Stepping off the moving car, and setting foot on solid ground, slowly walking up the stairs to the entrance. Staring into space, as tears collect, as there are sights seen that are better left unimagined. The smell of fresh bread fills the air and to the left a man is digging through the trash. He pulls out a piece of bread, realizes it's hard and stale, but shrugs his shoulders and takes a huge bite. "Schmeckts" He nods his approval as he sees eyes watching. There's laughter.
Prayer. Prayer for direction. Noticing we're nothing but mere mortal men... tears, hope, aching, and sorrow lined with joy.
who is like Him? the lion and the lamb, seated on the throne?
Prayer. Prayer for direction. Noticing we're nothing but mere mortal men... tears, hope, aching, and sorrow lined with joy.
who is like Him? the lion and the lamb, seated on the throne?
there is a longing in me that I don't quite understand, i can't place what the longing is for.. or why I have it. Sometimes it makes me want to cry.
In exactly a week I will be flying to Dallas. Just as every year, i wonder where the time went. 3 months since I've been here, and Father has grown and stretched me and taught me so many things... and I love him for it. Before coming, in April I had written in my journal ' i don't understand your love, nor do i understand how to love... put a Hosea in my life, and show me your love...help me to learn your love.' This summer, not remembering that prayer the theme has certainly been one of pursuing love, of learning more of who Father is and how he loves us... sure, it'll always be a lesson. There's a song by Jason Mraz that began playing while listening to my music on shuffle that says "it takes a second to fall in love but it takes a lifetime to learn what love is." I let that sink in awhile, because that is what God is teaching me. I'm excited to go home and see people and get necessary things done, but today has been so good for me, in that Father is putting an eagerness and a desire to be in Hannover -- something that I so need. As I was looking through old photos from when i came to Deutschland in 2004, i began to realize that soon I will be living in a flat, with room mates i know nothing about from all over the world, going to class all in german and being placed inside of a culture that i've always been outside of here... i'm so excited to be a university student... i'm excited about what Father will do, and how he'll teach me MORE of his love. The photo i've posted is from 2004, it is right infront of the main mensa (cafeteria), which is right in the nahe (in the vicinity) of where I will live. Hannover is different than many of the places i've been in Germany in that it is definitely a college town. In Koln and Hamburg, yes there are universities, but the university isn't the main focal point... and in Hannover, though it's the smallest, it's the place where i've met more internationals who are there for the soul purpose of studying. .. i mean they are in the other places too... who knows really-- It seemed so much easier to meet people in Hannover, but perhaps it's the situation, and the culture. I really couldn't tell you.
Yesterday, I rode the bike for about 5k... it was fun! i don't like that i can't ride on the sidewalk if there isn't a bike path though, and i hate being near cars-- luckily i think the ride from the dorm to the university in hannover won't be too far of a ride. This picture definitely shows how short i am.. I only crashed once, and it was an understandable crash-- definitely not my fault. Ha if you make the photo bigger you can see the dirt on my shirt.. but i walked away with only a bruise.. i'm good. Anyway, i'm blessed to have been given a bike, and not only a bike but a blue one-- because as my german class, and Dr. Packer and Die Prinzen note... blue bikes are the best. I think the bike will help me build confidence. not only in riding but in my life as well... that's a weird concept, i know, but it makes sense. Yesterday was a nice day to ride though, we rode through a nearby cornfield and by horses, and every person who was out said hello to us! (that is rare, my friends...rare.) Anyway, today and tomorrow are days that will be spent prayer walking and getting some errands done. Thursday I'll meet a lady who is here as an M and lives very near Hannover, and another kid who is studying there for a semester.Thank you guys for everything!
i'll probably update again soon
Lajo
Something Father has taught me this summer is how laughter even during the hard times is good. I've come to the conclusion that laughter truly does help the heart... and it's amazing how the laughter of others is truly contagious. Today I've spent the morning reading my journals and was reminded of many instances when Father spoke to me through laughter and through child-like spirits. There was a day when I was babysitting that I allowed J's youngest to sit on my lap and watch bob the builder on my laptop while the others did their thing. Soon we both found out that when you fast forward the video on my laptop the characters talk super fast and everything is in fast motion, both of us, began to laugh until our sides hurt. J - the 3 year old laughing at 'bob' and me, laughing as I enjoyed seeing the delight in his eyes. Soon, the others found out and all of us were laughing, as S and C laughed until they were almost crying I couldn't help but sit back and also giggle as well. I found delight in their delight. As I write this, I realize the same is true of Christ. He finds delight in our delight. He laughs with us, and also has the ability to sit back and smile on us.
In Acts, Cornelius, a Jew is praying and God tells him to send for Simon called Peter, and to listen to what he has to say. Meanwhile, Simon called Peter was given a vision in which he learns that everything that God has made is good and clean and pure. In the midst of the vision, the 3 men Cornelius has sent are at his house. Peter goes with them and he shares the news of Jesus with Cornelius, and he also shares and realizes how he has learned through this situation that all men are God's that they are all clean and pure, whether Jew or Gentile, etc. The reason I mention this is it's my prayer. There are so many who are good, who pray to God, and God is showing them and telling them ways to learn of his son Jesus... at the same time God is teaching and growing those who do call on his name in every situation. Cornelius and his household received true life, and at the same time Simon Peter and the circumcised believers learned there wasn't any difference between those circumcised and those not-- our God is a God of all nations. What is most amazing is how this story is being lived out still today, only names and characters have been changed. This is my prayer...
