What is your legacy?

Holy Fire... Burn away my desire for anything that is not of you and is of me

Empty me.

-- and here I enter into what is known as... America.. to start anew.. to begin something else. Leaveing a life I've been living for 2 mo. and entering a new one that is old yet new...

www.impulseponderingsofagirlnamedlara.blogspot.com

It's the moments like these I will never forget, the moments like these I will miss. Something like going all out and wearing the German colors with pride is really something no one in America can or will understand. Yeah, I know I will miss that. I have loved it here, and I don't want to leave, but God is calling me too. My time here for now... is up, and God may be calling me back, but who knows my friends.. who knows..

Hey guys, it is pretty much my last chance to use the internet while here in Germany, and so it's weird to say this is my last entry before coming home, and my last entry on this blog before returning here-- God has done so much this summer, I don't even know where to begin...

To say I'm not ready to return home would be a lie, but I am also not ready to leave
I'm excited to see where God is takign me and taking my fellow interns in the future.
I simply cannot wait

I love you
Lara

I don't really know the reason of this post other than to simply post pictures of a couple of people who I absolutely love and are close to my heart. :)






So basically, I have no life.
I am really sickly feeling today. I believe I have a sinus infection i.e. Mom can you make me an appointment for when I get back-- I believe I caught the Linley disease.. uhmm basically that is a sinus infection. I don't want to deal with the crazy psycho doctors here, so I will go see Nicole Counselman, because she will give me antibiotics. I obviously am on some type of weird drugs (sinus medicine) because this is a weird post.

I am so TIRED!!! I do NOT know where to begin. This new hair do is nice, but it requires me to take my showers in the morning. Boo!!

This week so far has been quite amazing. I am actually updating at postcardsfromedgeu.blogspot.com - CRAZY! i know!!

The students this week and the interns have been such an amazing encouragement to me this week. It is so cool to see their hearts continually and more so break for this nation as the summer and the week continues. They have such a passion for this country.

Today A. became a family member. I have never met this girl, but I have passionately kept her in my prayers, so it is so exciting that I get to hear about her become a family member!!!

I am also extra excited b/c S and M are here this week!

Alright.. adios ninjas!

this is me definately talking to chelsie while she is taking my picture:
this is me sitting on a chair while damaris whipped out the camera and took my picture. pssh.
this is me ignoring the camera-person



I decided I needed an adventure. And getting a haircut in a foreign land with very little communication with the gay german hair dresser was quite the decision.. but i did it. and these aren't great pictures but whatev.

There’s something about life, something about it that makes it so intriguing, so mysterious. Beneath the surface there is something so poetic about life, that makes us long to hear about struggle and joys of other people. Songs, music, movies, art, coffee shops-- conversation. Life.

What do I want out of life? That’s a tough question. A question, I honestly can’t truly answer. There are many things I long for, that I want. Many things everyone longs for… happiness. I long for happiness. I long for the warmth of joyful tears falling down my face, I long for someone to hug me and for me to relax into their arms. I long for life…

Life. TRUE life. I want it.

I wrote that in January. I felt the obligation to post this. I know when I keep posting and posting, the entries become worthless, and important issues or posts i want read get lost in between the frivolous pointless entries.

Things have been going well. Yesterday was a day full of prayer. Jess, Ez-Cheez and I went through a "tour" book that takes you through a map of the city. As we went and read about the history it was nice to direct our prayers. It was interesting and God truly spoke through the experience.

I've really enjoyed and I still am enjoying this summer. It has been interesting, it has been exciting... it has been a spiritual battle... and still is! I love it! My apartment has been reading Deuteronomy - a book I cannot even spell... but to me it is amazing how Moses writes about God. First of all, it's obvious the reverence Moses has for our God and second I love how God is continually showing the people "hey you've stayed here long enough now go here" and they obey. I love it.

My best friend, Jordie, totally met these super cool cats in Bonn a couple of weeks ago. Last night they invited us to their church (www.jesusfreakskoeln.de) and it was simply amazing. I told my story to the whole church, and we got invited to a wedding... but we will be back in America when they have it. Afterwards we hung out and I want to tell you guys, that my friend Ilka is one of the coolest people i know. I thought I would never see her again, and I randomly saw her at a train stop blowing bubbles. I saw her again last night - she was in town for the gay parade. She told me.. "Jesus loves homos, he just doesn't love homosexuality" and she said she went because that is totally where Jesus would be... and that, I admired.



