I've been through a week of classes, more paperwork, and STILL more to come, and a visa meeting on Monday (which hopefully will be the last one). I've still had those hours and minutes that I become so lonesome and feel as if this life is worth nothing, that I'm unworthy and aching, hurting and longing for home, but I have other moments and hours in which I am fine. Today was particularly difficult, but after I get past the bump of the day, I begin to realize what exactly Father is doing. So many times i want to question and say, "Lara, where is your faith?" But it is there... I have faith, and trust, it's just abiding in Christ... and allowing him to take ahold of my heart. Allowing myself to be vulnerable to him.

I'm finding myself less confident in my german speaking skills rather than more confident and that scares me. I'm trying to find the time and discipline to study on my own. As I was studying yesterday I found myself ashamed of myself for not knowing some things that are so simple... but that is what learning language entails... learning the simple things.. .sometimes years later. Life is like that too.. i'm learning as well.

I have met some wonderful wonderful people here. Many from England who have invited me into their community, and have gotten into conversations with me about life, love, happiness, sadness, failures, successes, joys and hopes... Father truly has directed many of the conversations and it's my prayer that He will continue to decrease anything that is of me, and increase himself.

I'm attending the International Bible Church here. I have met so many wonderful people, in particular M and S. Already Father has used both in my life and i'm so eager to see how he grows the relationships.

I'm also really excited to hear from the folks in Hamburg how things are going, especially with the love club (see past entries from this summer). Father is doing something HUGE.

I'm learning, I'm maturing. I still have many doubts and worries and stresses, yet I love being here, and I love the culture, I love the life here, even though there are days where my fleshly concerns and failures get to me...

Thank you guys for reading this...

Lara <3>