Those words have been pulsing through my heart, mind and veins lately. "A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul."
I came here, to my blog, aching to write about pregnancy or what's going on in my life, or maybe how I'm realizing lately that our culture/generation (including myself) is passive aggressive and how much that hurts and cuts to the heart; but now that I'm here, I can't even decide what to write, or what's even appropriate... but that verse, that verse keeps coming to mind.
We are still in limbo, waiting, sometimes patiently, sometimes not, for our little family to get to move into our new home. Oh what a sweet day that will be. Seth has had to remind me this past week, that we are in a period of rest, and to enjoy the time we have to rest before we are back in the daily rhythm and routine of life.I am 19 weeks today - almost halfway there. We find out in about a week's time what the gender is. We're excited, and of course, will be happy either way. I was telling my sweet sister in law that I can't imagine not having a boy, so I see it being a boy, but then again, I can't imagine any boy other than Watson, so maybe I see it being a girl. I told her, it's all a bit confusing, really. But, as she reminded me, as soon as we know who is inside my womb, as soon as we meet that sweet little boy or girl, we won't be able to imagine life without him or her - and that's so true.
I do worry about my sweet Watson. I worry how he will adjust to the change, especially after our life has been a whole whirlwind of change the past 5 months. I know he will be the best big brother. I see this as he rocks his sweet stuffies to sleep each night and sings to them. I know this as he sees me in tears, and he comes over and kisses me and hands me his favorite stuffed animal. Even when he was in my womb, I referred to him as the big brother. That's NOT his destiny/his only purpose in life, but God meant for my sweet baby Watson, to be the big brother. I know he will love well, torment well ;-), be friends to and cherish his friendship with his little brother or sister. Yet, still, I cannot believe we only have 5 months for him to be the tiniest baby of the family.As far as the physical aspect of pregnancy goes, I finally feel myself, after a really hard first trimester. I am struggling with heart burn, but that's normal for me (and they myth isn't true- Watson had practically zero hair when he was born). My sciatic nerve doesn't like me too much, and our bed is a mattress on the floor - which is getting harder to get in and out of every day (oh how I can't wait for a real bed!) I finally am feeling some kicks here and there, but I can't wait until I can feel the baby from the outside and not just the inside. And for you 90s kids; the baby is approximately the size of a gameboy.
Some things I'm looking forward to:
1. I get to get a pedicure with my sweet sweet cousin Lynsey next week.
2. I get to have brunch with another cousin (Erica) and her boys (I guess I should confirm that)
3. We get to trick or treat with my cousin Monica and her sweet boy on Halloween (I'm just realizing how many things I'm doing with cousins next weekend)
4. We get to find out the gender of this sweet baby.
5. We get to visit San Angelo, see our potential new house and hopefully get more clarity about the whens and the whats of moving in.
6.I'm going to Boston to visit my sweet friend Caitlin after San Angelo.
7. I get to spend a week or so in Dallas at my mom's house - babysitting Grandma, but still! ;)
8. Thanksgiving. Although we have no idea what is even happening for Thanksgiving... but I do know that that week I am hopeful we will get to see my sweet friends Loren and Landon, and I can't wait to hug their necks and geek out over Anne of Green Gables, if time allows.
