What is your legacy?

three years ago, every single day I was having conversations with girls who I had never met. Conversations on the phone about Father, about the upcoming summer, about what was to take place, about those who were seeking and longing to know more, but didn't know how or where to begin... about Germany.. and about praying to see FATHER in the "fatherland." I will never forget sitting outside on the grass, up against the brick of the house talking to Jenn. Talking about life, about pains, about joys. Laughing with a beautiful Gina on the phone... I knew Jesus was in their lives fervently, planting his heart into theirs... replacing our hearts, with his...so where does this lead, how does this play into today? I heard and felt and saw the heart of Father in them... my prayer that year was that my longing for Japan, my wants which were not bad, and biblical based, would be replaced with the longing and the heart of Father.

So tonight, I have felt a tug at my heart. My prayer that my heart would continue to match up with Father's. I have many passions... cut up my heart into sections, each section defining a passion, you'd have a million pieces... so imagine how i feel as I feel those millions and millions of longings pulling at me, tugging at me. "Where do I go, father? You are my home, you are my deepest longing... where you lead, THERE I will follow." So as I am being called, I pray that all those passions become intertwined into the one heart they belong to.. that my heart is no longer the heart of Lara Johnson, but Father's heart.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. - psalm 62:8



So, I want to learn to love.
I want to learn to love with the love of a savior.
I want to learn to love with HIS heart.
I want to decrease, so he may increase.
Less of me.



<3

Seen glory results in faith.

It's a thought I've been mulling over, the past few hours. See, the thing is this: I have never seen Jesus. Literally, I suppose not. But I've seen him, I've seen Christ, I've seen his glory, and constantly Father reveals himself, his son, which once seen and felt and heard with my self, with my senses, I draw near to him, this produces faith. As more of Christ is revealed to me, whether through reading the word, through the experiences he places me in. Father gives eyes to see, ears to hear. To see who? to hear who? Him. His glory, brings us to faith.

I like the thought.

Also, I felt like quite the idiot, but yesterday for the first time i caught the symbolism of Christ dying on a tree. Sin was brought into the world through a tree (Adam and Eve ate fruit from tree of life) and sin was paid for when Christ died on the 'tree.'

Now for Photos I have found on my parents' computer











a photo from meg's wedding and i look hilarious in the background and a photo o fme and daddy from Hamburg...

after looking at photos, i just want to go. Not to germany, not to a certain place, just go. To cherish and treasure every relationship that I have been strategically placed in. To pour out in pr, to be intentional, to know what Father is calling me to, to have Father be my focus and to be all things to all people.

xx

for your viewing entertainment:


Er kommt aus Hannover, und er ist ganz wunderbar. :) Ich liebe Olli Pocher and watch this even if you don't know german, because the language is SO GORGEOUS... give it a chance! Oliver pocher is in one of my favorite German movies, and I own it, so if you learn the language, your reward is watching it with me.... :) That's to all my readers. Olli is a comedian, and he is teaching kindergarten in this episode. My favorite part is at the end when the kid is sad and he's trying to figure out what's wrong. Dang, i love German, it's beautiful. also i'm obviously tired and need to go to sleep b/c i'm rambling

I don't know how to drive. I am 22 years old and I don't know how to drive, and I need to learn, but there is something in me that doesn't want to, but something in me that becomes so angry when I realise how much of a fool I feel when I can't do things on my own, when other people my age have children and families and a life. I have a life, and life is much different when I am living in other places... and simply put: i need to get over whatever it is and I need to learn to drive.

Father is hitting me hard tonight and it hurts, a lot. I find in myself a want for more and a cluelessness in how to fulfill that. I want more.

I don't know where to start all the time. I don't know how to express myself, and I just want... peace. I want comfort.

Bethany Dillon's words for some reason are ringing in my ears...

I've been him, and I've been her
Covered up under the dirt
I want to get out
I want to be free
And know where I'm going

Thought I belonged
But I know I don't
Thought I had love
But it is not enough
An aching inside speaking to me
How could I feel like this
So aimless


----


so parts of me feels a bit irrational... but Christ is my aim, and I want to draw toward and seek him.


also i took this from billy v's blog, but i love Celebration of Discipline and it reminded me of things

Hsu closes this chapter by referencing 10 guidelines for practicing simplicity from Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. Here are a few:
1. Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.
2. Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.
3. Develop a habit of giving things away.
4. Learn to enjoy things without owning them. (library books, as i believe bill v suggested)
5. Develop a deeper appreciation for God’s creation.
6. Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.
7. Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God.

