There are days that I feel so alone, and I know most of it is my own doing... I'm secluding myself, I'm focusing on myself and not the place I'm in or the God I claim to trust. Some days I feel as if I'm sitting in a country that is all too familiar yet all too foreign simply waiting on someone to come save me from this mess, from this trap that is in my mind... from the moments that i get stuck in. I find myself dwelling and drawing into myself, getting lost in my thoughts....feeling forgotten and pointless-- but I don't want to get lost in my thoughts anymore, I want to get lost in Christ.

"My heart says of you "Seek His face."
Your face Lord, I will seek." - Psalm 27:8

I've always been emotional... it's part of what makes up me. I have to learn to not always follow my feelings, because feelings change, but to trust and follow Christ. These feelings of being alone... WILL change. As I sit here, I wonder what ever made me think I could do this...but I'm glad I am here, I'm thankful for the lonely moments, the moments of sorrow. I want to come to Father and say "I don't know how this year will work, but I long to be vulnerable to you..."