This morning, I went with a few of the women from the church I am attending to go to a conference at the church I attended quite a few times while in Hamburg. As the train rolled into the city, I felt this overwhelming feeling. At first, I wasn't sure what to think, and just brushed it to the side. It was raining, as usual, because Hamburg is definitely known for it's rain, raining more than Hannover (that says a LOT... trust me) and always coming when least expected at any time. I wasn't really enjoying myself, because I was the only one my age, and it was early and I was tired, and just wanted to be back in my bed. I woke up only wanting to talk to select people that I couldn't really speak to, and wishing, once again, that i was back home and not here.

As I walked into the church, I felt I could breathe. The previous day, I had recieved an email from the lady who is an active member of the church and who I did a lot of pr-walking with this summer, and I had yet to respond to it, but i walked through the doors of the room and she looked up and smiled and said "no way." I rushed to her and for the first time, in two months, i received what I had been searching for. A hug from a family member. I have recieved hugs, from those who care for me here in Hannover, but this one was one of I love you, I know what struggles you have been going through, and I have been praying for you. And all that was said in a hug.

Later we began worship and as we sang, "All your promises are true" (lyrics found later in this post ;-)) The overwhelming feeling came back. And I knew, as tears came to my eyes (big surprise) that Christ was telling me, "Lara, see... I'm with you, and I never left you...and look, look at this harvest field." Coming to Hamburg today, was a good decision. As I sang with tears and my eyes and remembering what Father had taught me that summer-- for the first time, I sat and reflected on it, I was reminded of so much. The coolest part of it all was, I didn't think of specific memories or the fun times or who I missed, but I found myself hurting again with compassion for the lost. I found myself longing to pray, and to prayer walk and to dwell and meditate on the word. I was reminded of lessons I learned, that I had not forgotten but had placed to the side as I have lately begun to place myself on top priority rather than God.

Now, to say everything was all magically fixed and I'm all magically well and happy would be such a wonderful thing to say. I still reached the bump of the day later, where i found myself on the verge of tears throughout everything, but I am finding strength in my weakness.... I believe so, anyway. I want to find that and strive to daily place my confidence in Christ, to hold captive my thoughts.

We walked around the city and we went to one of my favorite places, the bombed out church. It's not too exciting after seeing it once or twice, but i always gravitate toward one sculpture built upon bricks from a concentration camp... along with a saying by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Today, as I sat there looking at it, noticing the rain droplets falling down his face like tears, I knew that Christ is ALWAYS with us.