I hung out with the Moores at the nursing home last night. As every time, Father taught me in ways i never even expected.

So much of me wants to go into detail, but I feel the beauty isn't in the description of the place, or the events, yet the simplicity of it all, exclaims the greatness and the beauty of our God.

Lately, I have been infatuated with histories of carols, due to a book I got from Sams Club (Then Sings my Soul)

One in particular is I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day...
read this history:

The ravages of the war directly inspired another carol, "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," which was penned by Maine native Henry Wadsworth Longfellow around 1862. The sadness of this song reflects Longfellow's grief over the 1861 death of his second wife (burned to death at home when candles ignited her clothing), his bitter opposition to the war, and the sorrow of his son Charles having been gravely injured in battle. The poet's staunch Yankee views also show through in the original version of the text, from which three particularly partisan stanzas were dropped when the poem was set to music in 1872.

The excised stanzas include such lines as "Then from each black, accursed mouth / The cannon thundered in the South" and "It was as if an earthquake rent / The hearth-stones of a continent." Retained, however, were the following two poignant passages:

"'There is not peace on earth,' I said
'For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men"

and

"Then pealed the bells more loud and deep
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep,
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.'"

This morning has been full of Germany memories. And i kind of miss it. (of course)

I had just finished crying, and sara took my photo at Balzac. But even though I had just cried, this is one of my favorite memories, because sara was there for me and made me laugh so hard, while crying so hard... and for some reason i love that..


My first time to make sushi in Hamburg, Germany:



Our 50millionth visit to the landesmuseum :-) I absolutely love this photo

I want to know Christ more. I want to experience him more. In the past weeks my life has been turned upside down in many good ways. I find myself... as who I used to be: excited. Excited about the unexpected-ness of Father... about now, about the future. About HIM. I'm excited about Christ, and as Colby Ivey always would say while in Japan, "I'm so excited." ... So i suppose excitement is the theme of this post.

That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are at Rome.- Paul, Romans 1

Father has been using this song in my life lately:


Falling down upon our knees
Sharing now in common shame
We have sought security
Not the cross that bears Your name
Fences guard our hearts and homes
Comfort sings a siren tune
We’re a valley of dry bones
Lead us back to life in You

Lord we fall upon our knees
We have shunned the weak and poor
Worshipped beauty, courted kings
And the things their gold affords
Prayed for those we’d like to know
Favor sings a siren tune
We’ve become a talent show
Lead us back to life in You

You have caused the blind to see
We have blinded him again
With our man-made laws and creeds
Eager, ready to condemn
Now we plead before Your throne
Power sings a siren tune
We’ve been throwing heavy stones
Lead us back to life in You

We’re a valley of dry bones
Lead us back to life in You
We’ve become a talent show
Lead us back to life in You
We’ve been throwing heavy stones
Lead us back to life in You

please visit my new favorite worship band's virb and listen to them:
http://www.virb.com/sojournmusic

also i love this movie:

I feel horribly sick. I'm not exactly sure why, although I think it has to do with a lack of rest, not eating well, and stress from exams and my thoughts/worries.

My mind keeps tracing back to a year ago, and how I spent the holidays. The year in Germany feels like a dream. I don't talk about it much, and when I do it's a small memory here and there, but to be honest, that year is the one year my life was shaped, formed and molded. My heart grew to love, it grew to hate. I fell and I stood back up, and I grew up in Germany. Don't get me wrong... I still have a lot of growing up to do.

I was once told by Brandon Mclean that I was too mature for my age. Too mature in my thoughts, and my understanding and passion for Father... He told me it was a good thing, but probably why I hurt when others didn't understand, or care to understand. I'm not sure why I think the way I do, why I went home crying on Sundays during high school because no one cared or understood the words that were read from the Bible or the true love and faith of Father. At the beginning of the semester I recieved a phone call from (one of)my favorite couple(s), Krystle and Brent.. and Krystle pointed out that she was recently wondering why she didn't understand the things I would talk about in Sunday School during High School and why she was just now beginnign to understand those things. She said she admired me. I mention this because I don't understand... I say all this because I'm trying to work it out. What makes me so different? and am I really different? I honestly 100 percent believe that I have a capability of understanding things with my mind and with my head but it is harder for me to act out, to understand things with my heart and simply GO.

