Hey everyone, I want to thank those of you who knew about the apparent "falling out" of my summer, I thank you for your prayers, your concerns, and your encouragement. This past week has been so up and down and my emotions really cannot take much more. After I sent an email to those of you in my prayer list email (if you'd like to be a part of that email and don't get my monthly updates-- let me know; i'm not really sure if they are as exciting as they are wordy--) I spent most of my day in tears wondering what exactly God was trying to teach me through all this. I felt so sure that Hamburg was were I was supposed to spend my summer. Part of the day, I actually convinced myself that God doesn't need me, nor does he want me. Eventually, I found myself through my tears and mixed feelings realizing I was succombing to the devil's lies he constantly whispers in my ears. After journaling and reading some I finally became content with the idea of staying home for the summer; after all-- I will be back in Germany in October for schooling. Yesterday, my dad told me he bought me a round trip plane ticket for this summer.He was able to get it for $80 with frequent flier miles. (:-D) May 28th-August 28th. I am still going to Hamburg for the summer. The money raising is not over however. I still need to earn money to pay for things while i'm there- such as food and train tickets, insurance and some other necessary things I will be doing. Because the school year doesn't start until October, the German government won't allow me to have my residential permit; i.e. visa until then. Also- for the flier miles we had to buy a round trip ticket. Therefore August 28th-September 31 I will be back in America, hopefully earning/raising money for my second ticket to Germany. It's complicated and frustrating, but I know things are as they should be. The interruption into all my plans for this summer was one that was definitely needed. Wondering why this was happening, it made me realize what exactly "going" means and consists of. The divine interruption allowed me to re-evaluate myself and my intentions and why i'm going and even if I should be going. I'm growing and learning through all this; i've learned to simply trust God-- and that interruptions in our lives are truly divine. :)
It's paradoxical in a sense(did i just make up a word?) that there can be so few things going on and so many things going on at the same time. Father is doing something HUGE where I am right now. What exactly that is, I'm unsure (which is usually the case). There are days that I feel nothing is happening, that I'm simply trying to get through the day to get to the next... I hate having this attitude!!
Spring Break is coming up and for this i'm truly thankful. Sure, it'll be full of getting things done such as dentist appointments, and bridal showers (for my sister), and getting my visa (hopefully this will go well)...
My heart is sometimes anxious and worried but I have full confidence in who I'm serving. :)
Lara
Spring Break is coming up and for this i'm truly thankful. Sure, it'll be full of getting things done such as dentist appointments, and bridal showers (for my sister), and getting my visa (hopefully this will go well)...
My heart is sometimes anxious and worried but I have full confidence in who I'm serving. :)
Lara
