There are many places where Paul says "I die everyday," and every time I read this, I am reminded that that is our call. Paul says he counts everything as loss compared to knowing Christ. He claims that even though he comes trembling and in weakness and fear that he wants to know Christ and him crucified and that's it. Through reading the word, specifically 1 Corinthians, Father is showing me daily that I have to give up my hopes and my desires, my wants and my needs. That i can't constantly compare myself, because in doing so it's spiritual suicide. That all past trips, past experiences should be placed aside because I want to know nothing but Christ and him crucified. That's what I learned two weeks ago. Today as I sat over 1 Corinthians and discussed it w/ Stephie that again was taught, but I realized that I can't live for my profit, even my own spiritual profit, but for others. That i should show love to others, not so I feel comfortable or good, but for their hearts. If I am doing things for human reasons, what have I gained. Paul even poses the same question... What are my motivations? Christ's call upon my life, or my desires. Am I living in the flesh, am I trying to live in my own strength, or in the strength of Father... am I living in the spirit?