When I was overseas it was incredibly hard for me to share my life with others. With believers, sure... sharing life was easy. People constantly noticed my heart for discipleship, for helping others understand what Father is calling us to do, and people immediately noticed my heart for worship... but there were weeks when I would never see the chance, or take the chance, to share my story or my faith. I was damaged. My heart was confused. How could I say that this is what we're supposed to do, while at the same time I can't share Christ the way I would like to. I was challenged to learn to live life with nonbelievers once I got home. I was instructed to find a church home, but to stay away from Christian clubs on campus, mainly because i would quickly find myself in a Christian bubble... unable to learn life with nonbelievers. Living overseas doesn't really equal having constant believers around. On the way to San Angelo in August of 2006, this was reinfored, as I listened to Afshin say "If our prime directive was to become saved, wouldn't we simply go to heaven after we accepted Christ... we obviously are here for something else." I wanted to learn life. And San Angelo brought that to me.... and really prepared me for a year abroad.

I've been given friendships overseas, Betti, Lena, Jana, Jessica, The S family, Park, Bogdan, and more. He has set a passion in my heart for them, for their life and their culture, and the year overseas put me in situations that were relationship built and it was life. We sat over coffee/dinner discussing philosophy and faith. We laughed, we shopped, we got to know each other.... and I shared my life, and my story. Last Christmas, we sat in the warmth of a german house, with no germans around, but we read Luke. I somehow became fluent in German, was able to read the story and talk about my faith. We played music, we laughed, we drank wassel :-) <3 It was glorious.

So this Christmas, I remember that. And my prayer is that the family remembers the story of Christ during this season, remembers the festivities, and yearns and longs to seek out Christ.

That's my heart's cry. I want them to know, and I love them, and I really want to sit with them and drink tea and speak our foreigner's german. right now, please.

Alison brought up a good point the other day.

A football player jumps at any chance to play football. He may play for a certain team, but if someone says hey let's go play out in the yard, he is not going to say, no way man i can only play with my team. To some extent the same is of our faith... and where we are called to go. We are called no matter where we are to tell, to go. To "play" in the arena God has called us to, but if he calls us to go to Japan/Germany for a few weeks, we should go... God may call us to represent him there a bit longer than a few weeks... maybe a few years, maybe our lives, but where we are... that's where we're to play. We may be called to a certain place, but if we are given the opportunity to go overseas or share our faith where we are... Why wait? We're not called to a certain place. We're called to share our faith..... The harvest is here. Play ball. (heh)


---- she says it a lot better, they were her original thoughts.

I used to think the idea of sitting in the lap of Christ was the corniest idea ever, because God is so much more than that. But today, we were singing 'come ye sinner, weak and weary, come ye wounded, sick and sore.... i will arise and go to Jesus...he will embrace me in his arms" and I realised how uncorny that thought can be. And I realised that Father has been teaching me that over the past 17 months.

There's a lot more learning and a lot more knowledge with my heart that I now understand, and it is very hard to portray through this certain blog post.



---------

let's just say
that there is no one like our God and i'm infatuated and in love with him.

thoughts lara thinks while sitting in class


thought number one:

I love to pray. I don't do it often enough, but I love to pray. I have seen and felt and been a witness to the power of prayer, and I love being drawn to pray.

So, I say that to say this... when it comes to reading the word, my brain and mind has been settling in on 2nd Corinthians for the past two weeks. As I read I find myself drawn to prayer. I find myself literally overwhelmed by the words of Paul. I want to pray to him, about him, to know him. I want to pray for others, for nations, for this campus, for my friends, for those i'm close to, and for faces i've only seen once, and for faces i've never seen. I want to pray that I am that letter of Christ, written not with ink but with the spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts. I want to pray that I... we... find our sufficiency from God, because that is where it comes from and to know that with not only our heads but our hearts... and to pray for understanding that because of Christ we can come to God with unveiled faces... these aren't new things for me to hear or to read but I'm drawn to pray this and so much more... I'm only to the 3rd chapter in 2nd Corinthians and I have even skipped over important parts.... But here is where I struggle I have been drawn to pray, I have been called to pray, and I long to abide in Christ and draw toward him... yet I read this and I say 'Oh THIS is good!' But i haven't prayed. I haven't obeyed that sense of drawing.... and I want that to change.


thought number two:

