What is your legacy?

It's my second day here, and already Father is doing things beyond what I could ask or imagine. Yesterday, in the midst of my jet lag, I realized that I am exactly where i'm supposed to be. I spent the day with S, and she made sure i was staying awake. We had amazing conversations about the past year, what the summer will hold and what is happening right now. I also have spent a great deal of time with the team that is here. They are a team from SBU (2 of which were students of the Dr. Billy Victor)-- and it's been great getting to know their hearts and see the passion they have for JC.

I want to be able to stand up for what I believe in more. I know I am a sinner and I'm dirty and I fail all the time, but I'm longing to be free-- I'm longing to be cleansed. I long for Father to be so present in not only my life, but the lives of every single person I come in contact with. I long to need him and to pray to him. I'm longing for a passion so fervent, and so overwhelming...

Today two divine appointments happened. I won't go into detail mainly due to lack of time-- but it's a major praise and I can't even thank God enough for the contacts he has given the team.

I'm excited...

It’s 10:48, and the day has just begun. I enjoy this… waking up late, getting to work, feeling relaxed…. But it’s those feelings that make me nervous, because I have exams tomorrow and I have failed to study as well as i should.Other things are on my mind. Last night, Sara and her fiancé Sean and I sat outside for what seemed like only a few minutes and gazed at the night sky. A firework show; put on by the creator himself was dawning. It was magnificent. The lightening quickly became the best light show I had ever seen. We stood there in silence breathing in the beauty. Less than 12 hours later I find myself thinking back to the moment, smiling at how we were mesmerized and thanking Father for the hope he has given me in him.My worries about silly things are fading, and I’m glad. Things are changing quickly. In 20 days, I will be in Hamburg. Many think it sounds exciting, and while yes it will be, it’ll also be the hardest work I’ve ever done… and I’ll never be fully ready for what’s ahead. I got my traveler's insurance today... so that's exciting. :)

As I read Matthew 10, I am filled with compassion. I find it interesting that Jesus says "Go nowhere among the Gentiles, and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." (v. 5) I'm nervous about Hamburg. I have no idea what is in store, what my duties will be, if any. Who I'll meet, and how I'll invest in people. I know I will begin to learn the city, that as I learn the city, I will learn the community. Father will put relationships in my life that are unlike any I've ever had. I know I'll be put through challenges and I'll probably even get frustrated. I pray that I keep a good attitude, that I do this all out of love for Father. That i don't get caught up in the logistical things or the "drama" but more so in the country, and the passion I have for meeting others in Father's name. I want to meet with people, not only the locals but those coming in, those already there. I long for team unity, and I pray against division. I pray against distractions, and lies of the devil. I'm there to serve Father. I know "everything" with my head, I long to know them with my heart. I pray that i'm over there for the right reasons. I'm not there for me. I'm not there to be in Germany. I'm not there to learn the language (although i hope my language skills get better). I'm there to serve Father, that he might use me, mold me, break me, fill me... and teach me. That he will diminish me until there is no me left- only him. That he will work through me. When people look at me, i don't want them to see me. i want them to see Father. And I know these are cliche phrases, but I want them to be REAL, i am praying them from the bottom of my heart.


If you asked me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

If you ask me to run
And carry your light into foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from satan's hand

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
and to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability