to stop there. Okay yeah, that's what he did. He killed believers, he made tents, he met Jesus, got saved, stopped killing believers, made tents, got put in prison, wrote a lot of letters, encouraged believers [that list isn't a timeline b.t.w.]. I think about those things, I don't stop and think about his education.
This man went to places of education and proclaimed Christ. - He reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the devout persons, and in the market places every day (while in Athens at least). He conversed with Epicurean and Stoic philosophers. (Acts 16)
I'll let an excerpt from Doug Wilson's essay "Intro to Antithesis in Education" take over from here:
"Paul was not unaware of Aristotelian philosophy. He had been well educated under Gamaliel, and demonstrated in his writings a thorough knowledge of Greek philosophy and culture. He knew the language (Acts 21:37), he knew their poets (Acts 17:28), he quoted Diogenes the Cynic (1 Tim 6:10), he knew their current philosophies (Acts 17:17), and he knew the thought of Aristotle. In short, Paul was well-trained in classical culture. But this did not gain him an entry into their circles. The only problem was that he was a classicist who would not play the game of autonomous and humanistic philosophers. He was a classicist who did not fit in well at the philosophy department at the University of Athens (Acts 17:18). They didn't think a lot of him, but then again, he was happy to return fire:
Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For since, the wisdom of God, the world, through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe (1 Cor. 1:20-21).
But it is the next chapter that he deals with Aristotle:
But the natural man does not recieve the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. (1 Cor. 2:14).
When modern Christians read the phrase natural man, they tend to think of unregenerate man at his worst-- the drug addict, the philanderer the alcoholic. But Paul is making an entirely different point. He is talking about unregenerate man at his best. The word natural here (psychikos) was a word that was coined by Aristotle, and was used by him to refer to a man at the peak of his form -- man the way he would look after he had completed a rigorous and "classical" education. This is the man, who, according to Paul, does not know God, cannot know God, and does not receive the things of the Spirit.
So we see in Paul a biblical classicist. He does not run away from classical culture, nor is he defeated or comprimised by it. Rather, he declares the lordship of Jesus Christ over it. He does not run away, he does not compromise He takes every thought captive to Jesus Christ. He uses his vast learning in the cause of the gospel (Acts 26:24)....
Someone did something cute in class. Wait. Stop. Take a photo.
I made an awesome meal. Wait. Stop. Take a photo.
I made coffee in my coffee press. Wait. Stop. Take a photo.
It's Thursday. All my friends really need to see what I looked like years ago. Wait. Stop. Search photo database. Post.
I'm reading a cool book. Wait. Stop. Take a photo.
I was given something awesome. Wait. Stop. Take a photo.
I made something. Wait. Stop. Take a photo.
on. and on. and on. and on. and you're actually interested in this?
Monday, I made some fettuccini with fava beans and sautéed swiss chard (which is absolutely delicious by the way) and then I went to work on some zucchini bread and cleaned the kitchen. And I want to tell everyone I know about it. So I did through instagram. Then I stopped and actually thought, "This is very weird."
Maybe you can relate to this, maybe not. I feel this weird pressure to document what I do, so it appears I'm able to do amazing house wifey things, so that it appears that I am awesome and trendy, etc. Who gets the glory? Well, I guess I think I do- or does that depend on how many likes I get? (why do you guys like some of that stuff anyway?). So, well, obviously it's narcissistic and sinful behavior.
Let's just focus on being a housewife - since that's a more concrete example. I feel this pressure through social media to look like a good house wife, and a good wife. I think there has always been this pressure, but now it's simply fleshed out quite a bit differently than it has been in the past. I'm seeign a need in myself to kind of cool it with instagram - pace myself, maybe.. I need to be the wife God is calling me to be to Seth - and no one else.
oh and I just totally thought about taking a photo of this blog post and instagramming it.
Marriage. It ain't easy. But, it's edifying. It draws us nearer to Christ. Through it, I've learned more about the character of Father. I'm very much in love with my husband. Absolutely 100% in love with him. But, I sometimes fail to show this and show it well.
Before I met Seth, a previous guy during his break up speech told me that I needed a man, not a coward like himself (his words, not mine). I needed someone strong and I needed someone who could protect me and lead me well. I was so mad and confused when I heard those words from this one guy that I didn't really comprehend this guy's heart behind those words - and honestly, I didn't really want to. But later, as my emotions calmed down and I was able to think clearly, that became my prayer. For a man who could lead me Biblically. For a man who would love me like Jesus loves the church.
