I'm learning that I seek to find comfort in people and situations, and when all the familiar faces are gone, when all the situations are out of my control, I am lost, I break and collapse. I find myself trying to seek the comfort of Christ, but i find myself having a difficult time doing so. I'm tired of being so depressed, and sad, and down, I want to be happy, I long for that... but many times I don't know where to begin. All I knew has been stripped away, and I have to come before Christ and allow myself vulnerable to him. I'm learning something huge. I'm learning what it feels like to want someone's whole self, and not being able to obtain that. Wanting to hear things, and longing to be acknowledged, EVEN when you know the things you want to hear are thought, you want them voiced. Does Christ feel like this with me? I want Christ to have my full heart, but I think sometimes as I hold my heart out, I am clutching it and not willing to let go.

It's been 18 days, and I'm growing....

Lara