My heart burns at 23 weeks...
4:11 AM
How Far Along? 23 weeks, 1 day
Symptoms: acid reflux and more acid reflux. Round ligament pain (blech).
Sleep: ehh. I'm tired often.
Food Cravings: carbs & fruit
Best Moment This Week: feeling Watson kick and hiccup
Movement: He moves often - he, of course, stops when I talk ;-)
Gender: Boy!!
Belly Button In Or Out? Not out yet! (almost there though)
What I Miss: sleep.
What I Am Looking Forward To: In the next week: Going to dinner with the people from my pregnancy class (yay June 2014 babies). When Watson is here: kissing my baby on his sweet nose.
Milestones: Baby is still "active" according to the midwife-- his heart beat was 147 last week! I also made significant progress on what will be the nursery!
Weekly Wisdom: Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Psalm 127:4. I pray that Watson will be an "arrow child." If you have time, please take it to read this article by Doug Wilson: Raising Arrow Children
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| The day of the worst round ligament pain in the world. Seriously. I thought I was going to die in the middle of the foyer of church we were visiting in Vancouver. |
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| The first of many adorable clothes Seth and I got for Watson together. |
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| Progress on the nursery! It's simple, but it's wonderful. There is some more organization on the horizon as well as adding some decor on the walls. |
Recently, a mentor and friend of our family, of whom I have [of course] not kept in touch with like I should, posted the following on her facebook:
Although I'm not even sure if I indicated any like or agreement to this quote when it was posted, I've been "chewing on it" for the past few days. If you look down the road of my life, it is broken. It has been tough, my heart has been broken and my faith has wavered from emotional, to logical, confused, tolerant and complacent. Within the past year and a half, I've come to a new understanding of the gospel I've heard so many times before - the same gospel that I've shared with many. God has opened my eyes to the pride that exists in my heart. The pride that often, in my case, fleshes itself out as insecurity. He has broken me of anxiety, that although it still manifests itself occasionally, has very much lessened as I've grown in maturity. God has shown me that I struggle with feeling worthless, and due to this seek to find my value in other people, therefore my feelings are hurt easily, or I live my life to please others. I'm on this amazing journey of truly finding my worth in Christ, instead of just knowing that it's there with my head. Oh I'm so thankful that I was led to this.
The thing with this quote is is that it reminds me how thankful I am that God holds my past, present and future. I'm thankful those times of brokenness led me to now (which really, I'm still broken). Even though my job as a staff writer and managing editor at a university paper and local paper almost massacred my passion for writing for myself, I'm thankful I had those jobs, so I could sit in a few student government meetings, roll my eyes at the student body president and his not-so-witty remarks, and eventually fall in in love with the same man. I'm blessed to be carrying the son of the man I've married and I'm blessed that he stays with me, even when I'm too emotional, or it seems really hard. I'm thankful that God has given me a man who does an excellent job of loving me and caring for me, and most importantly a man who loves God more than he loves me. We think we know what we want - we try to control all things, or we think we need to figure out what we want - but really, God has all those things in his hand. I long to draw near to God, to sit at his feet, drink from the cup in his hand. I want to be overwhelmed by His love.
I already consider myself a mommy to Watson. In 4 months, I will get to hold him and experience a new love I probably can't even imagine.. a little, small taste of how God loves us. I'm nervous to enter the world of parenthood. I'm nervous I will crack under pressure and I'll fall prey and victim to things like postpartum depression - (that just seems like something I would do).. but I'm being drawn to pray for those things now-- I'm being drawn to hand those things to Jesus and realize that Watson, is His, that I am His, and that this family, is His.
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