Seth isn't perfect. He loves me well when I don't love him well. When I had/have panic attacks, he holds me until I calm down. When I am in the deepest pit, sure he gets frustrated, but I know that most of that frustration stems from having a wife who is hurting. He's never leaving me. I know and understand this reality and I am thankful for it.
When I was younger I had lies spoken into my heart. I would never make a man happy. I would never have a good relationship with my husband. Because of these lies, I have struggled to love Seth well and be the wife God calls me to be.
Seth isn't the man that matches up to my list of "must haves" from high school... and that's because God knows my needs and my heart better than I do. I never thought I'd marry a man 18 inches taller than me. I never thought that one of my biggest struggles in my marriage would be that I can't really hug my husband "whenever I want" because of our height difference. I never thought I'd marry a man who will do anything to protect me and guard me and lead our family in the way Father would have us go.
We are two sinners, who mess up a LOT but standing on the foundation that is Christ, who, loves us, forgives us, and teaches us more and more about himself. Thankful for my marriage. Thankful for Seth. Thankful for Jesus. Thankful for Gospel Truth.
I'm thankful for friendship. True. Honest. None Judgment. Godly Rebuking. Friendship. And one of the blessings of being in Seattle, is that God is answering my prayer for friendship. Now, flying into Seattle, this was my prayer. That, we would find this. That our community would spur us on toward truth. That would call us out when we needed that, friends that wouldn't shy away from the truth of the gospel for the sake of well... self righteousness, pride, what have you. Now, I want to be careful when I say that because I think.. no, I know that I have had friends like this in the past... I don't want to communicate with you that Seattle is the land of true and good friends, because it's not. My understanding of the gospel has changed, so my heart toward friendship has changed. In the past, I had friends like this, but I 1. lacked maturity and 2. I didn't have the heart to know and understand the love behind some of those friendships because of the hurt of friendships past. OR those friends never were in the same place as me *cough* +Damaris Campos Well. anyway, prayer was answered...but not as I expected, because well, God is funny that way. We moved across the country. God changed my heart and understanding and love for the gospel in a way that I could have never imagined. He is maturing me in many different ways and I can truly say my ears were opened more and my eyes can see clearer...
Originally I thought, well, God will give me some amazing pacific north west friends, right? Well, he has. Our community group is solid. We are certainly family. I adore my coworker. God has used her to spur me on toward truth... she's honest with me and loving and there is no judgment, but there is that "I think you might be dealing with pride and may need to repent of that" conversations.
Also, as of late, I am completely blessed by a friend who I never knew before moving to Seattle, yet is from the same wonderful city of San Angelo. We know many of the same people. My dad knows their dad (father-in-law). I just can't put my head around how God worked this out. I love the road we both took across the country to work for the same church, having no idea the other existed. God completely placed this friendship together, and I'm blessed to have yet another friend who spurs me on toward truth - toward the gospel. That says, I think what you're dealing with is "self-righteousness" or "bitterness." (*etc). I'm thankful for the friends here - in community group, in kids min, at my job, my friendship with Loren- I"m thankful for the friends who direct me to look full in Father's face. <3 I could go on forever. I'm not even sure this makes complete sense. But that's that, my friends.
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| A photograph my mom took at the Ballard Locks |
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| Dad at the Ballard Locks |
Today I got to see my parents for the first time since July. I need to confess that I used to think my parents didn't know how to do "vacation," - we typically don't go out to eat. We do normal every day things and don't really sight see. Museums? who goes to those? So, I knew having my parents here would simply mean - we were going to do every day, normal things and enjoy time together.
Today was amazing. God taught me so much through simple things we did. Bare with me as I walk you quickly through our day. We woke up. My mom and I made a pot roast We took Seth to work. Then, we sat and had a cup of coffee at Java Jahn in Ballard. Dad read the news and worked on a sudoku, and spent probably 20 minutes speaking to Siri in German on my phone. Mom worked some type of word puzzle. Then, we left to go to Discovery Park. It was raining. So, we decided to go to Costco... where we bought tons and tons of fruit. and more oatmeal. THEN, we ate a sandwich in the car and went to Discovery park. My dad ran (as he has a marathon on Whidbey Island Sunday morning) and my mom and I just walked and talked and marveled at how creative our God is - my how beautiful is creation.