I decided today, that I want all my dreams to come true. Okay, so that seems like a stupid decision, because who doesn't want their dreams to come true. So rephrasing this would mean: Today I decided, that all my dreams will come true. I'm very excited, as this means I will be living in Ireland. I will also be living in Japan and perhaps Norway (i haven't decided if this is a dream of mine yet... just a thought). I will also visit Lithuania and hang out with Rasmina (I did not tag her in this because she cannot speak English...)This also means I will have a happy life, in which Father gets the glory and not myself. I will also get married and have a daughter who's name is Kana Liane. I know dreams change, but my dreams are coming true. And that, Dave, is a fact. What's cool is I have friends who have and continue to help those dreams come true. Thanks, Clyde

thought number three:

Today in physics, we talked about how we cannot know the future because we cannot know the present. I'm pretty sure it was talking about particles... in some form, of which I do not know. But what I do know is that I 100 percent believe is that Father spoke to me in that moment last night when i was studying, and again when during Scott Williams, Ph.D's lecture today. I don't feel like analyzing the thought, because I'm still a bit at a loss for words regarding it.

thought number four:

Today Tina Doyle said this in my photography class: "It is a pain to do anything worthwhile."
Think about it.
I will quote myself. "Pain gives more than it takes."

thought number five:

I am very thankful for life. I am happier than I have been in a really long time, I enjoy what I do and what I will be doing. Last night, this kid who I don't even know, but Seth knows well- Lane, he drives a motorcycle, he's a ginger, and he comes to the biology lab, and he's usually loud and i get him paper... asked us at Hastings "What am I doing with my life?" Seth was encouraging. "You're going to be a doctor." But it was in that moment that I realised something. When we ask that question, it's not really a "what am i going to be doing with my life?" It's a.. what am i living for NOW? Who am I living for? What does my life amount to... RIGHT NOW? We always think we should strive for the future... when we are called to live in the present, of which we are unsure of. OH wait a minute... this goes back to thought number...three. So now, I will close.

Love you guys

xxx
Lara jo

I have new passions. Some trivial, some less so.

As we all know, and as is obvious, since you are reading my BLOG (short for web-log) I love writing. This has always been obvious. I have tons and tons of journals, I always write. I have different 'genres' - the occasional poetry, when that 'girl' who has no name, but is referred to by pronoun only, depending on which case it is... her, or she... or news writing. News writing... i love it. I love seeking out news, I love delivering well-written stories... and I want to do better. Lately I can't get my brain focused on studying for exams because I have my brain stuck in newspapers from other schools, seeing how they do things differently, how they do some things better and I want to strive for that. I want to be better, I want to continue to give the voiceless a voice, and I want to write the stories that matter. I want to write things people long to read, or write something that someone SHOULD care about and when they start reading it, find a new passion for something. I want to pass on passions, I want people to care about the society they live in, the community they live in, the generation they live in.

For example: Obama chose his national security team yesterday. The team whose main initiative is to END THE WAR IN IRAQ!! A lot of people know this, but a lot of people don't know this. This is information students want to know about, but don't take the time to know about it. I can't fix this, but I can put it in a paper that they might pick up and might be affected by... and in doing so, I learn more about my heart, learn more about my passions, learn more about my desires, and my faith.... I love that. Everything is so intertwined.

also, yesterday it was declared as official: The ECONOMY is in RECESSION. officially... important information, friends.

I used to be apathetic, but not so much anymore.
My main initiative is my faith, it comes first... and I feel like Father is drawing me to seek HIS glory in all that I do, and that means kicking ass at telling the news, at telling the stories... at seeking out the news that students NEED and want to hear. Again, I can't get my head out of my papers and my writing and my ideas to focus on studying.... this may be a problem, but in ways it is also exciting. I love having something to be passionate about. I don't feel like I am sitting on the wayside anymore living a life who's heart beats just to stay alive. My heart beats for a passion of telling, of sharing, of educating... and write now I'm called to do that through a student newspaper. My heart now beats to reach out, it's not about me, it's not about my name, but it's about telling... and oh how so many analogies can be pulled from this about my faith.
I WANT THE APATHY to stop... but it's a human struggle, regarding politics, economics, family, relationships, religion and most importantly: true faith

I also, really have a new obsession with WORDLE. It's pretty slick, joe.
www.wordle.net

watch this... I took everything i just wrote and made this... or rather, the Web site made it.





pretty rock star.

Today has been weird, dave.
Not normal. (That would be the definition of weird... right??) But sometimes, that is needed. I learned some things about myself. Learned where my heart is. Learned I know what I believe. Was brought back to a lonely day on a train from dusseldorf to koln, in which i was challenged and in which i failed and cried tears, wishing I knew how to speak... and I learned. :-) I somewhat... love, today.