It makes me sad that I have to leave and maybe never see Ilka and Michael and the crew again, and I am so happy that God allowed me to meet them because of Jordie. I love Ilka's spirit. She reminds me so much of my friend Naomi. I truly believe and think of her as such a good friend. Last night during me sharing my story she kept smiling at me and then winked... she was constantly looking out for me when we were out and at the church... something i totally different expect. She has an amazing spirit, and I admire her heart so much.

This week we have gained two new members to our family. Not that I'm counting or anything, but it truly excites me.

I know my blog entries have not been up to par... i know, i know.


There is so much going on... so much I need prayer for. Discernment, decision making... worries, fears, insecurities... I could go on forever, and I hate being so vauge.

However, the problem with blogging is it is usually so easy to make everything about you.
Me-- I'm doing good, but at the same time confused and worried, sometimes upset.
But what is more important... is Father is doing HUGE things... things that are bigger than me, and my fears and insecurities, and who does and doesn't like me, or what i'm doing next summer or even the next.

I love that we cannot even begin to understand Father's mind. I love it.

The LTG I am in (Life Transformation Group) is studying and reading the book of Esther.
It was suggested by one of the girls, and I took her up on it… I haven’t read the book in a while and decided that reading it again definitely sounded like a good idea. We have yet to discuss this book yet, seeing as our LTG is tomorrow morning, but I decided to go ahead and make an entry regarding it.

Now, I don’t know all the background information, I don’t know the history, or even how to begin imagining what this time was like and what Esther looked like… however, I do see her heart, and her love for not only her people but her uncle, who had raised her…

What many do not know is upon deciding whether to go to Japan, my first iW trip, reading Esther was one of my “deciding points.” As a senior in high school, as I read Esther’s words of… “if I perish, I perish…” seemed to take away all earthly fear that was in me… (or close to it)..

Now, when Esther said this, she wasn’t talking about going and sharing Father’s name with others, she was speaking of saving the Jews… she was speaking about stepping out of what was considered right, breaking the law… and going to speak to the king. Today this continues to inspire me…

I want to be like Esther, proclaiming that if I perish, well then.. I perish. But me, stepping out of the norm, breaking the rules, going to church with 6 people in a dorm room or an apartment once a week instead of in a building (talkin’ America here.. not Deutschland) is fine… it doesn’t make me a ‘bad christian.’

This really challenges me while I’m here and for when I go home… I want to live on the edge, I want to go to the deep in, I want to GO to the dark places, the hard to reach places, but friends, read closely.. I can go all I want, but how useful am I, if when I go I cower in a corner and don’t step out of the comfort zone. I need to have the sense of near death… I want to be able to say, If I perish… I perish.

Something that is also cool is Esther means “star,” so my tattoo takes on even more meaning now, so now I am challenging myself to embrace this concept… of perishing. To live through Christ… and reach others. I need to truly GO… I need to speak out, I need to listen, I need.. to OBEY.

