Marriage. It ain't easy. But, it's edifying. It draws us nearer to Christ. Through it, I've learned more about the character of Father. I'm very much in love with my husband. Absolutely 100% in love with him. But, I sometimes fail to show this and show it well.
Before I met Seth, a previous guy during his break up speech told me that I needed a man, not a coward like himself (his words, not mine). I needed someone strong and I needed someone who could protect me and lead me well. I was so mad and confused when I heard those words from this one guy that I didn't really comprehend this guy's heart behind those words - and honestly, I didn't really want to. But later, as my emotions calmed down and I was able to think clearly, that became my prayer. For a man who could lead me Biblically. For a man who would love me like Jesus loves the church.
Seth isn't perfect. He loves me well when I don't love him well. When I had/have panic attacks, he holds me until I calm down. When I am in the deepest pit, sure he gets frustrated, but I know that most of that frustration stems from having a wife who is hurting. He's never leaving me. I know and understand this reality and I am thankful for it.
When I was younger I had lies spoken into my heart. I would never make a man happy. I would never have a good relationship with my husband. Because of these lies, I have struggled to love Seth well and be the wife God calls me to be.
Seth isn't the man that matches up to my list of "must haves" from high school... and that's because God knows my needs and my heart better than I do. I never thought I'd marry a man 18 inches taller than me. I never thought that one of my biggest struggles in my marriage would be that I can't really hug my husband "whenever I want" because of our height difference. I never thought I'd marry a man who will do anything to protect me and guard me and lead our family in the way Father would have us go.
We are two sinners, who mess up a LOT but standing on the foundation that is Christ, who, loves us, forgives us, and teaches us more and more about himself. Thankful for my marriage. Thankful for Seth. Thankful for Jesus. Thankful for Gospel Truth.
I'm thankful for friendship. True. Honest. None Judgment. Godly Rebuking. Friendship. And one of the blessings of being in Seattle, is that God is answering my prayer for friendship. Now, flying into Seattle, this was my prayer. That, we would find this. That our community would spur us on toward truth. That would call us out when we needed that, friends that wouldn't shy away from the truth of the gospel for the sake of well... self righteousness, pride, what have you. Now, I want to be careful when I say that because I think.. no, I know that I have had friends like this in the past... I don't want to communicate with you that Seattle is the land of true and good friends, because it's not. My understanding of the gospel has changed, so my heart toward friendship has changed. In the past, I had friends like this, but I 1. lacked maturity and 2. I didn't have the heart to know and understand the love behind some of those friendships because of the hurt of friendships past. OR those friends never were in the same place as me *cough* +Damaris Campos Well. anyway, prayer was answered...but not as I expected, because well, God is funny that way. We moved across the country. God changed my heart and understanding and love for the gospel in a way that I could have never imagined. He is maturing me in many different ways and I can truly say my ears were opened more and my eyes can see clearer...
Originally I thought, well, God will give me some amazing pacific north west friends, right? Well, he has. Our community group is solid. We are certainly family. I adore my coworker. God has used her to spur me on toward truth... she's honest with me and loving and there is no judgment, but there is that "I think you might be dealing with pride and may need to repent of that" conversations.
Also, as of late, I am completely blessed by a friend who I never knew before moving to Seattle, yet is from the same wonderful city of San Angelo. We know many of the same people. My dad knows their dad (father-in-law). I just can't put my head around how God worked this out. I love the road we both took across the country to work for the same church, having no idea the other existed. God completely placed this friendship together, and I'm blessed to have yet another friend who spurs me on toward truth - toward the gospel. That says, I think what you're dealing with is "self-righteousness" or "bitterness." (*etc). I'm thankful for the friends here - in community group, in kids min, at my job, my friendship with Loren- I"m thankful for the friends who direct me to look full in Father's face. <3 I could go on forever. I'm not even sure this makes complete sense. But that's that, my friends.