<3
LaNiJo <3

i read this today at radiant magazine... it was in an email. I guess they aren't always corny articles

The writer of Hebrews tells us that in order for Jesus to help us, and in order for Him to be a high priest who is merciful and faithful, He had to be like us in every respect. Jesus was enveloped by the same environment that envelops us, tempted by the same deceiver that tempts us, and wounded by the same vice that wounds us (yet in all of this, He did not sin). He can help us because He knows the way, and He can be merciful and faithful because He understands. He resonates with our exploited hearts and knows the brokenness of our souls. His empathy is a great and wondrous comfort.

While the eyes of thieves stealthily covet our earthly treasures and while our intimate friends maliciously betray our weary hearts, I am thankful that we have a Helper. One who has already experienced the journey, paved the conquering way, and sweetly embraces us in arms of understanding.

(Matthew 26:14-50; Hebrews 2:16-18; 2 Peter 3:10)

Since many are boasting in the way the world does, I too will boast. You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face. To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that!

What anyone else dares to boast about—I am speaking as a fool—I also dare to boast about. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they Abraham's descendants? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder....

Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?

If i must boast, i will boast of the things that show my weakness.

2 Corinthians

---------

I would like to go to syria.

Thanks! - Lara

Sophomore Year of College.... we were so cute.

I think something I struggle with is the concept that God loves me just as much as he loves the next person. I don’t see myself as better than, and I do view the God I serve as a personal God, but I think ii tend to view my relationship with him extremely different than someone else’s relationship. To an extent that is true. God speaks to me in different ways than he speaks to someone else, he TEACHES me in different ways than someone else, because he has made me different, he has made us all different. Christ knows how he formed me and he knows the best way to speak to me, to grow me, to teach me. So in those ways, my relationship with Christ is different than other people's relationship with him. However, as I read through 2 Corinthians I see, as Paul points out that we are just as much Christ’s as the next believer. I know this, I believe this, I understand this, but sometimes I forget this… not in a selfish way, not in a mean way, not in a conceited way… but when I remember this, I am actually overjoyed. People know this God. He is real, he’s not just mine, but he speaks to everyone, he speaks through us and he grabs our attention. This Christ is REAL….

Also for random sake I love that even though he can see my ugliness, he doesn’t see me as ugly.
Humbling, really.


ALSO Garrett Lively pointed out that Bethlahem means house of bread, so the bread of life was born in a bakery. (ha ha)

Thanksgiving, although I am spending mine mostly alone until the evening, is a time that I cherish. In the midst of everything going on, it's good to just stop and reflect... to look at what I'm learning and how far I've come.


I've been reading 2 Corinthians. Today, as I read chapter 11 I heard Paul. I heard the tone of his voice I heard his hurt, his longing, his desire for Christ... to be known, his desire for believers to be discipled. He hurts when his brothers/sisters hurt.

I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for that in other believers.

it's only the cover letter, the rest is a bit boring, so i won't post it.... and i'm mainly posting it so lena can see her cute kitties

even though i mostly hate it, i love working for information technology because of the people it has brought into my life. <3 <3 (mostly)

i'll post photos later, yo.

Lara jo




someday i will drive one of those. <3

There are many places where Paul says "I die everyday," and every time I read this, I am reminded that that is our call. Paul says he counts everything as loss compared to knowing Christ. He claims that even though he comes trembling and in weakness and fear that he wants to know Christ and him crucified and that's it. Through reading the word, specifically 1 Corinthians, Father is showing me daily that I have to give up my hopes and my desires, my wants and my needs. That i can't constantly compare myself, because in doing so it's spiritual suicide. That all past trips, past experiences should be placed aside because I want to know nothing but Christ and him crucified. That's what I learned two weeks ago. Today as I sat over 1 Corinthians and discussed it w/ Stephie that again was taught, but I realized that I can't live for my profit, even my own spiritual profit, but for others. That i should show love to others, not so I feel comfortable or good, but for their hearts. If I am doing things for human reasons, what have I gained. Paul even poses the same question... What are my motivations? Christ's call upon my life, or my desires. Am I living in the flesh, am I trying to live in my own strength, or in the strength of Father... am I living in the spirit?

I wrote this on Charles' wall, and i think i inspired myself about my future.

Sorry, Charles that you have to read it twice.


dang, well if possible my plan would be to tag along with you guys ;-)

nah, i have no idea-- finish school, work in the journalism field... but i'd like to see how all my passions become eventually meshed together- for overseas, for people to know father, for seeking out news and sharing, for giving the voiceless a voice, for teaching and for the language of german... interesting combinations, no idea how they will go together, but i'm confident that they will

I'm admitting it.