First off, Jordan's Mom and Grandma-- thank you SO much for your encouragement.
I cannot begin to explain how much Jordan means to me and how much she herself encourages me, i love getting on my blog and reading your encouraging notes. You guys are an amazing family, and I see where Jordan finds her passions and joys. She is an amazing girl, and lucky to have an awesome family. I know she has motivated me and been there for me. She's an authentic girl in love with Christ!

~~~

I am in love with Hamburg, Dad.

and yes, everyone this entry is for my dad, because he requested it.



Upon arriving in Hamburg, i was excited, confused, and curious to experience a new German city I had not been to yet. It was nice. Hamburg is a city, yet it has a home feeling. Not that Koeln doesn't, but Koeln is more like living in New York where as Hamburg would be more like.. living in Dallas. I dunno if that is a good example.

We spent most of our time relaxing, riding the ferry, watching a light show/fireworks one night, celebrating 4th of July/the Germany game, spending time at the beach... it was wonderful

The people we stayed with in Hamburg are amazing, and I cannot wait to work with them and get to know them better!!

For 4th of July we dressed up in our Germany Gear to watch them play Italy. sadly they lost, but it was a good time had...

and then we went to Hannover and it was great, and I am excited about going to school there...

that is all for now :)

This is a pointless, boring entry.
i hate those

Lara

for your enjoyment, or more so mine

my husband, (cari approved)



okay i am a liar i admit it!

I have always been into journaling, but for some reason this summer my journaling efforts have been below par. Part of it is simply my being lazy. I decide "meh, I'll just think it, i don't feel like writing it all out..." However, this summer hasn't been like any of the other summers... I am confused. Confused about so many things. A week ago I, along with 4 other girls got on a train to Hamburg. It was an amazing time. We traveled in our own room on the train-- much like a scene from Harry Potter, and we were filled with excitement at the traveling country side of Germany, the different sites, the different sounds-- ones that are so foreign to our eyes and ears.. we left our train window wide open, so it definately wasn't a quiet journey...But somehow, between the sound of the wind, the train on the tracks, and other trains rushing by, I was able to find silence... silence to sit and reflect, silence to journal and contemplate... Maybe there is something about sitting on a train that causes me to think about past, present and future-- something that truly allows me to evaluate my heart and allow God to search me.

This is the first summer I have felt far from God-- not that I only feel near to God in the summer... but this summer I find myself not only doubting myself, but doubting God.. and not just doubting God, but also doubting his existance... and then I just get frustrated, frustrated with myself.. and frustrated with him.

My prayer for myself and my team is simply that Father would be near, and I no longer would stay in the contemplateive, complacent mood, but would NOT be able to stay silent any more... I would have the passion to speak Christ's name , that I would find the passion to WANT and to LONG to spend time with him...

I am tired of doubting a God who is so REAL.

°°°°°

That was written this morning, during my quiet time. I wasn't going to share it but I felt the need to as I looked at the happenings of my day.. (oh and i have this kinda cool picture Chels took, that I will def add to this post when I am on my own computer...)

Today I did a lot of traveling, I went to Dusseldorf and also to Essen. In that time I was able to talk with friends, and get to know people more, but also Lin and I began a conversation (by the way, Colby.. if you read this..Lin cannot figure out how she has NOT met you yet.. and how she doesn´t know you, because pretty sure she is good friends with like all of your team from last year, she is quite hilarious) anyway, lets get past my a.d.d... lin and I talked with a girl and we came so close to sharing our story so many times....and we didn't, but you know... it was a step forward, and we were obedient... we talked with her pretty much the whole hour train ride.. and it was an excellent conversation about life! And she was very encouraging about my deutsch skills...

And then we arrived at Pizza night and found out some excellent news about a new member of the fam!! So exciting!!

Continue to pr for us and the team and for this area...

Father is showing me so much about my heart and my present and future, it is so exciting!!

Love ya all

ljo

i am in hamburg staying with some friends i will be working w/ in a year. I love it here, and i love the people I traveled with. They make my teeth sweat and they make me smile. hamburg is a lot different than koeln, and i love when people say they are hamburgers.

random fact: hamburgers are "citizens" of hamburg... they are also a meal... and are def raw meet on bread.
and yes they eat it like that.
i prefer american hamburgers... which was invented by a sailor who was all gross?!! raw meat? and so he grilled it.

okay bye.

more thought provoking blog entries later

Ljo