We then accidentally ended up at the Ballard Locks and we simply enjoyed the beauty of that gorgeous place. By the time we finished there it was perfect time for us to go by Trader Joes and then pick up Seth from work. My dad made sure the secretaries at Mars Hill Central will never forget him (oh that personality). We came home. We finished preparing dinner. We ate.
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| Ships at the Ballard Locks |
Now the boys are at REI and my mom and I just finished speaking to my sister +Megan Murray on google talk and are now preparing for our picnic we *cross our fingers* will work out for tomorrow. We plan to meet Landon and Loren at Golden Gardens and enjoy the beach.
We didn't go to Pike Place Market today. (we might still do that). We didn't go see the space needle.. and it was OKAY! We took the day as it came and it was beautiful. God allowed me good conversation with my mom as we drank a glass of wine and prepared dinner. God allowed me to see some of why I am the way I am as my mom and I relished in the creation of our heavenly Father as my earthly father whistled at us as he ran by (sweating like a pig). Oh, how I am thankful. Today was only day one of their visit. Praying the rest of the short time they are here is just as rewarding.
Thankful for Spring Breaks. Thankful for family.
I never thought I would say I was thankful for Report Cards and Parent Teacher conferences. Oh, but I am. I get to sit, drink coffee and reflect on how faithful Father has been to answer prayer requests. And THEN I get to sit with parents and talk about how God is working in the lives of their children - and we get to laugh and cry and relish in the power of the gospel. God is allowing me to see how amazing it is to get to witness the heart change and growth in these children. I get to sit and reflect on how the gospel has the power to change lives and redirect that natural bend we have toward sin, back toward the saving power and grace of Jesus Christ.
A year ago, I had no clue if I was going to be able to work in Seattle or even find a job. Those who followed and know the amazing story of how God literally picked me up off the ground and placed me into the classroom at SCCS know that none of this could have been possible without God. He wanted us here. He went before us. Seth and I cannot deny that God wants us in this city for a purpose.
If I were to tell you the overarching theme of this past year I would say: I have grown in the gospel through watching and participating in the gospel with a group of 7 year olds. So, I get this amazing opportunity to partner with their parents in building a foundation of 1. the love of the gospel and 2. the love of learning into the hearts and minds of these children. I get the chance to cry with a parent over a child's struggle with pride and confidence. And then, on the reverse side of that thought I absolutely love sitting with a parent and our eyes being opened to the realization that a child broken free from the chains of perfectionism and pride and confidence. I love that I have had the opportunity to spend time in prayer with parents for knowledge to direct their children to the arms of Jesus.
If I were to tell you the overarching theme of this past year I would say: I have grown in the gospel through watching and participating in the gospel with a group of 7 year olds. So, I get this amazing opportunity to partner with their parents in building a foundation of 1. the love of the gospel and 2. the love of learning into the hearts and minds of these children. I get the chance to cry with a parent over a child's struggle with pride and confidence. And then, on the reverse side of that thought I absolutely love sitting with a parent and our eyes being opened to the realization that a child broken free from the chains of perfectionism and pride and confidence. I love that I have had the opportunity to spend time in prayer with parents for knowledge to direct their children to the arms of Jesus.
I recently gave a speech at our school's fundraiser. It expresses what is going on in my heart as I work on these report cards:
Yesterday, I planned to come and tell you tonight about a
student, who I have seen grow tremendously in many different areas academically
and spiritually, but before I explained all these areas in which she has grown,
I decided it would be wise to pull this student aside to see if she realizes
what God has done in her life this year.
So, during recess I asked her, “What have you learned the most this year?”
She looked straight at me and said, “I have grown in the gospel.”
I wasn’t even expecting that answer from an 8-year-old.
I asked her what that meant to her, and she said she understands more of who Jesus is.
So, we sat there and we started to dissect her year together.
Those times she felt lonely? God used his story to remind her that she is not alone. He is always with her.
Those times she had a bad attitude over an assignment she didn’t want to do? She remembered that Jesus revealed her selfishness and her need for a rescuer.