I MISS HANNOVER.

I miss everyone... a lot.

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works I meditate....

The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

(parts of) Psalm 145



------------------------------------

i voted today. pretty neat.

I am not sure what I long for. Currently. I long for peace and lack of confusion. I long for souls to know the captivating and wonderful love of Father... I long for those things. I know that... what I don't know is what I long for. Where is my life going? What are my plans? What will I be when I grow up? I don't know those things. I've been told I never will-- and that is why again, I have to learn to live one day at a time. One moment as it comes.

There are days I feel invincible and others that I feel weak, tired unsure and unstable. I think this may just be a part of the human condition-- the fact that I won't receive perfection until heaven... that my soul is aching to be with Christ and see him. I don't really know, I kind of just said that because it sounded good... but it's a good theory.

I applied for one internship and I'm not really nervous about it-- mainly because I'm pretty for certain I won't get it-- and that's OK with me. As Dr. Boone said, "you'll never know if you don't apply." That is true. What a genius of a guy.

Lately the idea that c-dawg put into my thoughts has been coming up- The idea that we, as christians, are educated beyond our capability of obedience.

I think there has been a ton lost in our ability to know what obedience looks like. We think obedience is defined by if we read our bible daily-- shouldn't reading our bible draw us to active biblical decisions, to prayer, to living out the words of the bible in our lives?
what happened to that.

1. worthy of admiration; inspiring approval, reverence, or affection.
2. excellent; first-rate

one of the stories i wrote for the Ram Page received this comment

Thank you your article really helped me alot,excellently written,it was received at a very needed time.You don't know the details but I am a mom of 5 and I was ready to let myself go.

if that isn't enough to keep me writing... i don't know what is.


this semester, Father has shown me love, he has shown me how to have confidence, and he has humbled me.

–adjective

1.	charmingly or exquisitely beautiful: a lovely flower.

2.	having a beauty that appeals to the heart or mind as well as to the eye, as a person or a face.

3.	delightful; highly pleasing: to have a lovely time.

4.	of a great moral or spiritual beauty: a lovely character.

1.	free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind; free from extraneous matter: pure gold; pure water.

2.	unmodified by an admixture; simple or homogeneous.

3.	of unmixed descent or ancestry: a pure breed of dog.

4.	free from foreign or inappropriate elements: pure Attic Greek.

5.	clear; free from blemishes: pure skin.

6.	(of literary style) straightforward; unaffected.

7.	abstract or theoretical (opposed to applied ): pure science.

8.	without any discordant quality; clear and true: pure tones in music.

9.	absolute; utter; sheer: to sing for pure joy.

10.	being that and nothing else; mere: a pure accident.

11.	clean, spotless, or unsullied: pure hands.

12.	untainted with evil; innocent: pure in heart.

13.	physically chaste; virgin.

14.	ceremonially or ritually clean.

15.	free of or without guilt; guiltless.

16.	independent of sense or experience: pure knowledge.

17.	Biology, Genetics. a. homozygous. b. containing only one characteristic for a trait.

i am citing this at the beginning, mainly for seth

http://www.state.gov/g/tip/rls/fs/08/99365.htm

[Chart developed by Solidarity Center (www.solidaritycenter.org) and International Catholic Migration Commission (www.icmc.org). Circulated by the Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, U.S. Department of State]

The chart below, extrapolated and simplified from the 2000 UN Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons, especially women and children definition, is a useful tool for analyzing individual cases to determine whether or not they constitute trafficking. In order for a situation to be trafficking, it must have at least one of the elements within each of the three criteria of Process, Means, and Goal.

Human Trafficking is:

Process	+	Way/Means	+	Goal
Recruitment or Transportation or Transferring or Harboring or Receiving	A N D	Threat or Coercion or Abduction or Fraud or Deceit or Deception or Abuse of Power	A N D	Prostitution or Pornography or Violence/Sexual Exploitation or Forced Labor or Involuntary Servitude or Debt Bondage (with unfair wages) or Slavery/Similar practices

If one condition from each category is met, the result is trafficking. For adults, victim consent is irrelevant if one of the Means is employed. For children consent is irrelevant with or without the Means category.

in march of 2007 I was given a heart for the abolition of human trafficking (the buying and selling of people) through a book I read. As I lived in Hamburg a few months after that, a place where prostitution is greatly popular, I felt Father was continually giving me a softenend heart for the women and children who are sold and forced to live in a world I cannot even imagine. They have souls and long to feel, but don't know how. Father has been renewing my passion for this subject the past week... i've been hanging out on www.stopthetraffik.org

In September of 2007, Kendall Payne sang this song at a closed concert i went to about this same subject matter... and Father has spoken me through it...