New... Life has been speaking of new things lately. C&S just got a new puppy, Buddy. His new life, the joy that he brings, and the smiles, the laughter that I've seen him bring a needed brightness into lives, those he belongs to and those who come into contact with him. It's amazing how Father can use something like a new puppy to make his name great, to ensue conversation, to direct conversation, and more.
I've been more than blessed this summer. Friends and family moving and those who have extra things have given me many needed/wanted/useful belongings of theirs for this next year. I am overwhelmed with their generosity, however as I was reading this morning in Acts i was reminded of them, as it spoke of the believers -- how they shared everything they had among each other. I am again reminded of this as a week ago we were sitting in the park and some beautiful Afghan ladies who had known us for maybe 3 minutes offered us their food they had prepared, they gave us pieces of their culture as we shared in conversation and laughter.
I was once again challenged in chapter 3 of Acts, when Peter and John are walking to the temple to pray. They pass a gate called Beautiful where a man in his 40s has daily begged for money. The man is blind, and they offer him true healing-- the healing of Christ, and the blind man can see... I was challenged in that 'their plans' were interrupted. They were going to pray, but God interrupted those plans... with plans of his own-- much bigger plans. I love that even to the end of chapter 4, the miracle that was done is still affecting so many. The healing of ONE man caused all this commotion. Amazing, really... if you stop and think about it. I was also REALLY challenged when Peter and John come back to report what had happened and the believers immediately began to pray for them and all that had happened to the sovereign Lord... and just the reminder as they prayed to the Lord who has the ability to outstretch his mighty arm. <3
i've also put a playlist of a few of the songs that God has been using in my life, whether through singing them at the IBC or them coming up while i'm praying....
"apart from me you can do nothing" - jesus, john 15
Closing eyes, breathing in deeply, the fragrance of the air fills her with life. She reaches her hands out, and grasps, but realizing her grip is only clutching the air passing by, she opens her eyes and lets the air hit her tired eyes. With a sigh, she breathes out, and slowly falls to her knees. "Strengthen my feeble arms and my weak knees, " she mutters as she pulls the elastic pony tail out her hair, allowing her hair to cover her face. The tears begin to fall and as she can taste their saltiness, she begins to shake at the thought of her unworthiness. Placing her hands on the floor in front of her, and bowing her head, her eyes close as her chin quivers from the sobs she holds back, she sees him... and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
(the last two sentences are from luke 7)
(the last two sentences are from luke 7)
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I’ve found in You
Lord I’ve come to know
The weakenesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
~ chorus ~
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I’ll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love
(repeat chorus twice)
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
(repeat
Please Pray for me as I try to get in contact with many of the girls i met before going to Koln and that we'll be able to get together, and not only get together but that all conversation that is 'of me' will be diminished and that Father will truly speak through me.
Yesterday was quite amazing. We spent time at the club, and a man came who is the leader of his 'group.' He said he IS a believer, and that he is glad that Christ is doing this in such a dark area of Germany... we are unsure if he really is a believer but he did say he was going to take and share what had happened to him to his group. I'm praying for him, that Christ would TRULY interrupt his life. Please continue to lift up this whole thing to Father. There are many aspects that are continuing to be learned daily.
Occasionally i'll go back and read blogs from a year ago to see what I was learning, and what has changed-- I read this today, and as it reminded me, I thought i'd share it again, so that in another year, I can again, be reminded ;-)
(the picture: I was given the chance to spend a few days in Holland with the interns, and the photo is one taken of the Canal from a window in Amsterdam. While in Amsterdam I met a really really beautiful girl from Israel, and I got to hear a lot of her story but didn't really share much of mine because things in the store got busy. I'm definitely praying for her that she would seek and know the joy of Father. What connected us was my nose piercing...who would have thunk it ;-))
Yesterday was quite amazing. We spent time at the club, and a man came who is the leader of his 'group.' He said he IS a believer, and that he is glad that Christ is doing this in such a dark area of Germany... we are unsure if he really is a believer but he did say he was going to take and share what had happened to him to his group. I'm praying for him, that Christ would TRULY interrupt his life. Please continue to lift up this whole thing to Father. There are many aspects that are continuing to be learned daily.
Occasionally i'll go back and read blogs from a year ago to see what I was learning, and what has changed-- I read this today, and as it reminded me, I thought i'd share it again, so that in another year, I can again, be reminded ;-)
I read Ezra today. I really love Ezra's reaction when he discovers how he has been sinning. He wept bitterly and loudly... he was truly broken and disgusted. Just reading his prayer of realization, the passion can be felt and even heard from the pages. However God continually revealed himself to Ezra and let him know he was not alone...and I was also greatly encouraged by the fact that Ezra listened to God by reading the scriptures... he was a man devoted to the word. He was a cool dude, and that's basically all there is to it. - August 8, 2006
(the picture: I was given the chance to spend a few days in Holland with the interns, and the photo is one taken of the Canal from a window in Amsterdam. While in Amsterdam I met a really really beautiful girl from Israel, and I got to hear a lot of her story but didn't really share much of mine because things in the store got busy. I'm definitely praying for her that she would seek and know the joy of Father. What connected us was my nose piercing...who would have thunk it ;-))