The time she got into a disagreement with a friend? We remembered together how God revealed her pride, and how God used that time to show her true humility and weakness. We remembered that Jesus walked through humiliation perfectly so that even when we succumb to our pride, we have his good reputation.
What about that time when she pretended she didn’t know how to do her math assignments just so she could get the attention of her teacher? The gospel even applied to this situation. We talked about the first lie that Satan told Adam and Eve—that God’s love wasn’t enough for them. He convinced them they needed more than God’s love.
But could she also see God working in the every day things? “What about at recess?” He provides rest and fun and laughter.
In math, as she practices her multiplication facts, she hears about how perfect God is.
In phonics she hears how creative God must be to give the letter e so many jobs. By simply adding an e to a word, all the sounds in a word can change!
As she says a chant about ants working underground, she hears Proverbs 6:6: “Go to the ant, you sluggard, remember his ways and be wise.”
Truth surrounds her.
As I stand back and see that this child has grown academically, she has grown in self-control, in love and good deeds, in maturity, I see the message of the gospel fully covering this child.
So, during recess I asked her, “What have you learned the most this year?”
She looked straight at me and said, “I have grown in the gospel.”
I wasn’t even expecting that answer from an 8-year-old.
I asked her what that meant to her, and she said she understands more of who Jesus is.
So, we sat there and we started to dissect her year together.
Those times she felt lonely? God used his story to remind her that she is not alone. He is always with her.
Those times she had a bad attitude over an assignment she didn’t want to do? She remembered that Jesus revealed her selfishness and her need for a rescuer.
The time she got into a disagreement with a friend? We remembered together how God revealed her pride, and how God used that time to show her true humility and weakness. We remembered that Jesus walked through humiliation perfectly so that even when we succumb to our pride, we have his good reputation.
What about that time when she pretended she didn’t know how to do her math assignments just so she could get the attention of her teacher? The gospel even applied to this situation. We talked about the first lie that Satan told Adam and Eve—that God’s love wasn’t enough for them. He convinced them they needed more than God’s love.
But could she also see God working in the every day things? “What about at recess?” He provides rest and fun and laughter.
In math, as she practices her multiplication facts, she hears about how perfect God is.
In phonics she hears how creative God must be to give the letter e so many jobs. By simply adding an e to a word, all the sounds in a word can change!
As she says a chant about ants working underground, she hears Proverbs 6:6: “Go to the ant, you sluggard, remember his ways and be wise.”
Truth surrounds her.
As I stand back and see that this child has grown academically, she has grown in self-control, in love and good deeds, in maturity, I see the message of the gospel fully covering this child.
The Socratic Method, on which Classical Education stems, is
based on the idea that that there is a truth, it can be known and it can be
explained. The gospel is the only truth there is.
My hope and prayer is that every student who walks through Seattle Classical Christian School would see every situation they encounter through the lens of the truth that is the gospel.
My hope and prayer is that every student who walks through Seattle Classical Christian School would see every situation they encounter through the lens of the truth that is the gospel.
These children love the Lord. They are growing in the grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior... and I'm so blessed to be privy to part of that process. About a week ago, we were discussing that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. A student piped up, "Mrs. Chomout? If Jesus died on the cross for our sins, why do we still sin?" Before I had the chance to answer, another little girl piped up and stole the words right out of my mouth. "We live in a broken world," she said. "Until Jesus comes back, there will be sin and we will struggle with it. That's why we NEED (big emphasis on need) Jesus." Out of the mouth of a 7 year old.
So what was my take away from this experience? Amazement at how well this little girl quickly knew the answer? Amazement at how well she has been trained in the word? I took a little of that away. But, my main take away, Jesus whispered in my ears, "Lara. Let the little children come to me. Do NOT hinder them."
Believe that God is strong enough to save your children, no matter how you fail. Believe that he is loving enough to bring them all the way into relationship with himself... and believe that he is wise enough to know the right way and the right time to do it. What do you need to do? Simply believe. In the words of Martin Luther, "The law says 'do this,' and it is never done. Grace says 'believe in this,' and everything is already done." Everything is already done. Can you believe that? Will you? - Elyse Fitzpatrick, "Give them Grace."