Don’t touch me, Don’t touch me there (2x)
I am bare and he is staring, we are trapped and caged like animals
I am small it isn’t fitting. I am screaming but no one’s listening
Don’t touch me, Don’t touch me there

I forgot what it feels like to feel safe, I forgot what it feels like to feel brave
A shattered soul never heals, this heart of flesh has turned to steal
I’ve forgotten how to feel

He liked her, he liked her that way
He broke her she has never been the same
Can you imagine? Can you fathom such a place where evil spreads its seed?
It’s upon us, It’s beneath us, It’s up to us to do something
He liked her, he liked her that way…

Listen little children to the story of a girl who found her knight and shining armor
When he saved her from the dragon he was strong and not afraid that there was
Smoke and there was fire and they lived happily ever after in his castle far away
Listen little children to the story of a girl


also here is a photo from my weekend

noble...

highly moral.
grand, splendid.

so lately, I've been running along the theme of training my mind for godliness. I've only thought about it... but today, when I was supposed to be listening to a lecture in class, I wrote down Phil. 4:8 like this:

Think about such things:

whatever is:

true

noble

pure

lovely

admirable

excellent

praiseworthy

And then, I began to think about what exactly each word means...

This morning, I found myself having to look up stupid words in the dictionary, like avalanche, to make sure it was used correctly in a news story... I learned that it is permissible to use avalanche when referring to falling objects other than snow. (so, Jessie Bo- the guy in holland was correct when he said 'oh shit, it's like an avalanche of sodas.')


So, If I may be a little corny-esque, let's begin today, with the word true.

Main Entry:
1true
Pronunciation:
\ˈtrü\
Function:
adjective
Inflected Form(s):
tru·er; tru·est
Etymology:
Middle English trewe, from Old English trēowe faithful; akin to Old High German gitriuwi faithful, Old Irish derb sure, and probably to Sanskrit dāruṇa hard, dāru wood — more at tree
Date:
before 12th century
1 a: steadfast , loyal b: honest , just carchaic : truthful2 a (1): being in accordance with the actual state of affairs (2): conformable to an essential reality (3): fully realized or fulfilled b: ideal , essential c: being that which is the case rather than what is manifest or assumed d: consistent 3 a: properly so called b (1): possessing the basic characters of and belonging to the same natural group as (2): typical 4: legitimate , rightful 5 a: that is fitted or formed or that functions accurately b: conformable to a standard or pattern : accurate6: determined with reference to the earth's axis rather than the magnetic poles 7: logically necessary8: narrow , strict 9: corrected for error
— true·ness noun


So what is true? We know what is 'true' and 'factual' according to the world-- objective truth, but subjective truth? is there such a thing? I argue yes... for obvious reasons, I'm a Christian.
So I set my mind on Christ- he is true....


i could say much more but i really need to study for public relations. I may fail if i don't.

A week ago, I was struck by a thought.

When overseas, I was always told to never say "I grew up a Christian."
I understood why-- because people will immediately think "then of course you believe, it's how you were raised to believe." It was never an issue to address, but last week while sitting at starbucks I heard someone justifying their faith by saying the words, "well that's how I was raised."

It's not a reason. It's NOT a reason why you believe what you believe. I don't care what anyone says, it should not be a part of the reason.


I believe in ancient work, and I believe that my parents and my family poured a lot into me that caused me to draw toward Christ as he captured my heart, but I didn't believe because of how I was raised.

I've been thinking about making this post for the past week, how to phrase it, how to couple words together to get this thought from my brain into tangible words. I want to mention Timothy and the ancient work of his mother and grandmother which drew him to Christ but he didn't follow Christ because of 'how he was raised.' Christ extremely and 100% captured his heart and changed his life. I could go into greater detail but my stomach is churning and my mind is racing.

I do not believe in Jesus because of how I was raised. I believe in Jesus because he took me from depths of despair in my life and showed me how he offers true life. He did that through situations, as well as through his word in the bible and through mentors who poured encouragement into my heart.

The God of the Bible is the real, true, living God, and I believe in him, not because of how I was raised, but because he is real.

http://www.flowerdust.net/2008/10/17/keeping-your-mouth-shut/#comments
found this interesting.
it also made me cry.


what is something you feel you can’t say in church, or around other christians?