**warning i was def in a weird mood when i wrote this and side note to all of you.. i definately DID start falling asleep again at the fachhochschule while writing this and i decided not to repeat what I had done a couple of days before and I came back to the hostel and slept for 2 hours in the staff room... it was much needed sleep, but it's so hard to even WANT to sleep when you want to be on the field...



I am sitting in the Fachhochschule (school of applied sciences) in the library, watching people study. Okay…. No, watching GUYS study. Because you see, just like in America VERY FEW girls are interested in subjects such as engineering, and cars and polymer junk. I promise… the fact that there are MANY boys here, is definitely not the reason I feel inclined to spend so much time here. I just sat here asking a guy who speaks very little English what he is studying and he had to tell me like 3 times and it wasn’t that I didn’t understand what he was saying in Deutsch, nor did I understand the subject he was telling me in English, I just didn’t know what he was saying… because the topic is so over my head. He finally said, “cars, I study cars.” Ooooh Alright. Way to go me, not only am I a ‘dumb American’ I look like the token dumb American girl. So, why exactly do I feel called to this area? I have had a special place in my heart for this school since we had visited it last year, and this year, I have continually wanted to come to the school. And to make matters worse it seems J thinks this is where I need to be also. First of all, it’s confusing, because there are so few girls, second of all, I don’t understand anything about science… I would rather be at the university speaking with philosophy or journalism students. However, here I sit in the library watching people argue over what they are studying, watching people laugh and sip their coffee, watching people hold their head in their hands because they are so tired of studying. Sounds typical of a college library, ja?

However, as I sit here I notice that it is in the strangest places here that God stirs my heart… For example, the obvious is here, but I LOVE going to do my laundry. Not because the crazy cool machine that pours soap or being able to sit on a washing machine and listen to my ipod, but because people just sit there waiting on laundry and strike up conversations. People that I know I would see on the street and think “ooh scary, but what a cute dog” or someone I would see and think “man, I wish I had the drive to just say HI to this lady” are not so intimidating anymore. I think it has something to do with seeing someone's underwear as the put them in the washing machine that makes it easier to talk to them. Ah haha... psyche.

I made the mistake of telling M (a professor here at the school and a good friend of J’s) that I need to practice my German, because I’m going to school here in a year. Now he only speaks to me auf Deutsch!! I respond and he laughs, and probably thinks “there is no hope.” He did tell me not to listen to my favorite Soccer player’s German because it is horrible (he’s from Poland, and the poor guy… everyone gives him such a hard time about his accent…) I am very sad too though. Podolski is going to play for Bayern Munich. I don’t like Bayern because they buy all the good players and most of their fans are only fans so they can always be on the winning side. Whatev. AND Ballack is leaving Deutschland to play for Great Britain. My world is ruined. (actually the only reason I know all this junk is that the people who really do know it tell me so I act like I know it)

I got into a good conversation with my Turkish friend about Dirk Nowitzki… but Dirk hurt my feelings so we’re not talking about him right now.

Okay Awkward… I was sitting at an empty table and 4 german boys came to study. My heart is saying “okay please don’t talk to me… VERY awkward.” And then my heart asks, “God!! Why can’t you send a German GIRL to sit at my table, so that it doesn’t seem like I am ‘flirty fishing’ as I get into a conversation with them…” Agh. I just won’t talk to them OR make eye contact. They are studying physics looking junk anyway, so I definitely won’t get into a conversation because all I know about physics is that.. if I jump from a building I will hurt myself. That is basically it.

Seriously… what am I doing with my day? Am I just wasting it away? Or am I learning, am I thriving, am I finding God in the present moments? (Random thought: Germans have the coolest clothes ever) I get distracted by noise… not physical noise… noise such as: man, I am thirsty, or I don’t feel like doing such and such, or hmm I wonder what school is going to be like. (Another Random Thought: I am going to admit it, the boy sitting next to me is REALLY cute…*sigh*) And again, note the random thoughts.. what is that? NOISE.

So last night I was pondering… why does it always take me a while before I share my story. So much of me wishes I was like the apostles in Acts that could not stop speaking about what they had seen and heard… however, I don’t do that. I tend to wait until I get to know the person so well. A lot of me is like “well this story means so much to me, I can’t tell just anyone..” but then that upsets me because I TRULY do want EVERYONE to know. I mean, if I had just met you today I wouldn’t tell you my deepest longings and my deepest fears… I would wait until we knew each other like family, brother and sister, I would wait until I could trust you… I think that is how I am with my faith. I’m not giving myself an excuse as to why I don’t share as often as I should or could…as I sit here and evaluate, I come to believe it’s truly just how my personality is…

