Almost everyone I've worked with overseas has said, "I want to go without going through an organization." I'll even admit I have said these words, but right now as I sit here at working with tears in my eyes, I realize that not going through an organization is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Not only does it seem more impossible to raise all the money (having no idea how much I truly need), it's also discouraging because as I recieve emails from the M and relay that information to my dad, it just gets more confusing. When it was through an organization there was no question of what was going on. I guess they did all the "dirty work." It's hard, and frustrating and I feel like nothing will ever get accomplished; in fact I don't truly think i'm really going overseas and probably won't believe it until I'm actually there. I know this will all work out someway or another, God stays true to his promises. Perhaps his promise is just to teach me a lesson and I will end up not even going back to Germany.... regardless of his calling, I choose to be obedient.

I'm sitting her working on ediiting a story I had written 2 (almost 3) years ago about the calling Father placed on my heart in Japan, and as I re-word the work and better write some of these things, I realize images Father had put into my mind and memory those years ago. I realize how naieve I was, but also how trusting I was.

I'm praying for clarity and comfort this weekend. I'm tired of doubting and second-guessing God.


However this news is exciting: I found out the team in HB will be workign in Cologne for 2 weeks to help with Super Summer Global and Falls Creek. :)