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| A photograph my mom took at the Ballard Locks |
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| Dad at the Ballard Locks |
Today I got to see my parents for the first time since July. I need to confess that I used to think my parents didn't know how to do "vacation," - we typically don't go out to eat. We do normal every day things and don't really sight see. Museums? who goes to those? So, I knew having my parents here would simply mean - we were going to do every day, normal things and enjoy time together.
Today was amazing. God taught me so much through simple things we did. Bare with me as I walk you quickly through our day. We woke up. My mom and I made a pot roast We took Seth to work. Then, we sat and had a cup of coffee at Java Jahn in Ballard. Dad read the news and worked on a sudoku, and spent probably 20 minutes speaking to Siri in German on my phone. Mom worked some type of word puzzle. Then, we left to go to Discovery Park. It was raining. So, we decided to go to Costco... where we bought tons and tons of fruit. and more oatmeal. THEN, we ate a sandwich in the car and went to Discovery park. My dad ran (as he has a marathon on Whidbey Island Sunday morning) and my mom and I just walked and talked and marveled at how creative our God is - my how beautiful is creation.
We then accidentally ended up at the Ballard Locks and we simply enjoyed the beauty of that gorgeous place. By the time we finished there it was perfect time for us to go by Trader Joes and then pick up Seth from work. My dad made sure the secretaries at Mars Hill Central will never forget him (oh that personality). We came home. We finished preparing dinner. We ate.
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| Ships at the Ballard Locks |
Now the boys are at REI and my mom and I just finished speaking to my sister +Megan Murray on google talk and are now preparing for our picnic we *cross our fingers* will work out for tomorrow. We plan to meet Landon and Loren at Golden Gardens and enjoy the beach.
We didn't go to Pike Place Market today. (we might still do that). We didn't go see the space needle.. and it was OKAY! We took the day as it came and it was beautiful. God allowed me good conversation with my mom as we drank a glass of wine and prepared dinner. God allowed me to see some of why I am the way I am as my mom and I relished in the creation of our heavenly Father as my earthly father whistled at us as he ran by (sweating like a pig). Oh, how I am thankful. Today was only day one of their visit. Praying the rest of the short time they are here is just as rewarding.
Thankful for Spring Breaks. Thankful for family.
I never thought I would say I was thankful for Report Cards and Parent Teacher conferences. Oh, but I am. I get to sit, drink coffee and reflect on how faithful Father has been to answer prayer requests. And THEN I get to sit with parents and talk about how God is working in the lives of their children - and we get to laugh and cry and relish in the power of the gospel. God is allowing me to see how amazing it is to get to witness the heart change and growth in these children. I get to sit and reflect on how the gospel has the power to change lives and redirect that natural bend we have toward sin, back toward the saving power and grace of Jesus Christ.
A year ago, I had no clue if I was going to be able to work in Seattle or even find a job. Those who followed and know the amazing story of how God literally picked me up off the ground and placed me into the classroom at SCCS know that none of this could have been possible without God. He wanted us here. He went before us. Seth and I cannot deny that God wants us in this city for a purpose.
If I were to tell you the overarching theme of this past year I would say: I have grown in the gospel through watching and participating in the gospel with a group of 7 year olds. So, I get this amazing opportunity to partner with their parents in building a foundation of 1. the love of the gospel and 2. the love of learning into the hearts and minds of these children. I get the chance to cry with a parent over a child's struggle with pride and confidence. And then, on the reverse side of that thought I absolutely love sitting with a parent and our eyes being opened to the realization that a child broken free from the chains of perfectionism and pride and confidence. I love that I have had the opportunity to spend time in prayer with parents for knowledge to direct their children to the arms of Jesus.
If I were to tell you the overarching theme of this past year I would say: I have grown in the gospel through watching and participating in the gospel with a group of 7 year olds. So, I get this amazing opportunity to partner with their parents in building a foundation of 1. the love of the gospel and 2. the love of learning into the hearts and minds of these children. I get the chance to cry with a parent over a child's struggle with pride and confidence. And then, on the reverse side of that thought I absolutely love sitting with a parent and our eyes being opened to the realization that a child broken free from the chains of perfectionism and pride and confidence. I love that I have had the opportunity to spend time in prayer with parents for knowledge to direct their children to the arms of Jesus.