When I began to write in this blog at 20 years of age, little did I know that I would 6 years later, live in Seattle. Do I work for the newspaper? no. Oh, then surely the news station? Uhm nope. I teach first grade. Wait what? I live in Seattle. I teach first grade. My husband and I live in Seattle. Husband. +Seth Chomout is my husband. Six years ago, I would have said I was never getting married - six years ago, I begged God to teach me what it means to love - I of course, probably thought it would be comfortable and fun and like a huge engulfing hug - while in the same breath I would write deep, graphic poetry that displayed dirtiness and forgiveness and it meant something to me, but still, wasn't reality - I didn't understand it.
Here's the deal. I didn't find my identity in Christ. I found it in my writing. I found it in the fact that I liked cool indie music, that I wore vans and that I had a nose ring before it was cool. I found it in the fact that I loved everyone and they could sin all the want, but they were still loved by me! I didn't understand redemption fully. I didn't understand true repentance. I knew the words of the gospel, but I didn't know its power. I didn't know and understand GRACE. There came a point in my journey to find out what it means to love that I felt as if the world had grabbed my heart, taken a hammer and smashed it to bits. Friends. It SUCKED.
If you click through the blog posts of Lara Chomout's (Johnson's) past, you'll see a tiny bit that hurt. You'll hear my tears dripping off the posts as I describe rocking back and forth in my tiny german closet sobbing. You'll hear me speaking through the prostitutes and the harlots of the bible and identifying with them - but do you really hear of the redemption of Christ? I stopped blogging. I stopped writing real posts, and instead I tried to ignore all thoughts and emotions. I couldn't identify what was going on in my heart, so instead I tried to put all my burdens on the shoulders of my sweet husband, instead of the shoulders of Christ, which is what he calls us to do.
So, that's what I want to say to you today. I have been redeemed. When Christ looks at me, he calls me His and sees no blemish, no spot, he doesn't see a whore, a prostitute, a sinner - he sees perfection.. and I don't deserve that. He carries my burdens. He picks up the pieces of my heart, dusts them off, places it back together.
Guys, Sometimes I still wear my vans. I still listen to Page France, The Fruit Bats, Alexi Murdoch and Bishop Allen serenade me as I drive through the rainy weather of Seattle. But. that's not what people see when they look at me anymore.
There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed ones of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Till all the ransomed ones of God,
Be saved to sin no more.
E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save:
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save.
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed ones of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Till all the ransomed ones of God,
Be saved to sin no more.
E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save:
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save.
Today, I was reminded of the great love of Father and the divine appointments he has in our lives. I was reminded of how he chose you.. that one person reading my blog, out of everyone in the world to be where you are and do what you are doing when you are doing it. That everything he does has a HUGE purpose, and he is this glorious, mighty genius, we get to call Father.
There is a story, that I know you know well of the woman at the well. Father placed her at the well, Jesus was there - perfect timing, God's timing. She's the perfect representation of what it is to be human and trusting in self and worldly things and passions.
After questioning Jesus' intentions, Jesus says to her "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "give me a drink," you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water."
This woman looks, I would like to think, in the eyes of Jesus - but that's not recorded, and says to Jesus, Sir, you have nothing to draw water with and the well is deep...."
I'm not entirely sure where this post going... other than the beautiful picture of how human this woman of samaria is in painting a picture of our own souls. How many times do we look at Jesus and tell him that our problems are too deep, he has nothing to draw this water with. His grace ISN'T enough.
but it is. If we drink the water he offers, we will never thirst again... <3
There is a story, that I know you know well of the woman at the well. Father placed her at the well, Jesus was there - perfect timing, God's timing. She's the perfect representation of what it is to be human and trusting in self and worldly things and passions.
After questioning Jesus' intentions, Jesus says to her "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "give me a drink," you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water."
This woman looks, I would like to think, in the eyes of Jesus - but that's not recorded, and says to Jesus, Sir, you have nothing to draw water with and the well is deep...."
I'm not entirely sure where this post going... other than the beautiful picture of how human this woman of samaria is in painting a picture of our own souls. How many times do we look at Jesus and tell him that our problems are too deep, he has nothing to draw this water with. His grace ISN'T enough.
but it is. If we drink the water he offers, we will never thirst again... <3
We are too comfortable.
and yes, I said we, because I am probably most likely talking about myself.
I am too comfortable.
I miss praying outloud with other people, for hours a day.
but there comes a point when you have to stop hanging onto experience and put what you learned into practice.