This week has been busy! Our first team arrived on Saturday, and it has been so wonderful watching them unleash on what is Germany. We also have an intern team in Duisburg.

I, myself, have been spending time at the Fachhochschule - which is the School of Applied Sciences. Yesterday, I decided to study some German in the library, which honestly was NOT too successful b/c i ended up falling asleep on a desk and woke up to the stares of many Germans... embarassing.

The ground is fertile.. and the seeds are being planted. I'm not sure what image that gives you, but I do know that the soil in Germany is constantly being poured over in prayer.. and I believe it is evident. The past few days it has been so clear that Father has been directly answering the small and also the BIG prayers that we have been praying.

God has been teaching us all so much... revealing how this summer is about HIM and making HIS name famous. I tend to fall into an emotional mind trap and I make myself my top priority. I think this is natural, as yes, we are human-- but i think there also truly becomes a point where I must claim and truly believe that He must become greater and I must become less...

Our prayer for our team and those coming through is focused around DESPERATION. Those on a rescue mission have such a desperation and drive to save the rescuee... We also being on a mission need and long for that desperate heart.

Pray for us and that we are desperate.

We must also remember that if we are truly immersing ourself in God's word and with him, we have no chance of failure...

I will be truthful. There are days that I absolutely hate it here. I am recording this not for only you to know, but also so that I may remember... I dont know how to explain it. There is a grey here. I hate it. I hate not seeing the hankerchief miracles and I know it is because I dont have the faith to see them. I am tired of only hearing about great things happening elsewhere-- although each time I do it gets me excited beyond expression. Tonight, a depression hit me. Maybe I shouldnt use the word depression. I find myself missing what once was, and wishing for what could be, all the while being more satisfied with what I have. If you have never felt that way, it is quite a weird feeling to have.

Sometimes being a leader is hard. I want to be a part of the team... and I think I am but it is hard to tell sometimes who truly is a friend, and who is simply playing the part because you are the "leader." There are days I dont feel I belong in this position, because I am unworthy, and incapable. Then there are days when I know this is where I belong. There are days I feel evaluated, and torn apart, and there are days I feel comforted and excited.

Why does this suprise me? Because life is always and will always be this way. You have your ups and downs, you have your highs and lows, and the days of complacency. But I seek to be desperate, so desperate, my throat becomes dry from screaming His name.. that only his living water can quench and heal... I want to be so desperate that I LITERALLY cannot breathe without Him. Father treats us all equally and that is what is so great about Him. He has no favorites. I count down the days until I see Father face to face.. I truly do. No, I am not saying I dont wish to live anymore, what I am saying is true LIFE is what I long for...

I find true life, some days. The days when Christ just grips me and pulls me in. The days when I see the ancient work and the strong need for him.

Its hard to see the need here. Here I see life. I see happiness. I see a joy that I cannot explain. They have something I dont have... and I am trying to offer something they dont seem to need. Why is this something I so desperately need? I know I do need it, and I know they do too. But i dont see desperation in their eyes. I dont see the LONGING and Hurt and desperation that I saw in Japan... and i hate comparing the countries, as they are two different cultures.


Its hard here. I hate it not being black and white. I hate that I know the language sometimes.. when really i dont know it at all. I hate the grey. I hate the fog. I want to see TRUTH. I dont care how dirty the truth is. I want to see this place STRIPPED.


and I dont care what is in paris or rome..
i want to come home.

(thats a song lyric.. heh. i am clever)

I am sitting at the internet cafe, after a day of truly living life.


Today I had a staff meeting and then went to media markt to buy alarm clocks, to the grocery store to buy supplies for a base camp, and then to mueller for office supplies for the hostel and then I stopped to get some eis and continued to run errands. I just finished meeting tara and some of the gals for dinner and thought id stop by the internet cafe to email C about mid term break and get a few things done... today i truly lived life... and where was Christ in the midst of it all?

How can I find God in the business of life, even while overseas?! Today was good. I was obedient. As I was switching trains and listening to my ipod I just got this overwhelming feeling of "i am home." It was a good feeling..


When I went by the internet cafe walking to dinner the guy waved at me... when I walked in to the pizza place for dinner the first thing the guy said was "i remember you from last year!" Community.