I’d rather look like a good christian than put in the time and effort to actually be one.

I currently feel NO connection to God when I pray or read the bible.

That I hate Facing the Giants.

When I say “I’ll pray for you.” I don’t usually mean it. I have been a Christian for 27 years and I still don’t understand the point of praying.

I struggle with having a quiet time. I’ve been a “Christian” since I was 6 years old and sometimes I wonder if I really am a Christian and why I don’t seem to have it all together.

Most people I know who claim to follow God are really sucky people who don’t care about anything but themselves and their comfort. It makes me not want to follow their rules.

‘not all Christians are republicans’

Sometimes I wonder if this whole Christianity thing is a lie.

That law is easier than grace … just tell me what to do and not do and I’ll give it my best shot.

Grace is too big, to wide open and scary.

I’m depressed- and it’s not because of a relationship with Jesus.

Stop making Christianity a scapegoat for not developing a personality. Quit being judgemental, flakey, egotistical, mean, rude, fake in the name of a God who was none of those things.

my Christian husband and i almost never speak of spiritual things…we have almost no spiritual connection at all

what a weekend.

so i was supposed to go to dallas, but after we got an hour out the car broke down. Our friend heather, happened to be going to abilene so she saw us and stopped and waited with us until the tow truck came. She also took us somewhere to eat. That was amazing. So, my friend David was able to pick us up. The car is still in abilene, but we'll get it this week.

Other than that, the weekend has been good. I've finally been able to simply have some down time... God planned this.

xoxo
Lara jo

it has been brought to my attention how popular "casual sex" is. It has nothing to do with relationships or caring for the person... it's self-gratification. The very idea of this makes me want to throw up, it hurts and if I dare be so brash I don't agree with it.

I think sex is as Matt Chandler has said, the mingling of souls. It is something that requires a relationship, and is something not only physical, but mental as well.

I think God weeps over us for many reasons, but also because we are so confused with the world. Our priorities are jacked up. We place our thoughts, that we can only base on "well that's how I think" as our number one priority. We don't know or read the bible. We don't know the depth of life that Christ is calling us too.

I don't want to live for self. I want to live for my God, my creator.

I want Christ to make me a crisis-woman.

Lara jo

also, i am convinced that cupcakes are slutty muffins

hehe

This was written by Micah, it inspired me, and therefore I would like to share it. <3>


sitting in the cup inspires me to write =) i just had an interesting convo with a friend about Father and the work He's doing and the way people live their lives. End thoughts were some that came to mind, ones of Heaven and Hell and if people believe in these two places and where they would like to end up and if they believe and know which they will end up in.

So.....how are we living our lives? Coming to college i've realized that either a person will completely immerse themselves and grow in Father, or they will be kinda there and slowly slip away. Living life on my own has brought so many changes and choices that i never knew i'd have to make. one of them was how i was who i was going to become and what i was doing to actually get there. and college is great cause you can do virtually whatever you want! you can eat at taco mayo at three in the morning and get coffee every hour to help you stay awake thru class! the things you love are suddenly at your fingertips and you can have as much as you want whenever you want and the parents arent there to stiffle your elation of joy with the things you love! the things you choose to love.

I'm becoming who i was made to be. I'm an individual that loves things that I love. I'm unique. I choose to love Father. And love Him more than just the oh yea let me take out my Bible today, I mean a deep desperate and loyal love! One that you would give to your bestest friend! The one that brings you joy in beautiful things and the hand that wipes away your tears during your darkest times. To live loyal means to actually spend time with the one you are so loyal to. To want them. To seek them and yearn for that time together. And to be loyal when you are not together where your focus of them is not so clear.

If we are to live for Father we have to remember the end. That how we live now will affect us then. 1 Corinthians 3:9-15 says "For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, you are God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation and another build on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foudation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

So if we are living for Father then what we build up will be gold, silver, and precious stones, and those things will last, they will be our rewards in Heaven, but if we live a life that is not for Father we will be building up useless materials for our house, wood, hay, and fire that will burn when tested in the fire. And wewill suffer great loss for our life was nothing, compared to everything that it could have been.

Our lives can be filled so greatly! And yet we wont grasp ahold and say okay in this disloyal world i will choose to be completely loyal to one thing. One person. Father. And as we look to the end we realize that our lives are being purified to be like Him and our house is being built up from a solid foundation with firm walls. Heaven is not the end goal, disciipleship, living for the One that saves us is.