I fall into this trap of thinking there isn't time, of being frustrated because no one will "want" to do that. I've seen how powerful prayer is, I've seen Father be faithful and true. I've seen people and communities change in a foreign land as the result of years of prayer.
but I forget.
i get so consumed in life, and in the world, and in the things "of God" that I forget to look at God. I forget to follow him, because as we learned at church today - i'm sometimes just a fan and not a follower.
The flesh wars against the spirit.
Lara...
she is too comfortable.
She fears men. Not God.
She is prideful.
She is anxious
She is scared.
But, I wallow in what I am not, and not who God created me to be.
I want to pray. I want to take time to pray for hours.
I want to seek the Lord with all my heart.
I want Father to bump me into people who he is already having conversations with, and I want him to speak to them, through me.
So... what am I waiting for?
Why am I not WAGING WAR?!
there is a serious battle going on here, and I'm just comfortable...
it's like i have all the skills to be a lifeguard, and save lives... but while people are drowning and gasping for air... i'm just... drinking a soda and chewing on some chiclets.
Ridiculous.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12
I woke up early this morning, which is not much different than every other morning (we've been working out...), but today's reason was much different than usual. A friend of ours, had her third baby boy today. I went up to the hospital and saw the reveal and spent some time with the family. It's amazing how God can take a small instance - in this case, new life, and change and tweak a little bit of how you think about the world, about self, about what's important in life.
It's hard for me to think deeply lately. Everything is day to day - surface level, and I would say right now my prayer is for me to calm down, take everything not just one at a time, but take every single task in my day and give it to Jesus. I care a lot... too much, about small things, that in the end don't change the world. They matter, but not eternally-- I'm forgetting the eternal aspect, how can I make what I do further the kingdom of God? How can I change what I do so that it does bring glory to God, that he can use that task and change someone's heart and mind forever?
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in his wonderful face.
The things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of his glory and grace.
A friend of mine once told me that I have the tendency to get too concerned about the things OF God, that I forget God.... and oh, how he was right. I need to turn my eyes on Jesus, and look full in his face. That's where I am at right now.
I want to know how to love. That's my prayer. I want to stop living life for self, and learn to love. My heart longs to be somewhere else... in another place, and some days, in another time. I want my life to be buried in the gospel and my only goal and mission to speak the name of Jesus, and show the love and heart of Jesus. But for some reason, my mind is tricked into thinking that that is only for overseas. I've learned global local, but I don't fully comprehend how to apply that. I'm ashamed by this, and frustrated. In many ways, I don't feel like I have a team of people to walk along side, when really-- that's what the church should be. I believe the lies that I am too different, not funny or witty enough, not "cool" or "fashionable" enough... i'm not fun enough. Those are the lies I believe.
I don't feel like I have a place. I don't have a place among our peers, I don't even feel like I truly have a place where I work... and the part I struggle with the most is whether these feelings are valid or lies from the enemy. I just need to pray that Father would let me see where I "fit in". I long to see where his place is for me. So i'm praying. Perhaps, Father is preparing me (us) for something else during this time.... there are reasons for going through these seasons, for allowing us to feel certain ways and experience certain things.. but I'm ready to move forward. I'm ready to learn from this and apply what I have learned.
also 61 unreached people groups in the USA. learned that from the joshua project, today.
<3
Lara
o
Hello friends.
I hope all are okay. I'm doing pretty well... but come here to my blog tonight to say "I have goals." Some are serious, some less so... I want an outlet to share those goals.... so hello blog that i have not used in quite some time (slacker --> me)
1. I deleted my facebook; I guess that's an accomplishment and not a goal? But intertwined in that is a goal to stay off facebook at least for awhile. I was convicted. Well, I have been convicted for quite a while... and finally about two weeks ago, I got off of it for good... maybe i'll make a comeback later, hopefully not.
2. i DO have a twitter. It is nice, because it takes up less time, and less likely to be something that replaces a real friendship with a internet friendship... if that makes sense. My goal is to keep the twitter to a minimum.
3. I have the goal to BE HEALTHY. 1. Workout 2. Eat good things. 3. Be smart 4. Have self-control.
4. Most important: allow the Lord to grow me.
and now for the vain section of this blog post... (meh)
I learned how to kind of backwards french braid my hair today -- an asian girl on you tube taught me:
Now it is time for me to go to bed. Tomorrow i am waking up early AND going horseback riding. I <3 West Texas.