I recently gave a speech at our school's fundraiser. It expresses what is going on in my heart as I work on these report cards:
Yesterday, I planned to come and tell you tonight about a
student, who I have seen grow tremendously in many different areas academically
and spiritually, but before I explained all these areas in which she has grown,
I decided it would be wise to pull this student aside to see if she realizes
what God has done in her life this year.
So, during recess I asked her, “What have you learned the most this year?”
She looked straight at me and said, “I have grown in the gospel.”
I wasn’t even expecting that answer from an 8-year-old.
I asked her what that meant to her, and she said she understands more of who Jesus is.
So, we sat there and we started to dissect her year together.
Those times she felt lonely? God used his story to remind her that she is not alone. He is always with her.
Those times she had a bad attitude over an assignment she didn’t want to do? She remembered that Jesus revealed her selfishness and her need for a rescuer.
The time she got into a disagreement with a friend? We remembered together how God revealed her pride, and how God used that time to show her true humility and weakness. We remembered that Jesus walked through humiliation perfectly so that even when we succumb to our pride, we have his good reputation.
What about that time when she pretended she didn’t know how to do her math assignments just so she could get the attention of her teacher? The gospel even applied to this situation. We talked about the first lie that Satan told Adam and Eve—that God’s love wasn’t enough for them. He convinced them they needed more than God’s love.
But could she also see God working in the every day things? “What about at recess?” He provides rest and fun and laughter.
In math, as she practices her multiplication facts, she hears about how perfect God is.
In phonics she hears how creative God must be to give the letter e so many jobs. By simply adding an e to a word, all the sounds in a word can change!
As she says a chant about ants working underground, she hears Proverbs 6:6: “Go to the ant, you sluggard, remember his ways and be wise.”
Truth surrounds her.
As I stand back and see that this child has grown academically, she has grown in self-control, in love and good deeds, in maturity, I see the message of the gospel fully covering this child.
So, during recess I asked her, “What have you learned the most this year?”
She looked straight at me and said, “I have grown in the gospel.”
I wasn’t even expecting that answer from an 8-year-old.
I asked her what that meant to her, and she said she understands more of who Jesus is.
So, we sat there and we started to dissect her year together.
Those times she felt lonely? God used his story to remind her that she is not alone. He is always with her.
Those times she had a bad attitude over an assignment she didn’t want to do? She remembered that Jesus revealed her selfishness and her need for a rescuer.
The time she got into a disagreement with a friend? We remembered together how God revealed her pride, and how God used that time to show her true humility and weakness. We remembered that Jesus walked through humiliation perfectly so that even when we succumb to our pride, we have his good reputation.
What about that time when she pretended she didn’t know how to do her math assignments just so she could get the attention of her teacher? The gospel even applied to this situation. We talked about the first lie that Satan told Adam and Eve—that God’s love wasn’t enough for them. He convinced them they needed more than God’s love.
But could she also see God working in the every day things? “What about at recess?” He provides rest and fun and laughter.
In math, as she practices her multiplication facts, she hears about how perfect God is.
In phonics she hears how creative God must be to give the letter e so many jobs. By simply adding an e to a word, all the sounds in a word can change!
As she says a chant about ants working underground, she hears Proverbs 6:6: “Go to the ant, you sluggard, remember his ways and be wise.”
Truth surrounds her.
As I stand back and see that this child has grown academically, she has grown in self-control, in love and good deeds, in maturity, I see the message of the gospel fully covering this child.
The Socratic Method, on which Classical Education stems, is
based on the idea that that there is a truth, it can be known and it can be
explained. The gospel is the only truth there is.