True. Community.

(you know what is coming...)




How beautiful...


are the feet...


of those...




who bring good news.

“…from one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places they would live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being’…” – Acts 17:26-28




The other day, as a team we traveled to a small village to a vineyard where the best red wine in Germany is made. No, we did not try any. You kidding? That would definitely be a crash landing. Pssh…rebels? That we are not…in that sense of the world. Turkish Cola is enough for me. (sooooo much caffeine!! Yum!!)Anyway--we went there to simply have a visual of all the work that does go into the making of wine… vintageing if you will. It was a good time, and I definitely learned a lot, but it was the random moments traveling to and from the city that was about an hour away by train that I think God taught me the most.

I don’t think many people realize just how many nations are represented in Germany. With different cultures there are different religions, different traditions, and when combined with so many other cultures and present religions it sometimes can produce this socio-economic chaos, and also in my opinion has helped aid to the post-modernization of Europe (specifically Germany). Not only in it’s culture and politics and society but mostly in religion. We commonly hear, “there is truth in everything,” and “well… if you find satisfaction in that religion and you feel that is true, then that is good for you and I’m happy you found that—but it’s not for me.”

Not only are many nations commonly represented in Germany- even more so in Koeln, but there are even more countries represented here due to the World Cup games. It has been a constant realization of the nations. We, as a team, have spent extensive time begging for the nations, begging for their souls… and I cannot wait for the day when every knee is bowed in worship to the one true God and every tongue is singing praise to our Father in their language.

While on the train we were sitting amongst so many nations, and I just seemed to breath it in. Caleb, a team mate had prayed earlier that morning, “Father, we come to you asking for the nations…” and his prayer and just the passion in his voice was one of truth, one I haven’t heard in such a long time from anyone, and that moment was when I really began to beg Father for the nations, and all people. – On the train, we were surrounded by English, Arabs, Turks, Iranians, Americans, Germans… everyone…

One thing that made me smile and laugh and yes even get more excited about the day when all the people will praise God… were a group of young, German guys who were laughing, singing, and drinking and shouting for their country, their nation, their soccer team, and most people in the train would secretly laugh at how ridiculous they were being… and shake their head and just smile. However, these kids had something. Regardless of being drunk, they had a passion… a worldly passion, but a passion none-the-less. I would go as far as to say, the German national Fussball team was stealing worship from God… and I know that sounds dramatic, because, well… really, it is. However, just think about how these guys could impact their country if they had a heart of passion for God… it begins with them. Truly… I believe it does. They are seeking, they are reaching…My prayer is that God would give them eyes to see and ears to hear, that God would allow them to pull their generation out of the post-modernization of their culture into the post-post modernization. I pray that they would see and meet Jesus for who he is, that when they reach their hand out for truth… they would find it.

A couple of days ago, a few of us climbed to the top of the Dom. I took a picture of J praying simply because well uhm I felt like it. "Missions" is not about making a scrap book, this I understand but I cannot explain to you what was going through our minds, and maybe I can justify this picture through this post.. or maybe not at all...

People have jumped off the top of the dom... to kill themselves.
It's funny.. people who are seeking and searching and come to the desparity of feeling the need to live no longer, go to the place where they should find the answer.. where they should find comfort.. and they DO find comfort.. what they think is comfort.. death.

Since those suicides gates and railings have been put more so at the top of the dom to prevent these tragic occurances, but it somewhat explains the eerie feeling one gets while standing at the top of the dom and looking down.

I'm still seeking and searching to find my purpose here. Each day God tends to reveal a little more of my heart. It's hard not being able to go out with the team as much as I'd like. It's hard not being able to spend time with them during all the down time we have. It's hard having an entirely different schedule as them, but at the same time it's rewarding and I know God is teaching me so much.

I simply challenge you to fill your hearts with prayer. To gaze into people's eyes and to really see them and their hearts the way Christ does.