I hope all are okay. I'm doing pretty well... but come here to my blog tonight to say "I have goals." Some are serious, some less so... I want an outlet to share those goals.... so hello blog that i have not used in quite some time (slacker --> me)
1. I deleted my facebook; I guess that's an accomplishment and not a goal? But intertwined in that is a goal to stay off facebook at least for awhile. I was convicted. Well, I have been convicted for quite a while... and finally about two weeks ago, I got off of it for good... maybe i'll make a comeback later, hopefully not.
2. i DO have a twitter. It is nice, because it takes up less time, and less likely to be something that replaces a real friendship with a internet friendship... if that makes sense. My goal is to keep the twitter to a minimum.
3. I have the goal to BE HEALTHY. 1. Workout 2. Eat good things. 3. Be smart 4. Have self-control.
4. Most important: allow the Lord to grow me.
and now for the vain section of this blog post... (meh)
I learned how to kind of backwards french braid my hair today -- an asian girl on you tube taught me:
Now it is time for me to go to bed. Tomorrow i am waking up early AND going horseback riding. I <3 West Texas.
Happy 2011.
Well, so much has changed since we arrived in San Angelo since the Christmas break. It feels as if we have been going nonstop since our arrival here. Seth and I have been asked to help with a plant of a satellite campus for our church. Seth will be the Administrative Staff, doing much of what the Administrative Pastor does for our live campus. I was asked to be the nursery/preschool director... I know what to expect and have no idea what to expect in the same breath, but excited to see where Father takes both of us through this. I was so humbled by our church, because they knew 1) that I was interested in children's ministry and 2) that seth felt called to the ministry, and is very business minded. They definitely have taken both of us under their wings and are mentoring us as a couple. It's such a blessing.
However, through this all, I am becoming broken for the city of San Angelo. I'm so excited to see who Father brings to The Venue. I'm excited for the community he has been preparing to build. I cannot wait to see people come to know him, and I'm excited to pray for and look out for each child who is in the children's ministry.
Also, I feel like many of my prayers have been answered from last year. Last year I felt like I had zero friends. I felt needy and lonely, even though I was about to marry my best friend, but I prayed, and asked close friends (who live in the DFW area) to pray that Father would bring women into my life. Oh, has he done that. Through a college-girls bible study, I have grown close to so many girls around my age, and not necessarily in the same stage of life as me, which i believe is important. I always want to be able to be mentored by people who are a step ahead of me, those who are many steps ahead of me and able to mentor (and learn from) women who are younger than me or at way different stages of life as me. I'm also meeting many at church, from being there and working there... women who work there as well as mom's of the children I watch. I am so blessed by their kindness. In fact, today I am going to a baking club. I don't know everyone there, but excited about new relationships (as well as learning some cool new good things to bake)!
Also, if you did not have the chance to read our support letter I posted on facebook, Seth and I have been given the chance to serve in New Zealand for about 10 days. We are excited to take this step of obedience, as well as many others.
I've also been very encouraged to give what I have to the poor. I'm spending this week and the ones following "spring cleaning" and plan to donate many clothes and items I have at home to those who could benefit them a lot more. I was very much thinking about doing this, then when reading a lesson to teach my tuesday/thursday group of kids, I was convicted by the widow who gave Elijah bread when she had barely any for herself. (found in 1 Kings). So that journey of sorting items has begun. I'm going a little slow, and hoping to pick up the pace soon.
And lastly a praise! Many of you know I tutor two wonderful girls in German. (they are 7 and 9). Well, the 9 year old accepted Christ last week and will follow through with baptism this Sunday!! So exciting.
Love you all,
Lara Cho.
Well, so much has changed since we arrived in San Angelo since the Christmas break. It feels as if we have been going nonstop since our arrival here. Seth and I have been asked to help with a plant of a satellite campus for our church. Seth will be the Administrative Staff, doing much of what the Administrative Pastor does for our live campus. I was asked to be the nursery/preschool director... I know what to expect and have no idea what to expect in the same breath, but excited to see where Father takes both of us through this. I was so humbled by our church, because they knew 1) that I was interested in children's ministry and 2) that seth felt called to the ministry, and is very business minded. They definitely have taken both of us under their wings and are mentoring us as a couple. It's such a blessing.