My hope and prayer is that every student who walks through Seattle Classical Christian School would see every situation they encounter through the lens of the truth that is the gospel.
My hope and prayer is that every student who walks through Seattle Classical Christian School would see every situation they encounter through the lens of the truth that is the gospel.
These children love the Lord. They are growing in the grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Savior... and I'm so blessed to be privy to part of that process. About a week ago, we were discussing that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. A student piped up, "Mrs. Chomout? If Jesus died on the cross for our sins, why do we still sin?" Before I had the chance to answer, another little girl piped up and stole the words right out of my mouth. "We live in a broken world," she said. "Until Jesus comes back, there will be sin and we will struggle with it. That's why we NEED (big emphasis on need) Jesus." Out of the mouth of a 7 year old.
So what was my take away from this experience? Amazement at how well this little girl quickly knew the answer? Amazement at how well she has been trained in the word? I took a little of that away. But, my main take away, Jesus whispered in my ears, "Lara. Let the little children come to me. Do NOT hinder them."
Believe that God is strong enough to save your children, no matter how you fail. Believe that he is loving enough to bring them all the way into relationship with himself... and believe that he is wise enough to know the right way and the right time to do it. What do you need to do? Simply believe. In the words of Martin Luther, "The law says 'do this,' and it is never done. Grace says 'believe in this,' and everything is already done." Everything is already done. Can you believe that? Will you? - Elyse Fitzpatrick, "Give them Grace."
When I began to write in this blog at 20 years of age, little did I know that I would 6 years later, live in Seattle. Do I work for the newspaper? no. Oh, then surely the news station? Uhm nope. I teach first grade. Wait what? I live in Seattle. I teach first grade. My husband and I live in Seattle. Husband. +Seth Chomout is my husband. Six years ago, I would have said I was never getting married - six years ago, I begged God to teach me what it means to love - I of course, probably thought it would be comfortable and fun and like a huge engulfing hug - while in the same breath I would write deep, graphic poetry that displayed dirtiness and forgiveness and it meant something to me, but still, wasn't reality - I didn't understand it.
Here's the deal. I didn't find my identity in Christ. I found it in my writing. I found it in the fact that I liked cool indie music, that I wore vans and that I had a nose ring before it was cool. I found it in the fact that I loved everyone and they could sin all the want, but they were still loved by me! I didn't understand redemption fully. I didn't understand true repentance. I knew the words of the gospel, but I didn't know its power. I didn't know and understand GRACE. There came a point in my journey to find out what it means to love that I felt as if the world had grabbed my heart, taken a hammer and smashed it to bits. Friends. It SUCKED.
If you click through the blog posts of Lara Chomout's (Johnson's) past, you'll see a tiny bit that hurt. You'll hear my tears dripping off the posts as I describe rocking back and forth in my tiny german closet sobbing. You'll hear me speaking through the prostitutes and the harlots of the bible and identifying with them - but do you really hear of the redemption of Christ? I stopped blogging. I stopped writing real posts, and instead I tried to ignore all thoughts and emotions. I couldn't identify what was going on in my heart, so instead I tried to put all my burdens on the shoulders of my sweet husband, instead of the shoulders of Christ, which is what he calls us to do.
So, that's what I want to say to you today. I have been redeemed. When Christ looks at me, he calls me His and sees no blemish, no spot, he doesn't see a whore, a prostitute, a sinner - he sees perfection.. and I don't deserve that. He carries my burdens. He picks up the pieces of my heart, dusts them off, places it back together.
Guys, Sometimes I still wear my vans. I still listen to Page France, The Fruit Bats, Alexi Murdoch and Bishop Allen serenade me as I drive through the rainy weather of Seattle. But. that's not what people see when they look at me anymore.
There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed ones of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Till all the ransomed ones of God,
Be saved to sin no more.
E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save:
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save.
Drawn from Immanuel's veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed ones of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Till all the ransomed ones of God,
Be saved to sin no more.
E'er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save:
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing Thy power to save.