Things can get confusing on the field. I guess... things can get confusing wherever you are. (you will have to excuse my many typos.. german keyboards are crazy). It is hard really knowing what my place is. I am told I am here to encourage the interns, which is good, but I also feel much of my time if filled with logistical things. Now, I, out of the 'staff' should not be complaining, because I probably do the fewest logistical things out of all of them... it is just super hard. I dont truly know my place, nor do i know my true purpose. I want to reach the people here. I want to speak to them. I want to build relationships. I am ready for this summer to begin.. and while, yes, I am here in Germany, it simply feels as if we are still in the calm before the storm. Over the past couple of days i have cried a lot, and i honestly dont think those tears are related to jet lag in any way. I need encouragement from mentors, from friends. The interns have been wonderful. I love my apartment girls... and well, all of them really. We can share anything with each other, and i am so happy i am not only their "leader" but their friend as well. (That was one of my hugest fears). (and what can I say I have had good leaders in my past to base my leading style on-- colby and leslie, marcus, kat). Team unity is great... better than could be imagined. I am struggling a lot. I am confused, but i am learning.. and sometimes the tears are a part of that.

I’m traveling right now, I’m in between time and space, and getting to know my team mates really well, in between the movies and the random, non-making sense conversations, oh.. and we can’t forget when B. Juergins comes by to flirt.. shouldn’t it be a rule that 18 year old German boys are NOT allowed to be flight attendants on airplanes? I think I’m going to take that matter up with God. Srsly! Doesn’t B. Juergins KNOW me and my girls are NOT here with M-Harmony.com?

Sir Guinaviere is doing well. (He’s our penguin). He’s had many adventures, and the pictures obviously display. He’s a character… what can I say?! Also, Jew (my bear) seems to have made a new best friend. He and Caleb are inseparable. It’s kinda cute.

However, As I said, yes I’m traveling. I’m on a computer, and yes.. technology is amazing, I’m on the internet as well. Dad. Don’t worry, Jordan paid for it and is letting me use a few minutes to post this.

On a more serious note… Team Unity is quite amazing. I’m with a group of awesome, intelligent, mature students, who understand how needy the country of G is. Already we have made 2 or more "contacts" One who has adopted Jenn, Jerred, and I as grandchildren. She went to lunch with us at the airport and comes to check up on us on the plane. She is going back to Germany for the first time in 52 years… We love our Grandmother. :-D Pray for us, for our unity as you know it's the first place the enemy will try to attack!

We cannot WAIT to actually arrive in Germany, and even now I can tell God is doing something freakishly HUGE in the hearts of our team, and every single person who talks to the students. There is something different about them, and it’s so neat for me to sit back and watch God work through their hearts.

It’s 5:00 am in Germany, and 10:00 p.m. at home. I know I need to rest, I need to get sleep for the long day ahead, but it’s hard. I’m not tired. I slept for 40 minutes… and I can’t seem to find the tiredness to sleep anymore. I know I’m going to regret this as soon as I step foot into Koeln and step into all the many activities J has planned. -- *sigh.

Good News! Our luggage is being checked all the way to Koeln, so we will NOT have to go through customs, etc. when we arrive at our first layover in Germany… that means, we will NOT miss our next flight as we had anticipated doing.


That is it for now!
Bye from Lara and the team.. and Sir Guinaviere as well.

Do you find the pattern the same... everytime you switch shampoos? It's as if the beginning of a new bottle/new brand of shampoo is symbolic of a brand new chapter in life... or maybe that's just me thinking too hard about things.. the "english teacher" side coming out, right?

No. I'm not making this up. It's true. It's how God intended things. So what i'm saying is, if you need a little spice in yo' life- change shampoos.

No really though, I switched Shampoos at the end of my senior year of highschool going into Japan, (uhmm hello!?! New chapter of life) and I fell in love with what is Pantene Pro-V. I've been using that alternating with head and shoulders and a mixture of Garnier Fructese (I create my own shampoo mixtures, because yes.. I'm just that cool and if you don't know if you continue to use the same shampoo it eventually builds up and becomes useless to your hair...)

I've just switched Shampoos. Laura R. my friend has the same kind, and it looks cool, which were my initial reasons for wanting this shampoo. But as i looked into to the others, I decided to go with the Catwalk- oatmeal & honey shampoo.

As I initially lathered the shampoo into my hair, I realized "hey, this does not smell like oatmeal and honey-- it smells like cake" it reminded me of the craft fair i used to help out at my old church.

So now, as I realize this two days before leaving to go to Germany (well base camp), I realize my life is changing forever. I come home from Germany only to leave to Angelo.. which i will be there till May, and if things go as planned I'll be back on an airplane in June and won't return till August of 2008 (not August of 2007).. that's a lot of changes, and a lot of new "chapters" in the book of my life.