However, through this all, I am becoming broken for the city of San Angelo. I'm so excited to see who Father brings to The Venue. I'm excited for the community he has been preparing to build. I cannot wait to see people come to know him, and I'm excited to pray for and look out for each child who is in the children's ministry.
Also, I feel like many of my prayers have been answered from last year. Last year I felt like I had zero friends. I felt needy and lonely, even though I was about to marry my best friend, but I prayed, and asked close friends (who live in the DFW area) to pray that Father would bring women into my life. Oh, has he done that. Through a college-girls bible study, I have grown close to so many girls around my age, and not necessarily in the same stage of life as me, which i believe is important. I always want to be able to be mentored by people who are a step ahead of me, those who are many steps ahead of me and able to mentor (and learn from) women who are younger than me or at way different stages of life as me. I'm also meeting many at church, from being there and working there... women who work there as well as mom's of the children I watch. I am so blessed by their kindness. In fact, today I am going to a baking club. I don't know everyone there, but excited about new relationships (as well as learning some cool new good things to bake)!
Also, if you did not have the chance to read our support letter I posted on facebook, Seth and I have been given the chance to serve in New Zealand for about 10 days. We are excited to take this step of obedience, as well as many others.
I've also been very encouraged to give what I have to the poor. I'm spending this week and the ones following "spring cleaning" and plan to donate many clothes and items I have at home to those who could benefit them a lot more. I was very much thinking about doing this, then when reading a lesson to teach my tuesday/thursday group of kids, I was convicted by the widow who gave Elijah bread when she had barely any for herself. (found in 1 Kings). So that journey of sorting items has begun. I'm going a little slow, and hoping to pick up the pace soon.
And lastly a praise! Many of you know I tutor two wonderful girls in German. (they are 7 and 9). Well, the 9 year old accepted Christ last week and will follow through with baptism this Sunday!! So exciting.
Love you all,
Lara Cho.
I guess blogging hasn't really been my forte lately. Whether it has been time, life, being married or just plain busy and not having "time for technology," I cannot tell you the answer. I think working for and writing for a newspaper certainly gave me quite the burn out when it came to writing, that writing for myself seemed not what it used to be. Oh well.
Today, I was given the rare opportunity to spend time with my good friend Damaris Campos, Jessie Holley (who is related to Buddy Holly... even though his Holly doesn't have an 'e' in it - long story, for another post, and Laura, who i don't know her last name, but she looks like she could be turkish, or iranian or afghanish, but she's actually mexican. We went Christmas Light - Seeing, in Highland Park, the ritzy, swanky area of DFW.
Today, I was given the rare opportunity to spend time with my good friend Damaris Campos, Jessie Holley (who is related to Buddy Holly... even though his Holly doesn't have an 'e' in it - long story, for another post, and Laura, who i don't know her last name, but she looks like she could be turkish, or iranian or afghanish, but she's actually mexican. We went Christmas Light - Seeing, in Highland Park, the ritzy, swanky area of DFW.
It was so much fun, even though I was in super hyper, goofy mode. I miss that Lara sometimes. Now I'm always serious. I need to find the balance.
I'm learning so much from Father these days, being tested, learning in my selfishness and humanness - that i am selfish and human <3 and learning to trust not myself, not my family, but in Christ. I long to be in his word even more. I've started to memorize verses, a practice that is good for me in learning more of who he is. .. a practice of hiding his word in my heart.
I was encouraged today by this comic:
Also very encouraged by this 'article'
http://onfaith.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/mark_driscoll/2010/12/what_we_tell_our_kids_about_santa.html
MERRY CHRISTMAS!! - Lara Cho
Well goodness, I sure did forget about my blog didn't I? Can i just tell you how much Christ has been teaching me, since the last time I wrote. He really has used Kay Arthur, through a study I'm doing with some women at church to draw me to spend time and rest in the book of Hebrews - and truly convict me about 'shrinking back' from my faith. You, see the people that Hebrews is written to, were strong in their faith and then after persecution, they shrunk back. They went from milk to solid food, back to milk. i so could relate to that. I was reminded so much of the importance of resting in the word of Father - I was reminded of taking every situation in particular that I go through and lining it up with the word of Christ.
<3 Last night I made pumpkin muffins.
<3 Last night I made pumpkin muffins.
