I am not sure what I long for. Currently. I long for peace and lack of confusion. I long for souls to know the captivating and wonderful love of Father... I long for those things. I know that... what I don't know is what I long for. Where is my life going? What are my plans? What will I be when I grow up? I don't know those things. I've been told I never will-- and that is why again, I have to learn to live one day at a time. One moment as it comes.

There are days I feel invincible and others that I feel weak, tired unsure and unstable. I think this may just be a part of the human condition-- the fact that I won't receive perfection until heaven... that my soul is aching to be with Christ and see him. I don't really know, I kind of just said that because it sounded good... but it's a good theory.

I applied for one internship and I'm not really nervous about it-- mainly because I'm pretty for certain I won't get it-- and that's OK with me. As Dr. Boone said, "you'll never know if you don't apply." That is true. What a genius of a guy.

Lately the idea that c-dawg put into my thoughts has been coming up- The idea that we, as christians, are educated beyond our capability of obedience.

I think there has been a ton lost in our ability to know what obedience looks like. We think obedience is defined by if we read our bible daily-- shouldn't reading our bible draw us to active biblical decisions, to prayer, to living out the words of the bible in our lives?
what happened to that.