It's kinda strange, I was talking to Krystle yesterday, and mentioned "i'm not really scared-- because i don't really think about it." I'm not scared, I'm excited, but not even really that. It's an odd feeling, and I feel I should be anxious or finding something to worry about (which i'm sure i will sooner or later). However, I'm content right now, content about beginning anew.. building new friendships, while keeping up with current and old friendships.. i think it's the next step.. i know it's the next step.

So, now, I will take me and my cake smelling hair to go do something else then ponder the shampoo-ness of life. Perhaps I'll clean my room, or maybe even start packing (heeey there's an idea) or maybe, I'll choose to sit in front of the tv drowning my thoughts in a good movie such as Hook... (because yes, I do want to be like my white friend, Regina).

Out like oats and honey-
Lara

So, as today is memorial day, I spent time with family, and also realized how soon it is that I am leaving for the summer-- as it was the last time i'd see many of those i spent time with. It was a good time with family, a good time talking, a good time laughing, a good time eating.

So, do you realize I leave for Germany in less than a week. Only a few days really.. even I haven't much realized it yet.

Many think it strange i'd be going overseas a third year in a row, many think I go just for the experience. Oh how i loath the word "experience." However, I am going this summer, and I know it's where I'm supposed to be. I know without a doubt, God wants me in Germany. Not simply because I have a love for the language and the culture, not simply because God provided all the money i needed to go... but because God has changed my heart to match his.

I have a confession. Upon arriving home last summer. I told myself "i'm not going anywhere next summer." Well my heart started changing, and i KNEW I belonged in Japan. I was standing in a worship service singing "did you feel the mountains tremble" and it came to the part of the song which says "did you feel the darkness tremble, when all the saints join in one song?" and the image of me and a few of those on my japan team singing at the "alter" at the shinto shrine, and the darkness seeming to fade away came to mind and i just KNEW God wanted me in Japan. Well, God slowly began to show me he wanted me back in Germany. It wasn't until a couple of months ago, that God has changed my heart to match His. I know without a doubt he wants me in Germany, even though i didn't want to go back there. I do now, i know it's where I belong...

Already, I am so excited to see what God is going to do.
However, I have something huge on my heart-- a decision I need to make. I first want to pray over it and discuss it with some people, but I want your prayer.

Love,
Lara

There is something about looking at something from a different perspective that makes it intriguing. Why exactly things like this intrigue us really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. So many times I'm in my backyard and I just see these potted plants as what they are.. potted plants. I fail to see the beauty of the flower, or plant, much less the beauty in which it is planted... that's much like life overseas... so many things are the same but because you have, what I like to call "foreign eyes" you see things much differently. Lately, it's been interesting to look at Dallas (my home town) with these same foreign eyes. To see the quirks the town has, to see the hurts the town has, to even see the pain present in peoples eyes, yet joy in others. I pray that I keep my perspective in Germany this summer, and I ask that you pray that prayer for me and for my team. That our prespective is one that is God driven, one that allows us to let Christ work with us and through us.


To date, it looks like I will have recieved/earned enough money for this summer. This is my third time to make efforts in a fundraising "project" such as this, and this year has been quite the easiest round. I had my hesitations, thinking it would be more difficult because I was going to a new church where I knew no one at all, I didn't have a job, etc. Well, God was faithful to provide generous givers, faithful givers, supporters, prayer warriors, and he also provided me with a wonderful job. I know it is divine that I go this summer, and honestly I'm stinkin pumped about it. This summer is going to be extremely different than the past two, and I know God is already doing something huge in the hearts of those in Cologne, but also in the hearts of my team members and the hearts of you guys who are pr-ing for us state wide.

I thank you so much for everything.
-Lara Jo

Hey Friends-

I know I know, why does she need another blog right?

Well, many of you do check www.postcardsfromedgeu.blogspot during the summer while I'm in Germany working with the M's and students that travel through, however.. as I am a journalism major (meh.. i'm an ameteur really) I decided I would like to have my own blog to tell of my adventures, my joys, my prayer requests for the summer. I will stillb e updating post cards and you may see a few repeats, but this blog will be a little more personal... :)

I'll also be using this blog for when I'm studying and working in Hannover Germany, August 2007 to August 2008 for my practicum and idependent study.

Can't wait to hear your comments and encouragement during this summer
and next!

Lara