My heart is sad and burdened today. I woke up hoping for a happy, fun day. It's our son's "life day" as I so aptly coined with my good friend +Damaris . We found out a year ago that he was alive. We heard his beautiful heartbeat 5-6 weeks later. It's also his four month birthday.

I'm not sure if it was watching our super happy baby melt into sadness and tears and feeling sick after his four month shots, if it was the news of my best friend's disappointment because once again she found it it will take longer for her and her husband to get to the states, or if it's news I'm reading and seeing all over the place about my church - the place where we worship.

Whatever it is, I felt this impending cloud of sadness. Sadness. As I stood in my kitchen, staring at the trees and my finally sleeping baby in his swing, I heard this small voice speak into my thoughts, "Where is the gospel?"

I sit here, in tears, because Where is the gospel? I don't want to sit here and write another blog about what's going on at Mars Hill, because frankly, we don't need another one and I'm trying to process it all myself.  I'm frustrated a lot of times, and sometimes struggle with bitterness, because people in Texas, people in Seattle, people everywhere are deciding what is going on at our church. Everyone has an opinion that stings and hurts me and I've tried to find the words as to why....  and today it all made sense - where is the gospel? WHERE IS THE GOSPEL? Where is the story of Jesus in all of this? I know Jesus is up to something, and he is up to something GOOD because that's what Jesus does.

I've always asked this question, it's always has brought me to tears. I struggled with it in Texas after coming back from working overseas. I've struggled with it as a teacher, a wife, and now mom. All this stuff going on is distracting us from the one thing that we are here for - to share about Jesus.


 July 1, 2007 I wrote a blog... and I remember feeling much like I do now. For those interested, here it is - What is the Cry of Our Hearts?

In the meantime, as I sort out these gospel thoughts and wondering how the story of Jesus fits into this and how my actions display the gospel, rather than being frustrated at other peoples actions (that I apparently feel distract from the gospel), please enjoy the super adorable photos of Watson that are all throughout this post. <3

Love you guys.
Lara