The LTG I am in (Life Transformation Group) is studying and reading the book of Esther.
It was suggested by one of the girls, and I took her up on it… I haven’t read the book in a while and decided that reading it again definitely sounded like a good idea. We have yet to discuss this book yet, seeing as our LTG is tomorrow morning, but I decided to go ahead and make an entry regarding it.

Now, I don’t know all the background information, I don’t know the history, or even how to begin imagining what this time was like and what Esther looked like… however, I do see her heart, and her love for not only her people but her uncle, who had raised her…

What many do not know is upon deciding whether to go to Japan, my first iW trip, reading Esther was one of my “deciding points.” As a senior in high school, as I read Esther’s words of… “if I perish, I perish…” seemed to take away all earthly fear that was in me… (or close to it)..

Now, when Esther said this, she wasn’t talking about going and sharing Father’s name with others, she was speaking of saving the Jews… she was speaking about stepping out of what was considered right, breaking the law… and going to speak to the king. Today this continues to inspire me…

I want to be like Esther, proclaiming that if I perish, well then.. I perish. But me, stepping out of the norm, breaking the rules, going to church with 6 people in a dorm room or an apartment once a week instead of in a building (talkin’ America here.. not Deutschland) is fine… it doesn’t make me a ‘bad christian.’

This really challenges me while I’m here and for when I go home… I want to live on the edge, I want to go to the deep in, I want to GO to the dark places, the hard to reach places, but friends, read closely.. I can go all I want, but how useful am I, if when I go I cower in a corner and don’t step out of the comfort zone. I need to have the sense of near death… I want to be able to say, If I perish… I perish.

Something that is also cool is Esther means “star,” so my tattoo takes on even more meaning now, so now I am challenging myself to embrace this concept… of perishing. To live through Christ… and reach others. I need to truly GO… I need to speak out, I need to listen, I need.. to OBEY.