You know, life can change so fast... one second it's one way and the next everything has changed. This isn't quite a new concept, but sometimes that change hits us slowly and sometimes it hits us in a matter of seconds. Your heart hurts, your face feels hot, you don't know what to think much less how to think. But life... is what you make it, I suppose. I have been given life, a life that I'm not sure how I deserve it. Father has restored the time of hurt, yet many times I continue to try to learn lessons from a lesson or experience that is over and done with. I haven't learned the lesson of 'moving on.' but I feel this past week and this past weekend have been some significant steps forward in the right direction.

There are still hurts in my life, hurts that I'm not who I feel others need or want me to be, and then it hurts because I find that I'm trying to live for men rather than for Father. The lesson of simply living for Christ is one I'll learn constantly, I think... so that means, I must DAILY shed myself of my fears, of my selfsishness, of my desires, and walk through the gates and focus fully on Father. It's hard sometimes.. Life gets busy, I feel tired, sick, stressed and frustrated, effort to read the word or dwell in the things I need to is hard, especially when I feel I should be studying for a class... so how do I make my priorties a priority? How do I learn to live this semi-adult life while keeping Father first?

It's the age-old question, and I definitely don't have the answer... but I know that Father is calling me to him... and I must follow, and be obedient. Here's the thing.. is that in the midst of 'not knowing the answer' I know all the right answers, yet how to step out and act on those answers, that's the hard part.

I long to be humbled, to be broken, to see with Father's eyes, love with his heart, hear with his ears. And I long to not just say that and have it sound ideal, but I want that... in what is reality. How ironic that bible gateway's verse of the day is James 4:10, humble yourselves before the Lord...

__________________

Also, Seth and I were talking yesterday on the way home from church about how it is really somewhat impossible to share the gospel soley through actions.... because the story of Christ requires more than actions, it requires words... Actions can lead to conversation, sure, but it is the conversation.. that leads to the telling of the gospel.

So.. are we sharing the gospel?

-Lara Nichole